Tag Archives: community

Escorting, Marketing, Sex Work

4 things you can do when your advertising venue disappears

Panic!You woke up one morning to find the main place, your go to advertising venue, where you advertised for your escort business has suddenly disappeared. It’s gone, vanished, poof… into the mist! It’s normal to feel panic when something like this happens to you and it does happen. It happens more often than people think. You don’t know what to do. How will you make a living? What options do you have to advertise? How will you eat and keep a roof over your head. Before you do anything drastic like walk the streets and put yourself into harms way or see un-screened possibly unsafe clients take a deep breath, a big step back and think.  There are always other options available to you. One website isn’t the end all be all in escort advertising even if that website had a bit of a monopoly on the local market. There are other ways, other options in how to make things work for you and your escort business. You just have to find them.

1. Find new advertising

Hopefully you didn’t have all your eggs in one advertising basket. Sometimes though there is only one good place to advertise in a city or rather one place that has all the business. If you find that place isn’t there any longer then it’s time to find a new advertising venue. Google your city +escorts or any combination there of and look at all the new possible places for you to put up an ad. If the old place that no longer exists was free to advertise and everything else costs then time to pay up. Welcome to the big leagues, the real world where you have to invest in your business. Its called the cost of doing business and its now time to step up your game. You want to chose wisely, don’t go giving your hard earned cash over to just anyone. Do some homework, pick a new place, pay for an ad and most of all, track your results. If it doesn’t work then dump it and try a different one. Try the high end glossy website with expensive ads, try the down and dirty classified ad style site. See what works for you. Be aware that everyone else who used that site is also looking for new advertising too and keep that in the back of your mind while you pick out some new places to advertise. The worlds oldest profession isn’t going go away just because one website is gone. That business will migrate somewhere else, you just have to find it. If your regular advertising site went away because of government interference, your potential clients might be a little gun shy as well and not want to come out to play until things calm down, so maybe the next option is better suited for you.

2. Tour

Get the hell out of dodge for a while, try something new. Go to a new town and make a killing. Turn adversity into profit. Chose your city wisely, don’t go where 100 other girls are all flocking to because they are in the same position as you are. Check out some possible 2nd tier cities or maybe even 3rd tier. Be creative hit a few different places or find one and stick to it and turn in into a working vacation. Odds are you need a vacation anyways.

3. Network with other sex workers

Ask your peers what they are doing to weather this storm. Other sex workers can often be your best resource. Don’t copy them outright though or you might find that you no longer get any support or guidance from them. Ask them how they are handling the change, see if you can glean any insight. You might find their answers enlightening.

4.  Try other kinds of work

Always wanted to give exotic dancing a try? Nows your chance! How about looking into web-camming or of you’re really bold look into acting in some adult films. None of that appeals to you? Then how about looking for a real job (provided you don’t already have one) dust off the resume and see what the big bad world has to offer you. It doesn’t have to be forever and no you wont get paid hundreds of dollars an hour but you might make enough to keep  roof over your head and the lights on for a while until you figure out your next steps.

It can be a scary thing when something you’ve come to rely such as advertising on is suddenly gone. It can and does happen from time to time, this is good reason to diversify your options moving forward. Never put all your eggs in one basket because this business is ever changing, always under attack and you don’t want to find yourself in a tight spot when then change hits you or your city.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, Hypno-Domme and former GFE Escort

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Internet, Marketing

Putting Content Marketing To Work As a Sex Worker

content-marketing-wheelContent marketing is the method of using your expertise to attract potential clients. Usually, content marketing involves maintaining a blog that acts as a “how to” regarding industry related questions, and is by no means a fast pay off. Content marketing has shown great success in industries ranging from real estate to finances to homemaking skills (why do you think celebrity cooks have top selling cookbooks and popular, make reservations weeks in advance restaurants?). That’s great, but what does that mean for us sex workers, and should we be putting it to work?

I don’t know about you lot, but I’m flooded by emails and twitter @’s asking for advice regularly on how to get started and how to do X, Y or Z. I mean, hello, this blog exists for a reason!! Personally, I hate writing 101’s for people when I had to figure things out on my own years ago when even fewer resources existed out there. There’s a very natural mindset that exists within some of us about not wanting to share our secrets with our competitors, especially when they’re complete strangers.

But, here’s the thing.

Sharing secrets is working in other industries. There is no reason to believe that content marketing wouldn’t work for sex workers either. Many of us already maintain blogs or tumblrs or twitters, and even more of us tout that we’re experts or the “go to” gal or guy for whatever our specialty is. So why aren’t we proving it? If your online reviews call you queen of the bj, maybe it’s time you write a blog about what you do that make your blowjobs so special. Or if your feet are a sought after commodity, share what your day to day routine is for keeping them in perfect condition.

The idea behind content marketing isn’t to share 100% of the secrets or tips. The idea is to show that we know what we’re doing, and that we’re the best at what we do. This is especially vital now that Google+ has teamed up with WordPress and other online publishing sites to link it back to your Google+ profile (with your profile photo by the link, which gives you extra credibility). Why’s that important since less than 1/4 of Google+ profiles are active? 1-it makes plagiarism a bit harder. 2-it will improve your Google ranking. 3-if you don’t want to be higher in Google ranking, there’s something wrong with you.

Let’s face it; vanilla marketing trends are just as relevant for us as they are for the outside world. Ignoring them isn’t something any of us can afford to do, so put those blogs, tumblrs, twitters and youtube channels to work!!

Sydney Screams: Fetish Model, Clip Producer, Adult Actress, Radio Talk Show Host

Community, Self Care

I Can Tell That We Are Going To Be Friends

lovewhoreIt’s about to get real kumbaya in here. Roll your eyes all you want, but I stand by this.

Make friends with other sex workers. And make your friends a priority.

This will do more than save your sanity, it will improve your life immeasurably.

Most other jobs have some sort of workplace socialization or at the very least, interactions with your colleagues, in place. But sex work can be lonely, isolating, and confusing. Not only do people outside the industry not understand what you do for work, but they have preconceived notions and judgments to work through as well. And those friends are lovely and valuable as well.

But sometimes you need to be around people who intimately understand the work part of your life. You need to vent and bitch about work without having to explain yourself. You need to celebrate small successes along the way that your colleagues can relate to. You need to be able to laugh about your job.

Your friends will help keep you grounded and keep things in perspective. And that happens not just because they’re there for you, but because you give back to them. Listening to others’ stories and challenges within the sex industries can be powerful lessons.

I throw the words “solidarity” and “community” around a lot. But the places I’ve found them to be strongest have been through my friendships with other sex workers.

It’s not always in the grand gestures (though sometimes it is that too). It’s having drinks and laughing together about an absurd session. It’s crying on their shoulders when the internalized ho-shame crashes down on you for no reason. It’s listening sympathetically to them rage when they accidentally stumble on an anti-sex work blog and hate read it all morning.

It’s dreaming up a website to combat all the bad advice out there over margaritas. And then making it happen.

Naturally, I think that if sex workers had more resources to come together, support each other, and combine forces, we could solve a good deal of the worlds’ problems. I also think that we can start working on all that over brunch with copious amounts of muffins and champagne. That’s sort of the cornerstone of my politics.

Not convinced? Oh fine, you selfish bitch.

Making friends is a good business decision too. You fans will think it’s cool and sexy when you tweet photos of yourself hanging out with porn stars. You’ll learn about new kinks from your pro-Domme buddies. And you’ll have a wider network of people you can trust to work doubles with.

Not to mention you get to see your hot friends in sexy clothes… or no clothes… on a regular basis.

Be a good person. Be good to your communities. Be good to other sex workers.

Don’t be this asshole. These assholes don’t get invitations to the next Ho’ Down BBQ Picnic.

 

Lauren Kiley: Webcam Girl, Fetish Performer, Fetish Clip Producer, Former Escort, Activist, Dirty Girl Next Door.

Escorting, Pro Domme, Self Care, Sex Work

Never tell clients your real name

Never tell your clients your real name. This would seem like a no brainer right? Well it’s sadly not. Even I have made this terrible mistake and it yes, it has comeback to bite me in the ass. It bears repeating often and over and over…never give your clients your real name. They always ask, they want to be the special one you trust enough to give your real identity to. Don’t be tempted, don’t fall into the trap of the false sense of security that because you are sharing intimate time with a client that you can trust them and share your name too. You can’t. The self proclaimed hobbyists who review escorts on websites are the worst, they share your name and info like 12 year olds trading baseball cards. Don’t fall prey to the old line about how they had to give you screening info so its only fair you tell them who you are. That is a trap you will have to chew your own paw off to escape.

We come up with stage names to protect ourselves. No matter how comfortable we are with what we do the outside world is still very hard on us and the stigma of being a sex worker is very strong. Once a whore always a whore and no matter how many years pass and how many things you’ve done since you will always be branded a whore by certain groups and people. Keep your identity close to the vest so that you can control the outcome of your life and not be outed by some petty, small, person who has a need to punish you for the choices you make.

There are some things you can do to protect yourself if you’re one of those people who has a hard time telling men you’re getting naked with no. Or you would rather not deal with the whole reasonable conversation where they get all butt hurt when you tell them your very valid reasons for not wanting to share your identity with a man who’s paying you for sex. You can create a back story, you have to think of yourself as an onion with many layers. What you need is a fake real name! Something that sounds normal and plain and most of all you can REMEMBER it. Just as you create your sex worker persona, create the fake real you. Know where the fake you went to college, what state the fake you grew up in, a few small intimate details about the fake you that you can easily tell on the fly when you get cornered about who you really are.

I know it seems like a lot to do and a lot to remember but it will become second nature and it will  save you heartache and headache in the long run if you can rattle off  a few convincing details who who you “really” are.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer and Hypno-Domme

Clips, Internet, Marketing, Sex Work

DMCA Do It!

We all hate it when people steal from us. Make your living on the internet or advertise your sex work business on it and you can bet at some point someone will share your files or  steal your photos. It’s depressing and it can seem overwhelming to stay of top of the details of protecting your content but its worth the effort. This is how you make a living and I know it feels like  you’re playing whack-a-mole and you are. It’s a never ending process protecting your content but its part of doing business. Protecting your cash flow matters. I put together a little introduction to protecting your work, I hope you find it helpful.

Send out DMCA take down notices

This is the best thing you do. Send out a DMCA take down notice. Send them out and send them out as soon as you find out your file is being shared on some dirt bag file sharing site or as soon as you find out some body is pretending to be you by using your photos online.  My pal Johnathan over at Plagiarism Today has some stock letters you can use when sending out your notices. In fact read his whole site, there is a lot of great info there.  Remember every site has their own special requirements for a DMCA notice and if you don’t meet them they will ignore your notice. Read their policy and give them the info they want, in the way they want it. Be it email, fax or snail mail. Make sure to include your name address and phone number (I use my Google voice number and my working address) Tell them you are the copyright holder and give them the links they need to remove the content. It’s tedious and annoying but stay on it and send them out, it works. Don’t forget to follow up and send them a second or third or 50th notice if they don’t take action.

Monitor your content

Goggle yourself, set up alerts for your name (remember to include misspellings of your name) and check it all the time. A lot of the time I find out a file is being shared because a fan tells me. I always reward them with a little something for looking out for me, they can be your best resource for finding out your files are being shared. You can also hire a company to monitor your content for you, but that can be expensive. I would do a cost benefit analysis before I went that route, make sure its worth the money you are spending on it. Sometime it is, sometimes its better to do it yourself.

Watermark your content and embed your copyright

I admit it, I’m guilty of not always doing this, especially when I first started out. But don’t make the same mistake I made in the beginning and watermark your shit! It’s important. You can also embed your copyright when creating a Mp3 and add it to the hidden data on your photos. Again it’s time consuming and annoying but make it part of your habit, when you are creating content. Watermark like it’s second nature. Not only is having your watermark good for driving people who might see your stuff somewhere and drive them back to your site to find out more about you, but you can use that in case you get into a fight with some turd site who doesn’t want to remove your content from their site.

People stealing is always going to be a problem but its worth the time and effort to stay on top of your content. I wouldn’t suggest getting into a pissing match with any of these file sharing sites or boards, just do what you need to do behind the scenes. It’s not worth a loud messy frustrating fight or possibly putting a troll target on your back, but it it worth the effort. Make it.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer, Phone Sex Operator and Hypno-Domme.