Category Archives: Sex Work

Escorting, Sex Work

Escort support services and staying above the fray

broken-trustEscort support services. Some are needed, others are looking to rip you off. Some you love, others you quite frankly hate. They are often a necessary evil when you’re an escort (or any sex worker really) They are your advertising venues, your photographers, your screening and safety services, your copy writers, web developers and marketing experts. You need what they  have to offer and they need your money.  It’s hard to trust them in this often dicey business. Its hard to trust anyone when what you do isn’t always legal. Some require your IDs ( advertising venues) others take sensitive photos of you (Photographers) some need your passwords (web developers) Some you trust to keep you safe when meeting clients (screening services) As an escort you make a calculated risk assessment on who to trust with your sensitive information and lets face it your money. They all want your money. Some provide value for service still others are trying to rip you off.

Some things to keep in mind when evaluating trust for an escort support service. Are they above the fray?

1. Do they get involved in petty fights?

Are they meddling in the business of escorts? Pitting them against each other on a message board to garner support for their position on something? Or fighting so hard for your money that they denigrate their competitors? Example: Does your screening or safety service bad mouth their competitors? Yes, they all want your business but do they actively try to get that business by putting down their competition using scare tactics, innuendo, rumor (often started by them) or any other backhanded means. IE do they talk a lot of shit publicly or with a whisper campaign. If they do watch out. Thats not professional and do you really want YOUR name and reputation associated with people who act like that. Not to mention they could and would those same tactics against you if they felt you in any way posed a threat to their business.

2. Are they professional in their communications?

Do they call you sweetie in a business email. Are they overly friendly leaning toward creepy because you have nude pictures on your website? Do they ask inappropriate questions or steer any business conversations towards sex. HUGE red flags. Run don’t walk to someone who will treat you with respect. This is your business not hot talk central.

3. Do they treat you like a professional person or like a dumb whore with too much money?

People often think escorting is recession proof. That escorts are rolling in dough 24/7. They also often think that escorts are too stupid to do anything other then fuck for money. Which is far from the truth but there are those support services that see you as marks. They should treat you professionally and if you at all get a whiff that they see you as someone to take advantage of then find someone else because they are not trustworthy.

4. Do they have an established long standing reputation?

Being in business a long time as an escort support service doesn’t automatically mean their trustworthy. However having a long standing reputation in a business atmosphere with a lot of turn over should carry weight. All business have their ups and downs but you generally want to deal with people who have more ups then downs. People who opt to stay out of the fray and drama. People who are known for not being busy bodies, belittlers, or shady. If a support service has too many incidents of  “he said she says” then I tend to stay away. New support service business are popping up all the time and just because someone is new doesn’t mean you should dismiss them out of hand but a splashy flashy website should take a back seat to a reference from a trusted colleague. You cant please 100% of the people all the time  and if a support business has been in business long enough you will have likely pissed someone off. However what kind of pissing off did they do? Did they over charge someone and then rectified the mistake? Or did they give out an escorts real name address and phone number because she pissed them off? All of that needs to be considered when weighing a supports service trustworthiness.

Be wary of any support services that tries to woo you into helping them by giving out personal information on competitors or how they do business.  The support services that stay in business the longest and have the best reputations are the ones that stay out of all that. That provide value for money and are discreet when they need to be and professional always. You vet your clients to make sure they are safe you should be doing the same with your escort support services.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, Hypno-Domme and former GFE Escort

Follow Jenny DeMilo on Twitter

Escorting, Marketing, Sex Work

Do The Math

back-to-school-retro-school-classroom-1408441525-view-0If you’re new to escorting or even if you’re not new sometimes its hard to tell what it is you really need to have to make money. As an independent escort it your own business and as with all business it takes money to make money. You can cut down on some of those costs by putting in a little time into figuring out what you really need to spend your money on and what you don’t. Making sure in the process to get value for money. Website: Though you don’t need a website to be an escort, it’s probably a good idea to get one.  Having a website shows some measure of legitimacy. If you are a little web savvy you can put up your own site. If not there are people who can do that for you. What they charge will vary far and wide. What you will get for that money will also vary. You should think carefully about what it is you want and what you are willing to pay to get it. A simple site works just as well as a very complicated site with all the bells and whistles. If you hire a web person to make you a site who does a lot of escort sites, make sure to do what you can to make your site look unique. You don’t want to look like everyone else. Your site should reflect you. Think about it from your client side, he’s weeding though a lot of sites and though a lot of potential escorts. Stand out! Oh and for gods sake if you put up your own site pay for your own hosting and a domain name. Don’t use a free site thats asking for trouble. Many are not adult friendly and you run the risk of waking up one day and your sites been deleted.

Photography: Every escort needs photos. Photos are going to sell you to potential clients more then anything else you do. Think about what image you want to project. Are you sweet and young? Are you dominating and fierce?  Are you quirky and alternative? What ever your assets are you want to project those in your photos.  Don’t just hire the dude who shoots all the hookers. What that is going to get you is your photos will look like all the other hookers photos. Hire someone you’re comfortable with (lots of creepy dudes with cameras out there), that you can trust (especially if you don’t show your face), who will design a shoot that is unique to you. Get references from other women in the business. Really look at someones portfolio. If they have 100 photos of skinny girls in lingerie and you’re fuller figured then that’s not your guy. If all they have to show are photos of white girls and you are a different shade then thats not your guy. If their portfolios are filled with pictures of landscapes and puppies then id think twice about spending your hard earned cash on that guy. Make sure they can do what it is you want and that they aren’t just putting up their lucky shots. Remember its easy to make a model… look like a model. Prices will also vary a lot so shop around.  If an average shoot in your area with a sex worker friendly photographer is 300 bucks and that gets you a set of usable retouched photos, then what should you get for a 1200 shoot? Also remember that as an escort you need to get new photos often, keep that in mind so when you are budgeting for shoots.You will need to do at least one shoot a year and you probably should do two.

Video: This is a thing now and frankly I don’t know why. Oh I know why some “clients” might like them. These are the same guys who can’t pull the trigger unless a girls got 500 reviews. But video isn’t necessary. It’s not a thing you need to have to work, even at the high end. Anyone that tells you that is selling something.  Does everyone need to have a Victoria Secrets style video to promote herself? The short answer is no.

Advertising: This is something you will need to invest in and put in some trail and error. Not all advertising works for all girls. Your BFF might really get a lot of work off a site that you get nothing off of. People in New York might pay for ads on a site that works, while in Detroit that same site will suck for bringing in clients. There is not rhyme or reason to it. The best thing you can do is set yourself a monthly advertising budget and then see what works for you. Try different things one at a time, then measure the success. Make sure you track hits to your website and ask your clients where they saw your ad. Not all of them will remember and some will get it wrong but absent of a customer satisfaction survey its the best you have to measure whats working. Also think of non traditional advertising venues like review boards, screening sites and social media.

Putting a little thought and time into determining what it is you need then adding up what that will cost is the best thing you can do for your business. You don’t need a ton of money but you should be setting some aside for these types of things. Do the math. Lots of people out there are looking to take advantage of you because they think you are rolling in escort dough and if you are new there are people who will tell you you need all the things and you can buy them from them of course. Be smart, be skeptical and don’t get taken advantage of.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, Hypno-Domme and former GFE Escort

Follow Jenny DeMilo on Twitter

 

Internet, Phone Sex, Sex Work, Time Management, Webcam

Hacking Your Productivity

Time SuckOne of the perils of being an online sex worker is well… all that online access! I’m a Phone Sex Operator (PSO) set up to take calls through a convoluted online set up that works for me *knocks on wood*. But if I was a betting woman (and I am), I’d be willing to put a pretty penny or two on the assertion that any successful PSO or Web Cam Entertainer puts in as much, if not more, time into the grunt work of running an online business (web development, content creation, emails, social media, branding, marketing, etc.) as they do actually interacting with Clients, even those conducting calls through a traditional landline. And while I know this and consider myself to be doing OK, I know I could be doing things that would be a whole heck of a lot more productive than getting distracted with the shiny time sucks out there that don’t help make my bank account grow wild with cash. You know what I’m talking about: Forums, Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Reddit, Youtube, etc.

Sure, some of these things can be  super helpful in growing your business. But if you’re anything like me, it’s also easy to get way distracted and be surprised that your 5 minute fun break turned into a lost hour (or two)! And oh no! Now it’s “prime hard-on” time and you don’t want to get in the middle of a project because the horny guys are going to start calling. Bummer! Guess you won’t be finishing that MP3 script today like you hoped…

I’m all about self and process improvement. So today, I’m sharing with you two tools that have helped me hack my own bad habits to improve my productivity.

  • Stay Focusd is an extension for Google Chrome that allows you to define a max number of minutes allowed on a site per day. You can even limit the window of distraction free browsing to particular days of the week or a range of time per day. You can block sub domains (like just the forum of a website and not the whole website itself). And you can even set a blurb of text that you have to type correctly to gain access to a site if so desired. Though that seems a little sadomasochist to me.
  • Rescue Time is an app that runs in the background of your computer and tracks the time you spend in applications and websites. You can tell it how useful or distracting something is. And you can log in to see daily stats or get a weekly email that serves for me personally as a moment of self reflection and goal setting. I like hard data that holds me accountable to myself. It’s easy to slack off on fun stuff, but seeing an overview of where my time went is a cold hard kick in the booty to get my priorities straight.

What tips, tricks or tools do you utilize to make yourself more productive? Share your insights in the comments section below!

Sarah Does Phone Sex, is a phone sex operator. You can find Sarah on Twitter, read her blog or even give her a call.

Community, Money Management, Sex Work

Death and taxes, okay just taxes

Uncle Sam Another year has come to a close and that means it’s time do start worrying about your taxes. But I’m a sex worker, I don’t pay taxes you say. BAD idea! Everyone needs to pay their taxes be you PSO or escort. Uncle Sam wants the cut of your money he’s entitled to and it’s a good idea to give it to him so you don’t get caught up in him just taking it from you and he will just take it away from you.  Uncle Sam doesn’t care if you’re a hooker or a cam girl he just wants his money. Besides it’s good to pay your taxes for other reasons. Do you ever want credit? Want to buy a house someday? Get a car loan? Health insurance? Those are just some of the things you may need to show your tax returns to accomplish. Now that you’ve decided to be a productive member of society you need to fill out those pesky tax forms and saying “prostitute”  or “Dominatrix”  under the what do you do for a living part may not be what you want on your tax forms. That’s okay, you can say “model” or better yet say  “consultant”  Thats vague enough but is also mundane enough that it will just be glanced over. Lots of people are consultants you do not need to specify what kind of consultant. Problem one solved!

Depending on the kind of sex work you do you may get 1099 forms from the work you’ve done, or you may not. You still have to declare your actual income, even if you don’t get a form. If you’re an escort or pro domme and work only for yourself you will get nothing from no one. You still need to declare your income. It’s a good idea to begin the year keeping records of your income and expenses but thats an article for another time. If you are a cam girl, PSO, adult actress, dancer, adult content producer, fetish model and the list goes on and one you will likely get 1099’s from some companies and nothing from others. You are what is called an independent contractor/ sole proprietor which is commonly referred to as a freelancer. It’s your responsibility to keep track of your income so you can report it at the end of they year. Plus knowing what you make helps you budget in areas of the rest of  your life. You know like knowing if you are living above your means.

Now that you know what you make, its time to figure out what you can deduct as business expenses.

This about it like this, what things are you paying to run your business? Internet connection? Web hosting, domain names? Did you buy equipment this year for your clip shooting business? Did you pay a photographer for new pictures or take out expensive advertising on that pricey escort mall site? Those things are likely deductible. If you have a home office you can not deduct the full cost of your rent but you can deduct a portion of it. Usually based on the square footage of your office compared to the square footage of the entire place. Don’t try to scam the system keep track of your legitimate expenses. No those new $300 jeans you bought are not a “costume”

Viola you’re well on your way to filling your taxes. It sucks that you may (probably) will have to be cutting a check to Uncle Sam. No one likes that but nothing is being withheld from your earnings, including social security. You need to be prepared to be an responsible adult and write that check even if your hand shakes when you do it. I know mine does, every single fucking year.

Official disclaimer: I’m not a CPA or a tax attorney or anything along those lines. Sex worker friendly people in those professions are out there willing to take you on as a client if you look hard enough.  I’m just a sex worker who pays her taxes who’s trying to help figure out how to pay yours.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, Hypno-Domme and former GFE Escort

Follow Jenny DeMilo on Twitter

 

Internet, Phone Sex, Sex Work, Webcam

Get A Room!

On the phone Hi! Sarah (of SarahDoesPhoneSex.com) here and for my inaugural post here on Fairy Whore Mother, I want to share a fabulous tool that was recommended to me (by @MissEmmaMcG of KinkandCode.com) that has made Client-On-Cam sessions a freaking breeze. More on this in a bit. As a Phone Sex Operator (PSO) working primarily on platforms (like Niteflirt, TalkToMe, etc.), I don’t offer WebCam as a service. However, if I did, honestly I think I’d use a site that had the functionality to handle the whole transaction within the web browser itself, as opposed to having to utilize third party services (like Skype or various IM programs) to connect with the Client. And there are a variety of points I’d bring up about that, but I’m trying to keep this positive and not get distracted with too many side rants, so I’ll save that whole can of beans for another day.

But the thing that really bugs me about offering WebCam sessions (through phone sex platforms) is that without fail, they’re a huge pain in the ass to pull off. I use Skype to take my PSO calls. I did that on purpose. One of my goals in becoming a full time PSO is that eventually I’ll be able to do it from anywhere (as long as I have a good internet connection). So using Skype to watch a client’s webcam doesn’t work for me. And I refuse to download a bunch of IM programs. Yahoo? AIM? ICQ? I’m sorry, is 1999 calling? No.

And I realize that not using the tech old guys are comfortable with is probably hurting my business potential a bit. But I’m OK with that. Know why? Because of the inevitable threads I see on forums complaining about how clients abuse the fuck out of it. Selling that Skype ID for a few bucks may seem like a good idea now, but just wait till you’re getting endless messages asking if you’ll take Paypal or messaging you while you’re in the middle of a session with another client. And heaven help you if you have multiple characters to juggle.

Ever since settling on that little internal policy for how I run my business, if someone expresses interest in having me watch them on webcam. I offered Google Hangouts as my solution. Obviously this has it’s own trials and tribulations (they have to have a Gmail account or make one for naughty porn purposes, they have to be relatively tech savvy, etc.). And while I’ll admit I’m a pretty big Google fan girl, their user experience isn’t without t’s own issues either. But it made do. That is until I found about about Room.co.

OK, now pause, cause we need to get this little cautionary blurb out of the way. Room has a Terms of Service that clearly states that using their site for commercial and/or adult entertainment purposes is not kosher. *gasp* *shock* *feigned surprise* But seriously what modern tools are we in the adult entertainment industry allowed to use without violating the hell out all kinds of legalese? So use it at your own risk. And when it becomes a for pay service, please remember to support it with your cash (note: I’m not in any way affiliated with the site, so no agenda here) to help influence legit companies to embrace sextech as an under served customer base starving for innovation.

Now for the fun stuff. Why do I love this site so much?

  • No Downloads: Everything happens in the browser.
  • No Signup For Client: They don’t have to signup for anything. All they do is click the link you send them for the room and they get transported into the video call under a silly automatically generated anonymous moniker.
  • Tech Agnostic: Works on Google Chrome, Mozilla Firefox, and Apple (iPhone & iPad). That way everyone gets to play in their preferred tech playground. I also really love that they didn’t cater to Apple users to the determent of Android users (as so many developers do).
  • Intuitive User Interface: Simple by design. It doesn’t try and reinvent the wheel. The designers have embraced the conventions we’ve all been trained to look for through past internet experience to be able to very quickly navigate the various functions available.
  • Rename & Save Rooms: Have a repeat client? Make them their very own room and save the URL as a bookmark. Now you never ever have to worry about if they have the right URL or not (I’m looking at you Google Hangouts).
  • Text Chat: More than just a video conference / webcam tool, you can also type back and forth and share URLs with each other… privately.
  • Screen Share: Ever had a client that likes to watch porn with you? This makes it a cake walk.
  • Up To 4 People: I haven’t done this yet, but the thought has crossed my mind that this would be a way to do a session with a client that wanted to play with multiple entertainers at the same time or maybe play with 2 clients at the same time (long distance couples?). Not sure how often this feature would get used, but the option is there, and I like that.
  • Oh, and did I mention, it’s FREE!

Thanks for reading. I hope this will help take your sexwork business to the next level. Did you try out Room? What did you think? What did your Client think? Share your thoughts with me and the rest of the Fairy Whore Mother gang on Twitter (@FWMother & @SarahDoesPhSex).

Sarah Does Phone Sex, is a phone sex operator. You can find Sarah on Twitter, read her blog or even give her a call.