If you are a sex worker then you’ve experienced “The Haggler” All sex workers deal with him at one point or another no matter what your discipline. Sex workers see more than their fair share of guys looking to get what ever it is they offer on the cheap. I would venture the see more people looking for discounts then used car salesmen. It can be frustrating, it can be insulting, it can be offensive or it can just be annoying like a gnat circling your head on a hot day. In any event dealing with them and not letting it effect both your bottom line and your mental and emotional well being is important. Here are a few different kinds of hagglers out there on the prowl and strategies for dealing with them when they pop up in your inbox.
1. The birthday haggler
“It’s my birthday can I get a discount?” This one always befuddles me why should I care that its someone I don’t knows birthday. It happens all the time though, this haggler is always trying to angle for a discount be it his real birthday or not. You can always say polity, “as it says on my site/profile/blog/ i do not offer discounts” Or you can ask him what kind of discount he’s looking for. Say your rate is 600 and then haggler in question wants to see you but pay 400 thats a 200 dollar discount hes looking for. This person is asking you to buy him a 200 dollar birthday present and you you are not friends/family/business associates. You are a stranger and he would like you to give him 200 dollars. Point this out and maybe he will see the error of his ways.
2. I will write you a good review
This guy is ever present. Hes they guy that thinks because he talks a lot on a message board or two that that give him some kind of special status and hes always looking to trade that special status he thinks he has for a little discounted nookie. The implication is of course that because he is a big man on campus (in his own mind) that if you decline his haggling offer he will do the opposite of write you a good review. This guy is also under the impression that his one good review will bring you a shit ton more business. In fact that might have been true 10 years ago but the review game has changed a lot and sometimes they have such little effect on your business (and life) that people don’t even know that they have a new anything online because there is no spike to web hits, let alone phone calls or bookings. This one is best handled carefully as his personal ego is invested in the discount he’s trying to scam you out of. Best to just polity decline or ignore him entirely
3. I will become a regular.
The first thing you have to know about this guy is that he wont become a regular. This tactic is just the carrot he’s trying to dangle in front of you. If you he liked you enough to be a regular he would have already seen you and would be well on his way to booking more frequent and longer appointments. This guy will only see you once for the discount and if he ever did book again he’d expect that to be discounted as well. I usually tell this guy when he IS a regular then we can talk about discounted rates or extended appointment price breaks.
4. You’re not worth the price.
This intimidation come on pretty much never works. No girl in her right mind is going to come back with “yes i am, lets do it for cheap and i’ll prove it to you” Though that is the hagglers one true wish. Usually this guy has anger issues as well and lets face who wants to deal with that guy alone in a hotel room. Not I. Avoid at all costs.
5. Other girls are cheaper.
Pitting providers against each other is a common tactic though it usually doesn’t work well. To be a provider you have to already have a lot of self confidence, when you sell sex you’re really putting yourself out there. So trying the old “but so and so is cheaper” really is a weak come on. I generally tell him that my rates are my rates and that he should book time with someone in his price range and to have a nice day.
6. I’m too poor.
This is the opposite approach to you’re not worth the price. This guy cant afford you and he shouldn’t be wasting your time with the old cry poor come on. There are girls at every price point he can find someone he likes in his range. Trying to make you feel sorry for the sad state of his wallet is well sad and pathetic. There are lots of things I can not afford and I cant imagine a time I went to my favorite 5 star restaurant and begged for a discount cuz it was out of my price range. Yeah that never happens. I usually point that fact out to him.
The haggler takes many forms and he will often come back at you time and time again. You can not control that the only think you can control is your reaction to it. There are days when you are going to want to rip them up one side and down the other but its important to pick your battles, if you can find a way to polity decline its usually best, ignoring them and sending their inquiry to the circular file is also a good way to go. Once an a while a scathing email retort cant be helped. I’ve done it more times then i care to admit, ive also felt the backlash from lashing out in frustration at a haggler. Do your best to keep it civil and your mental health and blood pressure will both thank you for it.
Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, former GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer and Hypno-Domme