All posts by fairywhoremother

Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer, Phone Sex Operator and Hypno-Domme. Jenny’s been working in the sex business for more years then is polite to say in mixed company. She has a long standing reputation for helping her fellow sex workers stay safe in an often risky business and has been bloggng and shinning a bright shinny light about working in the sex business since 2007. The good, the bad and even the ugly has been reveled. Never one to mince words, Jenny calls it like she sees it and has been called everything from a “Fairy Whore Mother” to divisive by her peers. Jenny is also a professional photographer and published writer in the mainstream world.

The Choice Is Critical

An assistant is just that someone to assist you with your daily tasks, in hookerland this means; phones, emails and screening. Over the past 2 years I’ve had the pleasure of using a fabulous assistant when I needed a little extra help on tour. However I’ve been lucky. Many escorts run into serious issues with the assistant they have hired or  or fired. Extortion, blackballing, public outings and client black booking are just a few of the issues. I’m hoping with the advice here you are able to find your perfect assistant.

1. No one knows ho business like a ho

You should only hire a retired escort. She knows first hand what can happen if screening isn’t up to par (like jail or death) Your everyday person isn’t going to know how or where to begin screening your potential clients or how to spot a potential issue.

2. A great assistant will never pretend to be you.

How sketchy would it be to talk to someone on the phone then meet them later in the day, their voice is different and they can’t recall what you talked about? You’d head straight for the door if this happened. You’re a busy professional, you’ve hired help, show it off.  Be up front on your website and ads about having an assistant. This should nip any confusion in the butt.

3. References

In our world reputation is everything! Any assistant you are interested in hiring should provide you with references of current or former employers. Do not accept the “client confidentiality” BS. I will gladly vouch for my former assistant via email or phone anytime she needs me to. I suggest you email the references and ask for a little phone time as well asking questions like,  how long services were used, what was provided, any issues, any areas that could use improvement, client opinions of the assistant and why they’re no longer using the services.

4. Price

NEVER EVER pay an assistant a percentage of your income or a fee per booking, this gives incentive to cut corners and take risks to make more money. As a general rule of thumb you should pay your hourly rate per week. Industry average is $400 per week. If you can’t afford that you need a new business plan not an assistant.

5. Services Provided

This is never the same from assistant to assistant. First determine what you need. For myself it was phone help as I loath talking on the phone but why not take advantage of a package deal when offered?  Phones, emails, screening, booking, travel arrangements, check in/out, the possibilities are endless.

Finding the right assistant isn’t easy and it shouldn’t be. You are entrusting someone with your well being and safety not just getting a little extra phone help. Be smart about it, chose carefully, think though all the possible ramifications and potential pitfalls. The extra time it takes to make a smart decision is well worth the effort.

Ginger McNaughty: National Touring Escort

Follow Ginger on Twitter @GingerMcNaughty

Making Twitter Your Bitch

In the last 12 months, I have made over $4000 just based on connections I made through Twitter. I don’t mean residual income from selling videos or photos, I mean $4000+ worth of paid shoots straight off Twitter. If you wanted to add in the income from selling videos and photos from content exchange shoots, that number could easily double. Twitter can very easily be your best friend, but only if you use it to your advantage. Here are some tips on how to make Twitter your bitch:
1. Don’t have an ego so big that you miss important connections. Yea, I get it. We all think we’re the most awesome bitches on this planet, and damnit we deserve to be treated that way! Forget that thought process on Twitter. Having an ego on Twitter is quite possibly worse than having an ego in real life. Nobody cares about your 10k+ followers or that you made $1000 in a day off your clips. People care that you’re a cool person. These days, half of the jobs you’ll get are based off your personality rather than your looks or popularity. Have a sourpuss attitude? That’s a damn shame since there are dozens of others who don’t. It’s way easier to be nice and humble than it is to pull the bitch card.

2. Interact with (almost) everyone. You never know who is a potential client or someone looking to hire you. Obviously the people tweeting comments about how they want to do all sorts of things to you can be ignored or simply just thanked for their support. However, new producers flock to Twitter to find talent, and just because someone doesn’t have a default photo yet might not mean that they aren’t legit trying to get the ball rolling. I’ve been lucky with having some amazing fans pop up from Twitter, as well as meeting new producers and clients. There are jerkoffs on there trying to get freebies or troll you, but in 140 characters it’s quite easy to tell the difference between someone serious and a fanboy or troll. If someone is asking you for photos or videos, send them a link back to your site in response!

3. Autotweets are your friend. Ok, yes, it’s time consuming to get them set up, but the pay off is amazing. The rule of marketing is that people have to see an ad at LEAST 3 times before they consider it. Ideally, you want someone to see the ad 7-12 times. Nobody has that kind of time to sit and update Twitter with the same post over and over and over again. If you do, I highly recommend spending time hustling elsewhere. Sign up for a service like HootSuite which lets you schedule tweets in advance, and don’t be stingy with your tweets. Schedule each tweet to post at least twice a day, during peak business hours (look at your sales or sign ups, what time do they happen most frequently? Use that as a guide for when to schedule tweets). HootSuite is free, although they have a paid version which lets you upload Excel files to make scheduling even easier. Spend an hour a week scheduling tweets for the week advertising your site, your blog, your upcoming travel, any exciting new videos/photosets on your site or store, etc.

4. Don’t retweet everything everyone @’s you. Seriously. We get it. You’re hot. You’ve got a great ass. That dude wants to be your slave. That other dude wants to bury his manjunk so far up inside of you that you feel it deep in your belly. Retweet the genuinely awesome ones, such as a producer advertising you on their sites or getting a rave review from someone you just worked with.  Being popular is great, but again with the ego. Don’t go waving it around in everyone’s face. They can just search @[your twitter handle] and see what everyone is saying without it clogging up their timeline.

5. Be careful who you do business with on Twitter, especially escorts and anyone else who privately sessions. Don’t tweet about your location, don’t tweet about making money with a client, don’t conduct business with anyone who refuses to take the conversation off twitter and fill out your screening services questionnaire. I don’t have statistics about whether police use Twitter to do crackdowns, but I imagine it’d be a pretty easy place to get info. Who is this person you’re talking to that’s only had a Twitter profile for 2 days and is only following you? Probably not somebody you actually want to be talking to and scheduling private sessions with.

6. Use photos to drive more traffic to wherever. Advertising a new clip? Use a still photo from the clip (with your watermark and store/site info on it) in the tweet! People like teasers, so get a really great still photo and use it. This is also helpful when you’re scheduling your autotweets! Nothing says “come buy what I’m selling” quite like an enticing photo. (edit note: be careful about nudes, read the TOS for picture hosting sites many don’t allow them)

7. Hashtags aren’t always necessary. Nobody cares if you hashtag #thingsIforgottodolastnight, but look at popular hashtags and use them! They’re popular for a reason! #fml #whitegirlproblems #toetuesday are all short and simple, and popularly used. Posting a photo of something specific? Use hashtags to describe it (#feet #XXX #ass). This is also a great tool with both autotweets and photos.

8. Don’t carry on lengthy conversations on Twitter. Take the conversation elsewhere, be it Skype or email, 140 characters is annoying and you rarely get the full message across. Don’t be rude about asking someone to email you though—explain that Twitter makes it difficult to follow conversations and that email is your preferred method of ongoing contact.

9. Your tweets don’t show in Google search, but your profile does. Use keywords to describe yourself! Are you a pornstar based in NYC? Put that in your profile! Do you have a website? Put that in your profile (there’s even a place for that!!). What defines your job? List that!

10. Don’t air out your dirty laundry on Twitter. I cannot stress this enough. If you have bad blood on Twitter, be the bigger person and don’t mention it, don’t tweet about it, don’t respond to it. People read your tweets, and if they see that your timeline is full of drama, shit talking, or nasty subtweets, they’re going to move on even if it isn’t about them. Yes, we all have bad days and drama, but keep it off Twitter unless it’s a must. This also applies to your own dirty laundry: if you’re depressed or angry or desperate, it shows on Twitter and can scare off potential companies to see that your life isn’t together.

11. You’ll eventually get tired of me saying this, but do your research!! If it is a new producer, ask them for references. If it’s a potential client, make sure they are properly screened. Make sure the company you are working for is legitimate. Do they have a website listed? Do they interact with others in the industry (both colleagues and people that they hire)?

Follow Sydney Screams on Twitter @sydneyscreams4u

Sydney Screams: Fetish Model, Clip Producer, Adult Actress, Radio Talk Show Host

How To Protect Your Brand

I’m here to deliver some bad news: if you’re an independent escort who writes her own web copy, there’s a good chance someone else is going to steal it. The higher your visibility, i.e. the more you advertise, the better odds are of this happening, and of happening more than once. (I’ve even had wannabe straight gigolos steal my content!) Short of going completely UTR and hoping no thieves find you, what options do you have to deal with plagiarism?

Make your mark, don’t steal it

First, give yourself permission to protect your work. I hate confrontation, so even though nothing makes me angrier than being ripped off, I dread that reply email from the person I’m calling out. Steel your nerves by reminding yourself that you’re a professional, you created something original—and valuable—in the service of promoting your business, and someone else stole it for their own gain. This is not okay and it’s not harmless regardless of how green or ditzy the girl (or guy) who stole from you may be. You can get moral support from friends before taking action if you’re feeling a little unsure, and if they’re fellow working girls, they’d probably appreciate a heads up anyway about who among us isn’t as ethical as she should be. (I also derive a lot of encouragement from this comprehensive Amanda Brooks post capturing all the agony of having to deal with content thieves.) http://www.texasgoldengirl.com/afterhours/escort-plagarism/#more-954

Second, give the thief an easy way out. It pains me to admit it, but this is definitely a situation where you’ll get better results by swallowing your righteous anger and trying to sound sweet regardless of how furious you feel. Few people respond with grace when they’re caught doing something so obviously wrong, so whatever you do, don’t expect an apology or admission of guilt. Clench your teeth and type out something along the lines of “Dear Tiffanie, your pictures are simply adorable and you seem like a great girl but I noticed that you’ve inadvertently repeated some of the text I wrote for my own site. Can you please have your webmaster take down the following sections?” It’s a really good idea to let your first draft sit for at least a day so you can try to smooth out any lingering bitterness that’s come through.

Go ahead and let the culprit blame the copying on a web designer or a well-meaning client or a boyfriend, or her own crazy memory that allows her to mistake entire sentences of other people’s writing for her own. She’ll save face and you get what you want—hopefully.

Some friends of mine have offered to help the offender write her own text, or flat out ghost write it for her for free, which is something I would never be able to bring myself to do. However, I respect that approach for its generosity and you may have some luck with it. One of my friends explained this approach by saying, “I knew she’d never take me up on it,” but I’m not so sure about that. Definitely don’t offer this if you aren’t willing to follow through or she’ll probably feel justified in defaulting back to using yours.

Third, make it harder for people to steal from you. If you don’t care for visibly watermarking your images, you can use a digital watermark. Have your website designer code your pages so that it’s not possible to highlight and copy text. Thieves are by definition lazy, so this will have an impact right away, though on sites like Eros and Cityvibe they will still be able to lift your words.

Fourth, stay alert. Use services like Copyscape (http://copyscape.com) or set up google alerts on some of your more distinctive phrases. DMCA is really the best place to register with because it holds the most sway with hosts, and has the best luck of getting a site taken offline or modified when your entreaties to the escort herself (or himself) have gone unrewarded. (You can learn a little more about DMCA here, http://brainz.org/dmca-takedown-101/ You can also google pieces of your text now and then—lots of girls do this—and see what turns up. As you develop a place in the community, other escorts will let you know when they see your work on someone else’s page. Respond to it! Go back and read the first rule if you start feeling fatigued by all the policing you have to do.

Fifth, recognize when it’s time for no more Ms. Nice Escort. I use a copyright consultant to keep an eye on all of my content because I believe it needs to be done but I don’t want to have to do it myself. Instead of emailing someone directly now, I usually just ask him to send a DMCA notice to their host. This costs extra money but it’s worth it to me. I don’t have any more patience or energy to spare on arguing with someone who’s stolen from me, so I just go straight to the big guns whenever possible.

Sixth, recognize when it’s time to let it go. Some offenders will have been lucky enough to set up shop with a belligerent or lackadaisical host who won’t respond to your notices, or she may have tweaked your own paragraphs just enough to claim that it’s all a big coincidence (even if you and I and everyone else with a brain can see differently.) People who take short cuts are not destined for much success. Rest easy in the fact that they won’t be able to deliver in person what your scintillating, personalized prose promised.

Or, depending on what exactly they’ve stolen, you might take a different view entirely. A few lines I wrote about welcoming clients with disability have been stolen verbatim so many times over the years that it’s practically become standard industry practice to include it on a site or ad. And that’s okay. Those little bits related to protocol aren’t what distinguishes your personality, anyway.

Keep in mind through all of this that no matter how frustrated you may be by the plagiarism, you’ve got an ace up your sleeve that the plagiarists don’t. You can always write more unique, beguiling passages that attract the type of clients you want. If you’ve done it once, you’ve got the intelligence and creativity to do it again. Odds are, your copycats will continue to be unoriginal and opportunistic, rounding up the back of the pack while looking to people like you to try to understand what creates success. They’re simply not real threats. Of the two of you, you’re the one with the upper hand.

Avery Moore: High-End Escort, Traveling Companion

Staying Under The Hotel Radar

Traveling isn’t easy when you’re escorting. It can take a physical toll, worse it can take an emotional toll. Being away from home and all your creature comforts is harder then you may think, especially if you travel for more then a few days at a time. The last thing you want is to be hassled by the front desk or hotel management for being a hooker. Here are some tips on ways to keep under the radar when working out of a hotel on tour.

1. Steal towels from the maids cart: You’re going to need extra towels, hotels are getting stingier with them all the time. Plus sometime clients hog and use up all your towels. You really don’t want to be calling the maid every day or even several times a day asking for extra towels. Thats a giant red flag and will get you pegged as a hooker straight off the bat. If you see the maids cart (and how can you miss it) causally and with out being noticed take a handful of towels back to your room and stow them in your closet. Put out one fresh towel for each client, don’t give them the option to use up all your towels.

2. If you need to ask the maid for towels, TIP HER: Sometimes you need towels and you just cant find that maids cart to nick them from (FYI: look on other floors too) You have no choice but to call housekeeping and ask for fresh towels. When the maid comes to your door with them, tip her! Hand her five bucks say thank you, be nice to her and smile. She will be more then happy to give you the towels and be more likely to just turn a blind eye as to why a single female traveler needs all these goddamn towels. She may even ask you in the hall next time she sees you if you need any towels or anything for your room. Win her over with cash.

3. Take out your own trash: The last thing you want to do is bring unneeded or unwanted attention to yourself with a trash can full if condom wrappers.  Take out your own trash. Usually theres a trash can somewhere by the ice machine. Scope it out so you know where it is and take out your own trash. The less suspicion on you the better

4. Scope out the alternative entrances:  Tell your clients how to get to your room without going by the front desk. You would think this was a no brainer but its not. Trust me they don’t wanna go by the front desk anyways so give them the alternative route. If there is no alternative route available, tell your clients how to directly walk to the elevators so they don’t have to ask anyone for directions. Sometimes the elevators are hidden and its better when they can walk though the lobby like they know where they are going.

5. Do not register your hotel room with your hooker number: Hotels have taken to using the Google if they are suspicious of you. Some hotels just do it as a mater of course on all single female guests. Do not register/rent your room with your working number, use your personal cell number or a google voice number you have reserved just for hotel rentals. You don’t want a nosy, snoopy manager to google your number and see your 100 ads for escorting. That will only get you tossed out, extorted for free service if the guy is a super creep, or worse they will call the cops and try to get you arrested. (FYI never talk to the cops)

6. Always tip housekeeping: This also would seems like a no brainer but yet it’s not. Tip your maids and tip them well. If you have your room made up every day, tip them every day. If you’re like me and rarely take advantage of maid service, then tip them at the end of your stay even if you think they didn’t do much. They did do something, they didn’t rat you out to management and some hotels offer bounties on that kinda thing. The maids will always know whats what in a hotel. They see who comes and goes, they see you opening your door to that weird overweight guy who looks nervous and out of place. They are the eyes and ears of the place, they know you’re working out of that room so buy their silence with cold hard cash.  Don’t get greedy and forget to tip your maids. Its the cost of doing business and Its worth every penny you spend.

 

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer, Phone Sex Operator and Hypno-Domme.

Shut The Fuck Up

It can happen to anyone. It can happen if you are an escort, if you are a porn-star, a Dominatrix or a cam girl. You can be arrested. True your odds are higher if you are working in the gray area of sex work, the area where it might not be so legal to do what you are doing for a living but being arrested isn’t exclusive to escorts. Ask Kimberly Kupps if you don’t believe me, she was arrested for making adult content out of her own home. Cam sites in LA are being raided by the police for film permit violations  and who knows what will happen with all this required condoms on porn stuff going on right now. Laws are changing an their not very friendly to sex workers to begin with, no one is untouchable.  As a result its more important then ever to know your rights. Yes, you have rights and you need to invoke them if you are arrested or if you find yourself in a situation with law enforcement

First in foremost you have the right to remain silent. That’s your right and you should USE it. Do not answer questions, no matter how innocuous the questions seem. The police are trying to make a case against you and they will use everything they can including ANYTHING you say. You are only required to give them your legal name and you address of residence. You don’t need nor should you volunteer any other information. Just shut up, clam up, zip it, be quiet, do not engage them, do not answer questions do not pass go do not collect 200 dollars. You also have the right to an attorney so invoke that as well. Respectfully decline to answer any questions pending consultation with your attorney. Cops can and will lie to you, it’s their job to build a case against you that’s what they are there to do, anything you say can and WILL be used against you. So just shut the fuck up.  It might be hard, they will try to provoke you, say all kinds of terrible things about you, to you, but just go to your happy place and do not engage them. Do not try defend yourself, do not answer any questions. Just sit there and be mute. Get all Helen Keller up in their shit. They may get aggressive and curse at you, they may call you names and try to manipulate you into responding. They may even say that they will send you into a dark hole with no way out, forever. Do not take the bait, just be quiet. Give them your name, address tell them you will not answer their questions and and would like to see an attorney. The end. Be polite but do not engage no matter how much they try to get you to respond to their questions.

It seems so simple but so many people do not invoke their rights, they get caught up in the situation. Law enforcement has more experience then you in an arrest situation, they have the advantage, you’re likely to be scared, intimidated, horrified but do not take the bait do not let your self be manipulated into doing yourself no favors. The best way you can help yourself is to just be quiet.

Redlight Chicago has a training video you should watch, it not only has good info but they do reenactments of common LE techniques. http://www.redlightdistrictchicago.com/?p=43

Also download, read and even carry with you the ACLU bust card – its an invaluable resource, use it. ACLU BUST CARD 

I am in no way an attorney and I’m no substitute for legal advice. If you get arrested get real legal advice from a real lawyer. I’m just a sex worker who knows the value of keeping her mouth shut when it’s appropriate and when you come in contact with law enforcement that’s always a good time to invoke your right to shut the fuck up.

 

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer, Phone Sex Operator and Hypno-Domme