Tag Archives: Sex work

Clips, Fetish Model, Internet, Self Care, Sex Work

Before You Get Naked On The Internet…

imageOnline based sex work, such as fetish clips and webcamming, is attractive for a lot of reasons. It can be done with just a webcam and an internet connection. You can do it in the comfort of your own home. And you can have as much or as little contact with clients as you want.

But that doesn’t mean it’s all lying around in cozy lingerie and watching the sales emails roll in. It’s WORK.

In the past couple years I’ve helped a lot of people set up their first fetish clips studios. More accurately – I’ve given a lot of people the lessons & tools to do so, complete with filming their first clips. But I’ve also gone out of my way to help people who haven’t done their homework. And that’s not cool. It’s a waste of my time and theirs. This is a guide I rather accidentally compiled from emails I’ve sent to people asking the same questions.

These are the things you need to do BEFORE you open your studio and BEFORE you come to me or Sydney to help you get up and running. We’ve talked a lot about making money filming clips. But we’ve been catering to people already in sex work or perform as fetish models in some capacity. This is more basic. These are the things you need to do FIRST.

1. Choose a hooker name. Don’t even talk to me about filming until you know what you want to call you on camera and the name of your store. Take your time, because you’re kind of stuck with it, but figure it out.

This is also a good place to start developing your Hooker Persona. For a lot of people it’s a fairly organic process, but it’s worth putting some thought into. Are you an evil cunt who lives to cause pain? Sexual being of pure energy whose kink transcends gender? A deliberately generic horny slut who likes getting off on camera. A lot of this will be determined by how your clients perceive you, and will evolve over time, but having a basic idea of how you want to present yourself is helpful.

2. What do you want to do? What are you willing to do? Live webcamming? Filming porn? Filming fetish porn? Check out the major sites –  www.streamate.com, www.niteflirt.com, and of course, www.clips4sale.com. See what it takes and what it looks like. Browse the categories. See what sells. See where you might fit in. Then think about what you want to do in greater detail, and perhaps just as importantly, what you DON’T want to do.

I can’t emphasize boundaries enough. They will be pushed consistently and often unexpectedly. Common requests include: nudity, masturbation, anal play/sex, sex toys, tickling, sucking of toes, domination, submission, gay humiliation, racial humiliation, peeing, filming/camming with other people, and some things you never would have imagined. It’s much easier to navigate if you have set your personal boundaries ahead of time.

The #1 priority is to take care of yourself – which will be more emotionally centered with solitary digital based work. Pushing your boundaries out of desperation can lead to extremely dangerous situations. That’s a totally privileged position and there’s a lot of political shit inherent in saying that, but highly applicable to the majority our audience here. Don’t put up with shit you’re not ok with just because you might make a few bucks off of it.

3. Do the paperwork. If you’re not ok with sites like the aforementioned having your legal information or records of your income, stop now. Otherwise, get yourself to a scanner or fax machine. Fill out their forms. Scan your IDs. Send in your tax forms. Whatever else it takes to get approved (it’s been a while… I don’t remember the specifics.) It usually takes a couple days to get approved, but you can keep working to be ready for launch while you wait!

4. How out are you ok being? Are you ok showing your face? Are you ok with your parents, friends, co-workers, future lovers, or future employers finding out? Or at least prepared for that possibility? Once your image hits the internet, especially in a sexy porny context, you can pretty much consider it immortalized. There’s no going back. You can get a lot of distance and erase as much as possible… but the internet has a long memory.

5. Know the Deal. In my experience the money I make from online based sex work is directly proportional to the time and effort I put into it. This is a slow burn kind of field. Each clip you sell will earn you about $3-$5 on average, but that can start to really add up over time. You may have 4 shitty hours on cam and then have an hour long private that rains tips on you. And either way you usually won’t see that money immediately unless you’re working independently, which I know too little about to give good advice on.

Payouts for clips sites generally happen monthly. Cam sites generally pay either weekly or bi-weekly. Are you able to sustain yourself on that? And both will take a significant percentage of your total sales. Look up how much and set your prices accordingly.

It takes both hard work and a bit of patience. It takes a while to build a customer base, especially in a niche market. You won’t make a boat load of money quickly. But you can lay the foundation for sustainable and relatively passive income down the line.

Congratulations! You made it this far! You’ve set up your studio/cam profile and are ready to start earning those sweet paychecks! Now get your sexy butt/feet/mouth on camera!

And while you’re editing / updating come back here and read these:

4 Easy Ways To Increase Your Clip Sales

Dealing With Rolls While Camming Part 1

Make More Money From Fetish Clips

Consistency Is Key

Lauren Kiley: Webcam Girl, Fetish Performer, Fetish Clip Producer, Former Escort, Activist, Dirty Girl Next Door.

Internet, Marketing

Putting Content Marketing To Work As a Sex Worker

content-marketing-wheelContent marketing is the method of using your expertise to attract potential clients. Usually, content marketing involves maintaining a blog that acts as a “how to” regarding industry related questions, and is by no means a fast pay off. Content marketing has shown great success in industries ranging from real estate to finances to homemaking skills (why do you think celebrity cooks have top selling cookbooks and popular, make reservations weeks in advance restaurants?). That’s great, but what does that mean for us sex workers, and should we be putting it to work?

I don’t know about you lot, but I’m flooded by emails and twitter @’s asking for advice regularly on how to get started and how to do X, Y or Z. I mean, hello, this blog exists for a reason!! Personally, I hate writing 101’s for people when I had to figure things out on my own years ago when even fewer resources existed out there. There’s a very natural mindset that exists within some of us about not wanting to share our secrets with our competitors, especially when they’re complete strangers.

But, here’s the thing.

Sharing secrets is working in other industries. There is no reason to believe that content marketing wouldn’t work for sex workers either. Many of us already maintain blogs or tumblrs or twitters, and even more of us tout that we’re experts or the “go to” gal or guy for whatever our specialty is. So why aren’t we proving it? If your online reviews call you queen of the bj, maybe it’s time you write a blog about what you do that make your blowjobs so special. Or if your feet are a sought after commodity, share what your day to day routine is for keeping them in perfect condition.

The idea behind content marketing isn’t to share 100% of the secrets or tips. The idea is to show that we know what we’re doing, and that we’re the best at what we do. This is especially vital now that Google+ has teamed up with WordPress and other online publishing sites to link it back to your Google+ profile (with your profile photo by the link, which gives you extra credibility). Why’s that important since less than 1/4 of Google+ profiles are active? 1-it makes plagiarism a bit harder. 2-it will improve your Google ranking. 3-if you don’t want to be higher in Google ranking, there’s something wrong with you.

Let’s face it; vanilla marketing trends are just as relevant for us as they are for the outside world. Ignoring them isn’t something any of us can afford to do, so put those blogs, tumblrs, twitters and youtube channels to work!!

Sydney Screams: Fetish Model, Clip Producer, Adult Actress, Radio Talk Show Host

Escorting, Sex Work

Hagglers, Ugh!

Haggler If you are a sex worker then you’ve experienced “The Haggler” All sex workers deal with him at one point or another no matter what your discipline. Sex workers see more than their fair share of guys looking to get what ever it is they offer on the cheap. I would venture the see more people looking for discounts then used car salesmen.  It can be frustrating, it can be insulting, it can be offensive or it can just be annoying like a gnat circling your head on a hot day. In any event dealing with them and not letting it effect both your bottom line and your mental and emotional well being is important. Here are a few different kinds of hagglers out there on the prowl and strategies for dealing with them when they pop up in your inbox.

1. The birthday haggler
“It’s my birthday can I get a discount?”  This one always befuddles me why should I care that its someone I don’t knows birthday. It happens all the time though, this haggler is always trying to angle for a discount be it his real birthday or not. You can always say polity, “as it says on my site/profile/blog/ i do not offer discounts” Or you can ask him what kind of discount he’s looking for. Say your rate is 600 and then haggler in question wants to see you but pay 400 thats a 200 dollar discount hes looking for. This person is asking you to buy him a 200 dollar birthday present and you you are not friends/family/business associates. You are a stranger and he would like you to give him 200 dollars. Point this out and maybe he will see the error of his ways.

2. I will write you a good review
This guy is ever present. Hes they guy that thinks because he talks a lot on a message board or two that that give him some kind of special status and hes always looking to trade that special status he thinks he has for a little discounted nookie. The implication is of course that because he is a big man on campus (in his own mind) that if you decline his haggling offer he will do the opposite of write you a good review. This guy is also under the impression that his one good review will bring you a shit ton more business. In fact that might have been true 10 years ago but the review game has changed a lot and sometimes they have such little effect on your business (and life) that people don’t even know that they have a new anything online because there is no spike to web hits, let alone phone calls or bookings. This one is best handled carefully as his personal ego is invested in the discount he’s trying to scam you out of. Best to just polity decline or ignore him entirely

3. I will become a regular.
The first thing you have to know about this guy is that he wont become a regular. This tactic is just the carrot he’s trying to dangle in front of you. If you he liked you enough to be a regular he would have already seen you and would be well on his way to booking more frequent and longer appointments. This guy will only see you once for the discount and if he ever did book again he’d expect that to be discounted as well. I usually tell this guy when he IS a regular then we can talk about discounted rates or extended appointment price breaks.

4. You’re not worth the price.
This intimidation come on pretty much never works. No girl in her right mind is going to come back with “yes i am, lets do it for cheap and i’ll prove it to you” Though that is the hagglers one true wish. Usually this guy has anger issues as well and lets face who wants to deal with that guy alone in a hotel room. Not I. Avoid at all costs.

5. Other girls are cheaper.
Pitting providers against each other is a common tactic though it usually doesn’t work well. To be a provider you have to already have a lot of self confidence, when you sell sex you’re really putting yourself out there. So trying the old “but so and so is cheaper” really is a weak come on. I generally tell him that my rates are my rates and that he should book time with someone in his price range and to have a nice day.

6. I’m too poor.
This is the opposite approach to you’re not worth the price. This guy cant afford you and he shouldn’t be wasting your time with the old cry poor come on. There are girls at every price point he can find someone he likes in his range. Trying to make you feel sorry for the sad state of his wallet is well sad and pathetic. There are lots of things I can not afford and I cant imagine a time I went to my favorite 5 star restaurant and begged for a discount cuz it was out of my price range. Yeah that never happens. I usually point that fact out to him.

The haggler takes many forms and he will often come back at you time and time again. You can not control that the only think you can control is your reaction to it. There are days when you are going to want to rip them up one side and down the other but its important to pick your battles, if you can find a way to polity decline its usually best, ignoring them and sending their inquiry to the circular file is also a good way to go. Once an a while a scathing email retort cant be helped. I’ve done it more times then i care to admit, ive also felt the backlash from lashing out in frustration at a haggler. Do your best to keep it civil and your mental health and blood pressure will both thank you for it.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, former GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer and Hypno-Domme

Community, Self Care

I Can Tell That We Are Going To Be Friends

lovewhoreIt’s about to get real kumbaya in here. Roll your eyes all you want, but I stand by this.

Make friends with other sex workers. And make your friends a priority.

This will do more than save your sanity, it will improve your life immeasurably.

Most other jobs have some sort of workplace socialization or at the very least, interactions with your colleagues, in place. But sex work can be lonely, isolating, and confusing. Not only do people outside the industry not understand what you do for work, but they have preconceived notions and judgments to work through as well. And those friends are lovely and valuable as well.

But sometimes you need to be around people who intimately understand the work part of your life. You need to vent and bitch about work without having to explain yourself. You need to celebrate small successes along the way that your colleagues can relate to. You need to be able to laugh about your job.

Your friends will help keep you grounded and keep things in perspective. And that happens not just because they’re there for you, but because you give back to them. Listening to others’ stories and challenges within the sex industries can be powerful lessons.

I throw the words “solidarity” and “community” around a lot. But the places I’ve found them to be strongest have been through my friendships with other sex workers.

It’s not always in the grand gestures (though sometimes it is that too). It’s having drinks and laughing together about an absurd session. It’s crying on their shoulders when the internalized ho-shame crashes down on you for no reason. It’s listening sympathetically to them rage when they accidentally stumble on an anti-sex work blog and hate read it all morning.

It’s dreaming up a website to combat all the bad advice out there over margaritas. And then making it happen.

Naturally, I think that if sex workers had more resources to come together, support each other, and combine forces, we could solve a good deal of the worlds’ problems. I also think that we can start working on all that over brunch with copious amounts of muffins and champagne. That’s sort of the cornerstone of my politics.

Not convinced? Oh fine, you selfish bitch.

Making friends is a good business decision too. You fans will think it’s cool and sexy when you tweet photos of yourself hanging out with porn stars. You’ll learn about new kinks from your pro-Domme buddies. And you’ll have a wider network of people you can trust to work doubles with.

Not to mention you get to see your hot friends in sexy clothes… or no clothes… on a regular basis.

Be a good person. Be good to your communities. Be good to other sex workers.

Don’t be this asshole. These assholes don’t get invitations to the next Ho’ Down BBQ Picnic.

 

Lauren Kiley: Webcam Girl, Fetish Performer, Fetish Clip Producer, Former Escort, Activist, Dirty Girl Next Door.

Clips, Marketing, Sex Work

Make more money from fetish clips

So  your making fetish clips but feeling a little lost on what kind of clips you should be making moving forward. Should you specialize in chastity, financial domination or foot fetish? It’s hard to know exactly and even though you might think one niche is the obvious nice for you, it may turn out its not. Trying to force success in a niche that’s not responding to you can be very frustrating and extremely disappointing. Disappointing enough to give it up all together because you’re not succeeding as you hoped you would be. You don’t want to do that, you don’t want to give up. You want to make a workable plan for yourself and make the most out of your new fetish clip business. Here are some things you can try to help you be more successful making fetish clips.

1. Assess what you are willing to do on camera.

Maybe you never want to take your close off or you don’t want to show your face. Maybe you are not a thin as a rail, or you have great trash talking skills? Think about what it is you will and wont do on camera and remember a camera is forever. Think about what you do and do not possess, think about what you will and will not do. Take inventory of yourself. Will you show your boobs, perform sex acts or hide your face. You don’t have to do anything you are not comfortable with, there are women who are highly successful who never take off a lick of clothing. They are also have amazingly ho,t perfect bodies, are super glamorous women with great ideas and the ability to key in on a specific fantasy. Think about your limits and your assets and how that can lend its self to making clips.

2. Make more of what works.

Look at your sales, what did you sell last month? Foot clips? Domination POV? Chastity? Smoking? Whatever it was make more of that. If you sold more smoking clips then foot fetish clips then make 10 more smoking clips. Smoking in the shower, smoking in a fancy dress, smoking in a bikini, smoking POV, smoking very close up, smoking from a distance ignoring the viewer. You get the idea. Make them until you want to puke and cant stat to make another fucking smoking clip. Push yourself, make yourself make that batch of smoking clips. Then set them to upload though out the month. Watch your smoking fetish fan base expand. Don’t ignore the other kind of clips, just heavily focus on whats been working.

3. Join fetish forums

Google the fetish you’re making clips in and join the forum for that fetish. Trust me there’s a forum for everything. Find it. Then create a profile, add a picture and links to your clip store to it and  then introduce yourself. Interact with the people there. It doest have to be all involved just once a week go back to the forum and find a way to participate and remember to be nice! You’re building a fan base. You want to be a little accessible and you want people to click your links and become customers. Protip: keep a folder of your forums logins in your bookmarks makes it a lot easier to remember

4. Add at least one new fetish every time you film

Add something new and see if people respond to it. I once made “I cant believe the crap you freaks jerk off to” and people actually bought it! Now they didn’t buy it enough for me to make more then that one clip and it was kind of a joke but throw in a  new fetish you never thought about before. Expand your horizons. Look at the list of fetishes available on your clip site and then do something new every time you film. It might surprise you how you can then develop that into a brand new niche and money stream for yourself.

The most important thing is to keep at it persistence and hard work to pay off. You can make a good living making clips. While its true the porn stars are always going to make more money then the small niche specialist that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t  pursue what works for you and fits in with your comfort level.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, former GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer and Hypno-Domme