Tag Archives: Internet

Escort Safety in the age of SESTA – From Harlot Advocate

Congress did it, 97-2 they fucked escorts in the name of human trafficking. Trafficking hysteria has captured to minds of our elected officials, once again. All except for Ron Wyden and Ron fucking Paul.

I’m going to try to collect all the best advice I  can to help escorts stay safe with this new law that is waiting the Orange resident of the oval offices signature.

First up is from: @HarlotAdvocate   On Twitter.

I don’t personally know her… BUT shes got some real solid, reasonable advice on how to be safer.  Her Step by Step Guide on  how to stay safe if advertising avenues are shut down. As seen on Twitter and posted here, with her permission.

1. Commit an entire day from your calendar to follow these steps. Then bring a bucket of green tea, water, coffee, a bottle of two of wine to set the mood cause it’s a lot of work.

2. Log into your current email & start to organize.. Listing in this order the A) The Contributors/Providers States.
B) Which Contributors/Providers Have Been Seen & Safe.
C) Which Contributors Are Just PreScreened.
D) Who is Professional.
E) Who Is Not.
F) Who is Blocked.

3. Open 2 Proton Mail Accounts.
A) One for professional business name.
B) Second for recovery email.

Or use the amazing @SafeOffice because they are literally that awesome!

4. After you have organized your original professional email into those folders… Transfer that information them over to the new professional email accounts I have listed above that you have made for yourself.

5. Yes it is a ton of work but trust me your email and organizing is your absolute best option for maintaining clients & contributor relationships.
“If it’s based overseas you are good to go.”

6. Make an announcement to the clients that you are closing your old email accounts associated within wonderful USA & if you so choose send them to your new email address.

7. Drink whatever you need, bathroom breaks were not done.

8. Go to each of your advertisement platforms that are based in the US and remove any and all special keywords that can be associated with sex work. Such as uncheck that incall/outcall, roses, gfe girlfriend etc, pricing unless on your website.

9. Treat each US based advertising platform as a profile for strictly dating.. Like think your looking for a breath taking “dating profile.” Keep that thought, and write your content appropriately.

10. (missing in the line up)

11. Go on your twitter and social platforms and clean house. Remove anything and everything that can or will be perceived as a worker verses a dating profile. This included comments, DM messages, paid profile links, etc that allude to worker status verses dating status.

12. Contributors This Is For You.
No MORE DMs.. You need to approach only through email… That’s it.. Do not waste a dating profiles time when you are just seeking an emotional connection.. This puts them at risk. Stop it and keep it professional.

13. Girls with phones…. We all have them or used too. DO NOT USE YOUR PERSONAL PHONE FOR ANY WORK PURPOSES. You have two phones for two reasons you do not ever mix the two. One is for booking dating spots, one is for checking your grocery lists.

14. Girls with phones.. USE A VPN AT ALL TIMES. Keep it on the minute that phone is on and the minute that phone is off. That simple! Your preferred form of contact should always be email, from the new email you have provided.

15. When posting photo pictures from your cell phone.. Keep that VPN ON. Make sure you always always screenshot at least 5-6 times, zooming in, and posting it then.

16. Providers DO NOT POST cell phone pictures from the hotel you are staying at unless there is nothing that identifies that room. Still for me personally it’s a huge no no hence I don’t do it.

17. Providers & Contributors quit tagging the location where you are at while you are still there. That is just blatantly putting it out there!

18. Discretion is key to staying busy. Supporting one another is the key to keeping safe. Avoid the drama like the plague. Follow all my steps listed above and you will be good to go!

There you have it folks. I know its a lot of work, you know whats more work? Trying to get out on bail for a federal crime or trying to make rent with no job. 

Stay Safe Ladies….

Helpful links:

Safe Office:  https://safeoffice.com/lp/

What is a VPN: https://www.techradar.com/news/what-is-a-vpn

Burner Phones: https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/columnist/saltzman/2016/09/17/whats-a-burner-phone/90382874/

SWOP: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_Workers_Outreach_Project_USA

How to find your government reps: https://whoismyrepresentative.com/

ACLU: https://www.aclu.org/


Shadow Banning On Twitter

The term is tossed around a lot in sex work circles. I’m shadow banned! RT me because I’m Shadow banned! Help I’m Shadow banned Twitter hates sex workers! This explainer should help you if you feel you might be shadow banned on Twitter.

What is shadow banning on Twitter?

When you suddenly discover that your tweets are not reaching anyone other then your direct followers, you don’t come up in searches and your twitter feed cant be found in general. It’s still there but its as if your account has somehow been limited. You may have been shadow banned. There are shadow ban checkers but they are unreliable. If you think you have been banned you might have been. This is not a sex worker phenomenon many people get shadow banned. Beauty bloggers and You-tubers are hit especially hard. So that’s a strange mix right? Sex workers, beauty bloggers? But there is a method to this madness, there’s a reason those kinds of accounts get shadow banned more then others and don’t worry its possible to get yourself un-banned.

How did you get shadow banned

The easy answer is you look like spam to Twitter.  Twitter is a small company. They a staffed really low. Its not like the old days when you could get @Jack to email you back (yes, that used to happen) Tons of things are automated now and one of these things is a spam algorithm. So that’s the first thing you need to know. The second is how Twitter is accountable to its shareholders. Twitter is publicly held they are also very unprofitable and rely on a lot of VC investment. Twitter’s metric for profitability is “user accounts”. So the more Twitter user accounts, the better twitter looks when measuring this very important metric. This is also one of the reasons that Twitter wont do anything about Russian Bots but that’s another story. To delete those accounts would drastically reduce the number of user accounts. Same thing with accounts that trip their spam filter. Twitter doesn’t want to delete spam because they need that user account but they also don’t want spam to take over its platform and essentially ruin for lack of a better term user experiences.

Enter the spam filter that can get you shadow banned, its because you look like spam. You tweet like a spammer not a real live human. This happens to sex workers a lot because lets face, it were heavy promoters. Just like beauty bloggers and you tubers. See now there’s that connection i was talking about. Twitter isn’t targeting you because you’re a sex worker, they think you are spam. I get how that’s an easy conclusion to jump to since social media is often made inaccessible to sex workers but Twitter is actually one of the few social media platforms that doesn’t discriminate against us. I know color me shocked.

Steps to take to get un-shadow banned

You can get un-banned but it takes a commitment to changing how you tweet. You need to tweet like a human being and not a promotion machine. Some simple steps…

  1.  Keep your promotion tweets to approximately  20% of your feed.
  2.  Use auto tweets sparingly. (especially since they are promo tweets)
  3.  Don’t over hashtag. One or two targeted hash tags work better then 100 anyways
  4. Be careful who you retweet. If you are RTing  banned people or known spam accounts you could in turn get banned yourself.
  5.  RT with commentary some of the time when you RT people, add to the conversation
  6.  Interact with people on Twitter be a “good twitter citizen” engage
  7.  Not every tweet needs a link and a hastag. Again, think human being

If you take these steps and change how you tweet in 72 hours you will see your feed be searchable and your tweets will be able to be  located. Now you have to keep this new tweeting style up, of you don’t you will just get banned again and have to start all over and its possible tripping the filer a lot could get you a permanent shadow ban or extend your time to get un-banned. No one wants that.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, Hypno-Domme and former GFE Escort
Follow Jenny DeMilo on Twitter





SEO for Adult Websites

Adult SEOIts imperative that you work on your SEO (search engine optimization) if you own a website. When you have an adult website you have to work twice as hard at your SEO to get half as far. It’s something that’s easy to neglect but you shouldn’t.  Google is always changing their algorithm and in the process your SEO will bounce around. Just when you are where you want to be WHAM Google switches something up and you’re two steps back. Stay on top of your SEO game and spend a little time every month or week or day whatever you can and polish up your SEO.  Google says they don’t penalize adult sites and that we are all on an even playing field. If you believe that I have a bridge to sell you in some prime swamp land real cheap.

With that being said here are a few easy ways to start working on your Adult website SEO. Remember there are 100 ways to skin a cat, so find some things that work for you and work at it. Having your site in the top 10 search  returns with your preferred keyword on Google will make a huge difference to you bottom line. Its a numbers game the more people who see your site, the more options you have for making money and it is after all, all about the money.

  1. NEVER USE BLACK HAT TECHNIQUES:  Lots of adult websites over the years have resorted to black hat techniques in trying to get their websites ranked higher. This is not a long term strategy. Sure you might get a few gains but those gains will be short lived and short term and you will get penalized eventually. That is much harder and longer road to return from.  Use traditional “white hat” SEO techniques. Remember SEO takes time. Invest it, It’s worth it.
  2.  LINK EXCHANGE: You have to do link exchanges with trusted sites. Start with colleagues/competitors in the same niche, I know this seems counter intuitive  “If I link competitors my potential customer might go to them instead of me” Sure that’s possible but the benefits from links from a trusted  site outweighs the possible loss or sharing of a customer or two. Remember you want MANY eyeballs on your site. Having a high domain authority and many backlinks helps you get higher in google’s rank.  Lots of colleagues and competitors will balk at this but keep working at it.  It benefits you both, smart people will know that or understand it. Oh and don’t be a dick and bury their link that’s not cool.
  3. DOMAIN AUTHORITY, PAGE AUTHORITY AND  BACKLINKS: Use a DA/PA checker and start tracking your work. A few good back links can raise your domain authority a couple points in a day. Also use a back-link checker to see who your competition is linked to. Get linked to those places too. There’s some debate as to NF (no follow) or F (follow) links and which is better to have. Sure you want follow links, but don’t count out NF links from high ranking sites. I wouldn’t spend all your time on them but don’t count them all out completely.
  4.  INTERLINK YOUR CONTENT: Help google to index your site quickly by interlinking your content. Don’t go hog wild but a couple links on some key blog posts or where a customer can find additional content they might like on your site helps.

Bonus: Check your website speed (you want it fast and so does Google) and make sure your site is mobile friendly. These two things really do matter and they are mattering more and more every time Google updates how they rank sites.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, Hypno-Domme and former GFE Escort
Follow Jenny DeMilo on Twitter



What I learned from getting WordPress hacked

It happened. I got WordPress hacked. It was a huge nightmare. Many of my sites were infected. It got so bad that no only did i have to delete a handful of sites but several of my sites got listed with Google as a site that hosts maleware and I was put in Google jail until i could fix the issue. WordPress hacks are very common now, a lot more then just a few years ago. I did what anyone would do when facing a problem like this, I called my webhost in hopes of  figuring out the damage really was and a path forward to solve the problem.  Sadly my hosting company had been sold to a giant conglomerate and no longer will put in any kind of support ticket for any kind of security issue. So I dropped them like a hot fucking potato after being with them for 8 years and found a company who would not only host me but helped me clean my compromised sites . During this process I learned some basic things that anyone with a WordPress site can do to help keep the hackers at bay.

  1. keep your WordPress version up to date. You would think this is a no brainer, its not. Do it keep it up to date. When you get that email saying theres a new version of WordPress. UPDATE! Its likely got a fix for a known vulnerability. This will save your ass.

2. Keep all your plugins up to date and delete ones you’re not using. Have plugins you tried out but then thought eh… delete them. you don’t need them sitting there inviting hackers to play with your wordpress back-end. Keep all the plugins you do like up to date and fresh.

3. Delete any only themes you’re not using. Say buhbye to all those themes you tested out and though, yuck. You dont need them and they also can be a way in for hackers.

4. Keep your theme up to date. If you have a theme thats is never updated time to find a new one. This is a very common way hackers can bust into your site. You want to stay with a theme that updates.

5. Wordfence. Install it ( its free) and run regular scans. Its a serious life saver.

6. Find a hosting company with good tech support. Not all companies will help you if you get hacked. I learned this the hard way, most of my sites were off line for a full week and I spent countless hours  the phone arguing with my ass-clown hosting company (cough Hostgator cough) getting nowhere fast. Whoever you host with should be able to in the very least help you sort out whats going on, give you some guidance on how to handle it moving forward and in some cases actually help you fix the issue.

7. Change your passwords. You have to change your passwords to something hard to break. Do not use anything with words in it, make it a mix of special characters and capitals and it should be long. I know how will you ever remember it? You wont. Write it down, use a password manager and suck it up. Passwords are so easy to hack now its not even funny.

None of this will guarantee you wont get hacked but its a good step forward and some of the better WordPress practices you can employ. Its better to take the precautions then to pick up the frustrating pieces of being WordPress hacked.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, Hypno-Domme and former GFE Escort

Follow Jenny DeMilo on Twitter

Do The Math

back-to-school-retro-school-classroom-1408441525-view-0If you’re new to escorting or even if you’re not new sometimes its hard to tell what it is you really need to have to make money. As an independent escort it your own business and as with all business it takes money to make money. You can cut down on some of those costs by putting in a little time into figuring out what you really need to spend your money on and what you don’t. Making sure in the process to get value for money. Website: Though you don’t need a website to be an escort, it’s probably a good idea to get one.  Having a website shows some measure of legitimacy. If you are a little web savvy you can put up your own site. If not there are people who can do that for you. What they charge will vary far and wide. What you will get for that money will also vary. You should think carefully about what it is you want and what you are willing to pay to get it. A simple site works just as well as a very complicated site with all the bells and whistles. If you hire a web person to make you a site who does a lot of escort sites, make sure to do what you can to make your site look unique. You don’t want to look like everyone else. Your site should reflect you. Think about it from your client side, he’s weeding though a lot of sites and though a lot of potential escorts. Stand out! Oh and for gods sake if you put up your own site pay for your own hosting and a domain name. Don’t use a free site thats asking for trouble. Many are not adult friendly and you run the risk of waking up one day and your sites been deleted.

Photography: Every escort needs photos. Photos are going to sell you to potential clients more then anything else you do. Think about what image you want to project. Are you sweet and young? Are you dominating and fierce?  Are you quirky and alternative? What ever your assets are you want to project those in your photos.  Don’t just hire the dude who shoots all the hookers. What that is going to get you is your photos will look like all the other hookers photos. Hire someone you’re comfortable with (lots of creepy dudes with cameras out there), that you can trust (especially if you don’t show your face), who will design a shoot that is unique to you. Get references from other women in the business. Really look at someones portfolio. If they have 100 photos of skinny girls in lingerie and you’re fuller figured then that’s not your guy. If all they have to show are photos of white girls and you are a different shade then thats not your guy. If their portfolios are filled with pictures of landscapes and puppies then id think twice about spending your hard earned cash on that guy. Make sure they can do what it is you want and that they aren’t just putting up their lucky shots. Remember its easy to make a model… look like a model. Prices will also vary a lot so shop around.  If an average shoot in your area with a sex worker friendly photographer is 300 bucks and that gets you a set of usable retouched photos, then what should you get for a 1200 shoot? Also remember that as an escort you need to get new photos often, keep that in mind so when you are budgeting for shoots.You will need to do at least one shoot a year and you probably should do two.

Video: This is a thing now and frankly I don’t know why. Oh I know why some “clients” might like them. These are the same guys who can’t pull the trigger unless a girls got 500 reviews. But video isn’t necessary. It’s not a thing you need to have to work, even at the high end. Anyone that tells you that is selling something.  Does everyone need to have a Victoria Secrets style video to promote herself? The short answer is no.

Advertising: This is something you will need to invest in and put in some trail and error. Not all advertising works for all girls. Your BFF might really get a lot of work off a site that you get nothing off of. People in New York might pay for ads on a site that works, while in Detroit that same site will suck for bringing in clients. There is not rhyme or reason to it. The best thing you can do is set yourself a monthly advertising budget and then see what works for you. Try different things one at a time, then measure the success. Make sure you track hits to your website and ask your clients where they saw your ad. Not all of them will remember and some will get it wrong but absent of a customer satisfaction survey its the best you have to measure whats working. Also think of non traditional advertising venues like review boards, screening sites and social media.

Putting a little thought and time into determining what it is you need then adding up what that will cost is the best thing you can do for your business. You don’t need a ton of money but you should be setting some aside for these types of things. Do the math. Lots of people out there are looking to take advantage of you because they think you are rolling in escort dough and if you are new there are people who will tell you you need all the things and you can buy them from them of course. Be smart, be skeptical and don’t get taken advantage of.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, Hypno-Domme and former GFE Escort

Follow Jenny DeMilo on Twitter