Category Archives: Pro Domme

Backpage Seized By Feds

Backpage was seized by the feds, this is different from when Backpage themselves  took down the erotic services section (ads migrated to the personals section). This time the site was seized by the FBI. For several days the indictment was sealed but it finally was made public and as predicted by many sex workers and their advocates, it contains NO charges related to human trafficking and once again targets the owners of Backpage with facilitating prostitution, money laundering, etc. This is pretty much what happened last time and these charges were thrown out by a judge. I would expect that this will happen again but you never know cuz it looks like the feds are playing judge roulette and are hoping that one of their harassment adventures will stick with a friendly judge.

You can read the indictment here: https://drive.google.com/viewerng/viewer?url=http://archive.azcentral.com/persistent/icimages/news/backpage%2520indictment.compressed.pdf

None of that of course is comforting to any sex workers who relied on Backpage for their livelihood which are often the most venerable among us. Just because Backpage disappeared doesn’t mean you can’t make a living. You will have to be clever and re-think your marketing strategies. Lots of things are changing right now and because of SESTA and FOSTA they are changing quickly and daily. No one really knows whats going to change next and how people are going to react. Its a good time to take some steps to protect yourself, your business and your livelihood.

Australian Sex Workers a new site advertising site when up to help fill the void of the disappearing Backpage http://crockor.com.au/

4 Things to try when your ad venue disappears: https://fairywhoremother.com/4-things-you-can-do-when-your-advertising-venue-disappears/

Consider hosting off shore in case American hosting companies decide to no longer host sex worker sites: https://redumbrella.ch/

A Mastodon Instance popped up AKA a twitter like sex work social media that it might be worth joining if only to next work with other Sex Workers so you can stay current on new options and info. I’m not sure its gonna be a great place to find clients but its worth having a profile up and to see what it evolves into.

https://switter.at/web/getting-started

You can follow me there under my name #JennyDeMIlo

Switter has  added a “listings” feature  to ry to fill the void of the Backpage seizure where you can post availability: https://listings.switter.at/

It’s a tough time and with SESTA set to be signed today its gonna be a dark day for a lot of sex workers. Be kind to them.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, Hypno-Domme and former GFE Escort

Escort safety in the age of SESTA – From Escort-Ads Dot Com

Escort-Ads.com is not a US based escort ad site and they had some solid advice on ways to stay safe. The most compelling on their list is Host your personal website on a server in a country where prostitution is legal. This  is very good advice. Though SESTA takes aim at advertising sites where sites can be held responsible for their users behavior, no one really knows how US Hosting sites will react and what preemptive measures they will take with hosting escort websites.  You might find your site has once day been disappeared.

My suggestion is to put up a second site hosting in a country where prostitution is legal and forward your current site to  the new one.

Here is the link to the Escord-Ads post about ways to stay safe. Also there is some very good information about ICANN and what the US has jurisdiction on.

https://www.escort-ads.com/news/sesta-update-list-solutions

Yes, this will cost some money but honestly its not cost prohibitive and its important to do even if its just for your own peace of mind. No one knows whats going to happen. City-Vibe, Reddit, Craigslist Personals  have all made changes and the law isn’t even signed yet.

Be proactive! Be safe!

 

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Backpage went poof!

Backpage was shut down. What happens next is panic. I know, I lived though the shut down of the Craig’s List Adult Services shut down. Try to stay calm. You will be okay, develop a new plan. Get to work implementing it.

Read this from a couple years ago, it was written after Redbook disappeared:  https://fairywhoremother.com/4-things-you-can-do-when-your-advertising-venue-disappears/

Here is a running list of places to advertise that still exist. (as of Jan 2017) Some of these cost money, some don’t. Some might be for local areas, others are nationwide. Do your research, see what works for you. Most of all know you will be OK. This happens, it sucks but you are a sex worker you’re already resourceful.  (if you have any sites to ad to this list  please reach out so i can add them. jenny@goodtimejenny.com or on Twitter @jennydemilo )

http://www.eros.com/

http://www.cityvibe.com/

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Creating Your Own Demand

Rule_34We all know about Rule 34: There is a fetish for everything. Everything has potential to turn someone on. It’s one of the best things about being a sex worker. You get to create your own niche to the extreme. But how exactly do you build demand once you’ve created your niche? The good news is that it is essentially really easy. The bad news is that it is time consuming. But nobody is going to be successful doing nothing, so I’m just going to assume that you’re not lazy and that you want to fucking work. First off, get your ass on social media. You can’t avoid social media anymore when you’re creating your demand. Hashtags are your best friend on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. But it’s so much more than that!! You have to also network. The sex worker community on Tumblr is one of my absolute favorites. People constantly build each other up, dish out hate on creepers, and reblog advertisements. Just remember that you’re expected to do the same! Use watermarked photos of yourself to advertise your services, whether you’re a pro-Domme, cammer, PSO or escort. Don’t just post the photo though, include your website(s) in the description!

Do a bit of research. Who are the people who have similar interests and where do they hang out? There are forums for just about every kink these days, and forums are a great place to start conversations with potential clients/customers.

Own what you do. Are you a POC into cosplay? Show off your geek knowledge along side your cosplaying photos. You have a personality (even if it’s a made up one), use it to your advantage. By making yourself a relatable individual, people will feel connected to you and more likely to support your services. This can be a problem when you’re a FemDom, as there is a fine balance between being too accessible and not enough. Find that balance! Do something different from everyone else. Nobody likes a copycat. Don’t copy other people!! It’s in poor taste. Standing out from the crowd will make you stand out in peoples’ minds.

Don’t wait for other people. You own you. You control what you do. You cannot expect to sit around and wait for others to make you successful. That’s not how this industry works. Find what you want to do and do it. Don’t wait for companies to hire you. Don’t wait for approval from anyone. Just fucking do it.

Nobody cares about your success more than you, so why on earth are you not doing anything about it? 

Sydney Screams: Fetish Model, Clip Producer, Adult Actress, Radio Talk Show Host

So You Wanna Be A Pro-Domme

So you’re thinking about getting into sex work and working as a Pro-Domme? You’ve always been interested or rather fascinated  in the  mysterious and alluring fetish world and have spent more then a few evenings in your local fetish and goth clubs checking everything out and you know you’d just be great at Dominating men for fat stacks of easy money. It’s not as easy as you think and many hopefuls have gotten nowhere fast by not thinking it through. Here are somethings to remember if you think being a Dominatrix is in your future.

1.  Have skill

Being a Domme is more then just looking good in latex, you need to have actual skill. Take a mental inventory of your abilities and be honest. It’s best not to offer strict shabari bondage or suspension if you don’t know what the fuck you are doing. If you are great at trash talking then maybe mental domination is your thing, if you have amazing flexible feet then think about foot fetish, if you have experience in OTK spanking then do that. Remember the goal might be to cause pain or discomfort but you never want to cause harm. If you don’t feel you have fetish skills in your arsenal to hang out a shingle then its time to invest in some classes, they exist!

2. Look good

One of the big turn on for clients is the look of the Dominatrix he’s seeing. It doesn’t mean you have to have a perfect body, or a 50K wardrobe but you should be pulled together ad have a few things to wear in sessions that make you look amazing and intimidating. Maybe your speciality is OTK spanking then you might want to cultivate a 1950’s  headmistress look, think about what your offering and think about how that should translate into your Dominatrix persona.

3.  Getting the client off

Lets just admit it, clients go see a Domme because it turns them on. What ever their predilection is it’s because they get a sexual charge out of it and they want to get off to whatever that is. Now how this happens is totally up to you and you should know your boundaries going into it. Most clients jerk themselves off towards the end of the session at the direction of the Domme.  Some Dommes offer strap on services (fucking your client in the ass with a dildo, yeah that is prostitution) I know you heard  that being a Dominatrix meant no sex and you’ve read all the hundreds of disclaimers on many a Dommes website saying they are not prostitutes.  Though I do know of a Domme or two who will actually fuck their clients most don’t offer intercourse, many never even take their shinny latex clothes off.   Almost all allow their clients to get off in one way or another because seeing a dominatrix is a sexual experience. It’s up to you to chose how far your willing to go. Remember to protect yourself if you decide to offer more sexually based services. Person to person contact will almost always put you in the same realm as escorts by law enforcement and you need to take precautions

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, former GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer and Hypno-Domme