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Escorting, Fetish Model, Internet, Marketing, Phone Sex, Pro Domme, Sex Work, Webcam

Creating Your Own Demand

Rule_34We all know about Rule 34: There is a fetish for everything. Everything has potential to turn someone on. It’s one of the best things about being a sex worker. You get to create your own niche to the extreme. But how exactly do you build demand once you’ve created your niche? The good news is that it is essentially really easy. The bad news is that it is time consuming. But nobody is going to be successful doing nothing, so I’m just going to assume that you’re not lazy and that you want to fucking work. First off, get your ass on social media. You can’t avoid social media anymore when you’re creating your demand. Hashtags are your best friend on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. But it’s so much more than that!! You have to also network. The sex worker community on Tumblr is one of my absolute favorites. People constantly build each other up, dish out hate on creepers, and reblog advertisements. Just remember that you’re expected to do the same! Use watermarked photos of yourself to advertise your services, whether you’re a pro-Domme, cammer, PSO or escort. Don’t just post the photo though, include your website(s) in the description!

Do a bit of research. Who are the people who have similar interests and where do they hang out? There are forums for just about every kink these days, and forums are a great place to start conversations with potential clients/customers.

Own what you do. Are you a POC into cosplay? Show off your geek knowledge along side your cosplaying photos. You have a personality (even if it’s a made up one), use it to your advantage. By making yourself a relatable individual, people will feel connected to you and more likely to support your services. This can be a problem when you’re a FemDom, as there is a fine balance between being too accessible and not enough. Find that balance! Do something different from everyone else. Nobody likes a copycat. Don’t copy other people!! It’s in poor taste. Standing out from the crowd will make you stand out in peoples’ minds.

Don’t wait for other people. You own you. You control what you do. You cannot expect to sit around and wait for others to make you successful. That’s not how this industry works. Find what you want to do and do it. Don’t wait for companies to hire you. Don’t wait for approval from anyone. Just fucking do it.

Nobody cares about your success more than you, so why on earth are you not doing anything about it? 

Sydney Screams: Fetish Model, Clip Producer, Adult Actress, Radio Talk Show Host

Clips, Fetish Model, Internet, Self Care, Sex Work

Before You Get Naked On The Internet…

imageOnline based sex work, such as fetish clips and webcamming, is attractive for a lot of reasons. It can be done with just a webcam and an internet connection. You can do it in the comfort of your own home. And you can have as much or as little contact with clients as you want.

But that doesn’t mean it’s all lying around in cozy lingerie and watching the sales emails roll in. It’s WORK.

In the past couple years I’ve helped a lot of people set up their first fetish clips studios. More accurately – I’ve given a lot of people the lessons & tools to do so, complete with filming their first clips. But I’ve also gone out of my way to help people who haven’t done their homework. And that’s not cool. It’s a waste of my time and theirs. This is a guide I rather accidentally compiled from emails I’ve sent to people asking the same questions.

These are the things you need to do BEFORE you open your studio and BEFORE you come to me or Sydney to help you get up and running. We’ve talked a lot about making money filming clips. But we’ve been catering to people already in sex work or perform as fetish models in some capacity. This is more basic. These are the things you need to do FIRST.

1. Choose a hooker name. Don’t even talk to me about filming until you know what you want to call you on camera and the name of your store. Take your time, because you’re kind of stuck with it, but figure it out.

This is also a good place to start developing your Hooker Persona. For a lot of people it’s a fairly organic process, but it’s worth putting some thought into. Are you an evil cunt who lives to cause pain? Sexual being of pure energy whose kink transcends gender? A deliberately generic horny slut who likes getting off on camera. A lot of this will be determined by how your clients perceive you, and will evolve over time, but having a basic idea of how you want to present yourself is helpful.

2. What do you want to do? What are you willing to do? Live webcamming? Filming porn? Filming fetish porn? Check out the major sites –  www.streamate.com, www.niteflirt.com, and of course, www.clips4sale.com. See what it takes and what it looks like. Browse the categories. See what sells. See where you might fit in. Then think about what you want to do in greater detail, and perhaps just as importantly, what you DON’T want to do.

I can’t emphasize boundaries enough. They will be pushed consistently and often unexpectedly. Common requests include: nudity, masturbation, anal play/sex, sex toys, tickling, sucking of toes, domination, submission, gay humiliation, racial humiliation, peeing, filming/camming with other people, and some things you never would have imagined. It’s much easier to navigate if you have set your personal boundaries ahead of time.

The #1 priority is to take care of yourself – which will be more emotionally centered with solitary digital based work. Pushing your boundaries out of desperation can lead to extremely dangerous situations. That’s a totally privileged position and there’s a lot of political shit inherent in saying that, but highly applicable to the majority our audience here. Don’t put up with shit you’re not ok with just because you might make a few bucks off of it.

3. Do the paperwork. If you’re not ok with sites like the aforementioned having your legal information or records of your income, stop now. Otherwise, get yourself to a scanner or fax machine. Fill out their forms. Scan your IDs. Send in your tax forms. Whatever else it takes to get approved (it’s been a while… I don’t remember the specifics.) It usually takes a couple days to get approved, but you can keep working to be ready for launch while you wait!

4. How out are you ok being? Are you ok showing your face? Are you ok with your parents, friends, co-workers, future lovers, or future employers finding out? Or at least prepared for that possibility? Once your image hits the internet, especially in a sexy porny context, you can pretty much consider it immortalized. There’s no going back. You can get a lot of distance and erase as much as possible… but the internet has a long memory.

5. Know the Deal. In my experience the money I make from online based sex work is directly proportional to the time and effort I put into it. This is a slow burn kind of field. Each clip you sell will earn you about $3-$5 on average, but that can start to really add up over time. You may have 4 shitty hours on cam and then have an hour long private that rains tips on you. And either way you usually won’t see that money immediately unless you’re working independently, which I know too little about to give good advice on.

Payouts for clips sites generally happen monthly. Cam sites generally pay either weekly or bi-weekly. Are you able to sustain yourself on that? And both will take a significant percentage of your total sales. Look up how much and set your prices accordingly.

It takes both hard work and a bit of patience. It takes a while to build a customer base, especially in a niche market. You won’t make a boat load of money quickly. But you can lay the foundation for sustainable and relatively passive income down the line.

Congratulations! You made it this far! You’ve set up your studio/cam profile and are ready to start earning those sweet paychecks! Now get your sexy butt/feet/mouth on camera!

And while you’re editing / updating come back here and read these:

4 Easy Ways To Increase Your Clip Sales

Dealing With Rolls While Camming Part 1

Make More Money From Fetish Clips

Consistency Is Key

Lauren Kiley: Webcam Girl, Fetish Performer, Fetish Clip Producer, Former Escort, Activist, Dirty Girl Next Door.

Escorting, Fetish Model, Money Management, Pro Domme, Sex Work, Uncategorized, Webcam

So You Want to Quit Your Day Job

So you want to quit your day job…

Ok, first thing? Don’t.
Not right away, anyway. You’ve got some serious planning to do first, sugarbritches! It took me nearly a year to get everything ready to go from working in this industry part-time to making it my full-time job and my sole means of income. If this is a choice that you have the luxury of making in advance, make the most of the time you have to make the move as painless as possible.

Are you making at least the same amount of money whoring part-time that you are while working full-time at the day job? If the answer is no, stop reading this article and start honing your skills in your chosen field and come back after the answer is yes. When you’re getting your footing while moving into being your own boss all the time, you’re going to need to take time figuring out a new rhythm, a new schedule, a new well… everything. This could very well eat into your planned “work week” at the beginning and allowing yourself enough time to adjust will save you some serious gray hairs. Especially since there really aren’t any guaranteed paychecks in this biz, bogging yourself down with “holy shit I have to whore for 60 hours to make this week’s bills.” will kill you. KILL YOU. So yes, make sure you are comfortably making your current pay with part-time effort right out of the gate. it will make your transition that much easier. There will be booming times and lean times, be prepared.

Are you prepared to no longer have a mainstream job as an answer when someone asks you what you do for a living? Do you plan on being “out”? To whom? These are questions that you may not have had to think about when this was just a part-time gig but once you are all-in, be prepared to be asked about this “great new job you’ve started” and you should have an answer ready, (whatever it may be) for people that matter to you. Obviously, not everyone needs to know your business but be prepared to be asked, and be asked often. This is also a good time to remind you that at some point in time you could possibly be recognized or god forbid, outted.

Have a hefty amount in savings put away before you give your notice. I hope you’ve been saving your whore money while you’ve been slaving away at your day job because you really never know what adjustments you’re going to need to make once you make your ho job your only job. I saved 6 months worth of expenses because my husband had been laid off the year before and that showed me how important a safety net was, especially with a mortgage.

Let’s talk health insurance. Because let’s be real, this is a giant issue for us all and if you’re leaving a job without health insurance, you better have a plan to replace it. Many of us go without, on a hope and a prayer and lord knows that shit ain’t smart. (I was lucky enough to only have to wait a few months until open enrollment for my husband’s plan through his employer. I know how lucky I was to have had that option.) Paying out of pocket for every last bit of health insurance you’ll need can get CRAZY expensive, and hopefully the Affordable Healthcare Act will help lessen some of the burden in the future. Regardless, it’s always a good idea to do your research and plan for what decisions you’ll need to make.

So yes, if Sex Work is the job you love (or love to hate) and the career path you’re choosing, please don’t jump in hastily. Plan ahead, save your money and come to terms with whatever social hangups others will have about your profession before making the leap.
It’ll serve you well in the long run.

 

Savannah Darling: Fetish Specialist, Webcam Mistress, Phone Sex Operator, Professional Domina

Clips, Fetish Model, Internet, Sex Work, Webcam

Camera-Ready: Makeup Tips

I thought having a series of posts on how to get yourself ready to film clips or for camming would be fun since these are things I’m always thinking about. What to wear, how to do my makeup, props, etc. I think I may have tried it all so hopefully the shortcuts I’ve learned can make your day a little easier!

So let’s talk Whore Paint, shall we?

Makeup for the camera can be quite different than your everyday routine. I know for me, when I do my regular makeup where I’ll be seeing people face-to-face, I aim for subtle and try to go for the fresh-faced look. But when I’m filming or going on cam? Completely different. The main reason is, no matter how good of a camera you have or how fantastic your HD recording is, it takes SO much more for your makeup look to “pop” and translate to video. BUT just because it takes a little more effort to look “made up” on camera, doesn’t necessarily mean you need to actually *apply* more. Through trial and error (LOTS of error) I’ve figured out how to look done up without completely covering myself head to toe in face paint by utilizing a few tricks.

Don’t pile it on. Use the least amount of product with the most amount of impact. This means using better quality, higher pigmented products so you can use less of it and be less susceptible to having it run or smear while you work. Plus, less makeup = less clogged pores and easier to remove at the end of the night. Higher quality doesn’t need to mean expensive though (stay tuned for a post on some awesome products for less!) and you can find most of the good stuff right at your drug store. Seriously!

Moisturize and prime! A good moisturizer will change your life, followed by a good face primer. Together, they’ll give you an awesome canvas to work with as well as help keep what you put on, where you put it. Just please remember to give both of these products time to set up in between applications. Wait at least 5 minutes after applying moisturizer (longer if you can stand it) before applying primer and then wait again at least 5 minutes after applying primer before starting your make up. I usually do these steps while I’m doing my hair so it doesn’t feel like forever while I’m waiting. That and because I have no patience whatsoever.

Foundation or no? I personally do NOT wear foundation when I work because I have really sensitive skin (read: break-out prone) and I want to minimize the layers of products on my face. I prefer to use a really good concealer to highlight areas that need it and a matter bronzer powder to shade or contour other areas. A good concealer that matches your skin tone can help hide any imperfections without covering your entire face with it like you normally would with foundation.

Waterproof and Long-wearing? YES! I know it’s a no-brainer but raccoon-eyes are not the business so invest in a good, waterproof set of products. Waterproof mascara, eyeliner and lipstick will make your life so much easier. I mean, who wants to re-do their whole face halfway through their cam shift? Not this girl. Plus, there’s nothing worse than getting red lipstick all over yourself after a particularly hot scene. I once filmed a breast worship video in a bright yellow bathing suit and in playback I realized that I must have touched my lips at some point and got red smudges all over my tits and bikini top. Definitely changed the marketing description for that video, that’s for sure.

Lashes. Like everything else, this is a personal choice. I really love to wear them if I have the time to apply them. I feel like if I wear lashes, I don’t have to wear a ton of mascara to get the look I want especially since many times, too much mascara = flaking, which sucks. Plus, on cam, with the right pair, it just looks like you have really lovely eyes. It’s not super obvious that you’re wearing false eyelashes like it tends to be when in-person. So like I said, personal choice on whether to wear them or not but I think they look lovely when done right and if you have the time for them.

I hope some of these tips help you with a place to start or maybe build on the routines you already have in place. I know that makeup and skincare go hand in hand so next time I’ll be talking about how to keep your skin looking fantastic after all these days of wearing makeup! (Lord knows I’ve done it wrong enough times to write a book! ha!)

What kinds of makeup tricks have made your life easier when you’re in from of the camera? We’d love to hear all about them in the comments!

Savannah Darling: Fetish Specialist, Webcam Mistress, Phone Sex Operator, Professional Domina

Community, Escorting, Fetish Model, Sex Work, Uncategorized, Webcam

Being Your Very Own Fairy Whore Mother… or maybe not?

a.k.a, When and How to Help a Fellow Whore and When to Politely Decline.

Now as you know, we over here at Fairy Whore Mother thought there was a severe lack in resources for sex workers in the realm of “How-To” (or in some cases, “How-NOT-To”).  So, being that ‘necessity is the mother of invention’ and all that happy horseshit, add in the fact that we like helping and love our community and VOILA!, you have the awesomeness that is FWM. We also like seeing others reaching out to help one another survive in this crazy business. It really warms our cold, black little hearts. Many sex workers get solicited for advice on how to get into the biz, how to make more money while IN the biz, how to use a new platform/software/website, how to transition into a new sector of the biz… and so on and so forth. If you’ve been in this business for any amount of time at all, I’m sure you’ve been asked any or all of those questions a time or two. (If you haven’t, give it a little time, I’m sure it’s coming.) Giving a little help to a fellow ho (if you want to) can feel really fucking awesome BUT it can also be a big responsibility. Here’s a few things to ask yourself before becoming someone’s Patron Saint of Whoring.

What are your intentions?

Please don’t offer your help to a colleague if you’re only looking to make money off them. If you are starting a legit consulting business, congratulations, go for it. Be upfront about your pricing and do your thing, sugar! But if you’re not and you’re only willing to help others because getting them to sign up with the cam/phone/booty shaking company you work with solely because it gets you a referral bonus? Do us all a favor and don’t. That makes you look pretty damn shady. I’ve recommended the camming platform and clips sites I use because I’ve had good experiences with them and am comfortable suggesting them to others. Referrals are great and you shouldn’t feel guilty for getting them but really, in my opinion it’s not that important and I’ve never done the whole “be sure to tell them I sent you… blah blah blah…” spiel.

Be honest.

If someone has come to you for guidance and you’re inclined to give it, be truthful. I’ve shared my experiences when asked for them and I always try to give real, honest answers. Inflating my own success isn’t going to help anyone earn a proper paycheck if I’m really trying to help someone. Don’t lie about how much you make or how successful you are to someone who is seeking out your help. If you are friendly enough with this person to share something as intimate as your income, be a decent human and be honest. If you’re not comfortable sharing it, don’t. You’re not a bad person if that information feels too personal or intimate to give out and you shouldn’t feel guilty for saying so.

Do you know what you’re talking about?

Please be honest with yourself about your own expertise. If you don’t have enough insight to help another, don’t feel bad in simply saying so. In my experience, people have a really fucking hard time simply saying “I don’t know.” and give whatever dumbass convoluted mashup of wrong information that comes to their minds. There’s no shame in saying, “Sorry, I really am still figuring it all out for myself and may not be the best to help you get started.” You can direct them to someone you think may be better equipped and that is perfectly ok.

Are you willing to tell them ALL they need to know?

If you’re going to give them a little “starter advice” and then give them the sink-or-swim treatment, don’t even bother. Because honestly? You can do way more harm than good. If you’re going to take the responsibility of being someone’s “mentor”, you better give them ALL the pertinent details of the work. ESPECIALLY regarding safety tips and privacy concerns. I once listened in horror when I was told a cautionary tale about a provider getting a woman into escorting and then giving her NO advice on screening or privacy. Later, this newbie was outted to her family due to poor discretion practices that could have easily been avoided if she had gotten ANY advice on those things from her so-called “mentor”. Yes, it was the newbie’s responsibility to do her research on how to protect herself but she trusted this escort whom she thought was her friend and relied solely on her as she began her escorting career.

So if you decide you’d like to help someone the next time they ask for your assistance in this industry, do it with good intentions, be honest with yourself and them, and give them the full picture. You don’t need to write their whole damn business plan but do give them all the pertinent details; especially the information they’ll need begin successfully and safely.

Do you have any tips? I’d love to hear them in the comments!

Savannah Darling: Fetish Specialist, Webcam Mistress, Phone Sex Operator, Professional Domina