Sex workers tried to warn you. I know I’ve been screaming about it on Twitter and I’m not the only one. Sex workers are always the canaries in the coal mines. They come for use first and so many just sit on the sidelines and think it will never happen to them.. it always does. SESTA/FOSTA fucked us as a group it greatly limited our abilities to stay safe ( though we are a resourceful bunch) and now you are all fucked as well with the new THERE IS NO PRIVACY majority on the Supreme Court.
Get ready for the new surveillance state. Its coming and we told you so. A little light reading.
An assistant is just that someone to assist you with your daily tasks, in hookerland this means; phones, emails and screening. Over the past 2 years I’ve had the pleasure of using a fabulous assistant when I needed a little extra help on tour. However I’ve been lucky. Many escorts run into serious issues with the assistant they have hired or or fired. Extortion, blackballing, public outings and client black booking are just a few of the issues. I’m hoping with the advice here you are able to find your perfect assistant.
1. No one knows ho business like a ho
You should only hire a retired escort. She knows first hand what can happen if screening isn’t up to par (like jail or death) Your everyday person isn’t going to know how or where to begin screening your potential clients or how to spot a potential issue.
2. A great assistant will never pretend to be you.
How sketchy would it be to talk to someone on the phone then meet them later in the day, their voice is different and they can’t recall what you talked about? You’d head straight for the door if this happened. You’re a busy professional, you’ve hired help, show it off. Be up front on your website and ads about having an assistant. This should nip any confusion in the butt.
In our world reputation is everything! Any assistant you are interested in hiring should provide you with references of current or former employers. Do not accept the “client confidentiality” BS. I will gladly vouch for my former assistant via email or phone anytime she needs me to. I suggest you email the references and ask for a little phone time as well asking questions like, how long services were used, what was provided, any issues, any areas that could use improvement, client opinions of the assistant and why they’re no longer using the services.
NEVER EVER pay an assistant a percentage of your income or a fee per booking, this gives incentive to cut corners and take risks to make more money. As a general rule of thumb you should pay your hourly rate per week. Industry average is $400 per week. If you can’t afford that you need a new business plan not an assistant.
5. Services Provided
This is never the same from assistant to assistant. First determine what you need. For myself it was phone help as I loath talking on the phone but why not take advantage of a package deal when offered? Phones, emails, screening, booking, travel arrangements, check in/out, the possibilities are endless.
Finding the right assistant isn’t easy and it shouldn’t be. You are entrusting someone with your well being and safety not just getting a little extra phone help. Be smart about it, chose carefully, think though all the possible ramifications and potential pitfalls. The extra time it takes to make a smart decision is well worth the effort.
Hopefully you ask for references before you see a client. This practice is fairly common among escorts, and for some reason less so among pro-Dommes. Another field of sex work that it SHOULD be common in is modeling or porn. It’s easy to tell who a producer or photographer has worked with, because their faces will be all over their portfolio. If you’re not sure, ask them! You probably won’t be the first, and it shouldn’t come as a surprise to them. In fact, many of them will offer a list of references on their website.
Here’s the important part. CHECK THEM.
It’s easy. Shoot the reference a quick email, phone call, text, tweet, whatever you have to get in contact with them. Here’s a sample message:
“Hi, I’m Lauren. I saw you worked with x and just wanted to know how your experience was? Thanks!”
Send out a couple of those to people whose work you like and respect. And you’ll not only get some ins and respect from other people in the industry, but you’ll get a good idea of what it’s like to work with or session with that person. Even if it’s something as simple as “he’s great, but always 20 minutes late” then you won’t be stressed when you’re waiting. The more information you have, the better of a position you’ll be in.
Don’t worry about bothering anyone or taking up their time. The worst they can do is not respond. And it could save you from harmful situations. This industry can be surprisingly small, and reputations are built or hurt very quickly.
It’s sad, but there are people who will want to work with you who will hurt you. Some of them don’t care about safety precautions. Some of them will take advantage of you, especially if you’re new. And some of them are just fucking assholes. You don’t HAVE to go through any of that. There is no prescribed rite-of-whore-passage regarding bad clients or shady producers. Checking references may create a few moments of social awkwardness, but it can help avoid a much more harmful situation.
Besides – I think we need to create a culture where sex workers watch out for one another. I think that aspect of the community is deeply important. None of the people I’ve worked with have minded giving references, on either side of the equation. And public interactions on the internet don’t count. Check your references privately and personally. You’ll get a more accurate picture.
References don’t always spell doom either. It’s much more exciting going to work when you know it’s going to be pleasant and fun.
References are not a foolproof system for a lot of reasons. But if you talk to people you trust, at least trust professionally, you can generally get a lot of good information. And more information gives you more control over just about any situation.