Tag Archives: community

Community, Escorting, Internet, Legal, Sex Work

Escort Safety in the age of SESTA – From Harlot Advocate

Congress did it, 97-2 they fucked escorts in the name of human trafficking. Trafficking hysteria has captured to minds of our elected officials, once again. All except for Ron Wyden and Ron fucking Paul.

I’m going to try to collect all the best advice I  can to help escorts stay safe with this new law that is waiting the Orange resident of the oval offices signature.

First up is from: @HarlotAdvocate   On Twitter.

I don’t personally know her… BUT shes got some real solid, reasonable advice on how to be safer.  Her Step by Step Guide on  how to stay safe if advertising avenues are shut down. As seen on Twitter and posted here, with her permission.

1. Commit an entire day from your calendar to follow these steps. Then bring a bucket of green tea, water, coffee, a bottle of two of wine to set the mood cause it’s a lot of work.

2. Log into your current email & start to organize.. Listing in this order the A) The Contributors/Providers States.
B) Which Contributors/Providers Have Been Seen & Safe.
C) Which Contributors Are Just PreScreened.
D) Who is Professional.
E) Who Is Not.
F) Who is Blocked.

3. Open 2 Proton Mail Accounts.
A) One for professional business name.
B) Second for recovery email.

Or use the amazing @SafeOffice because they are literally that awesome!

4. After you have organized your original professional email into those folders… Transfer that information them over to the new professional email accounts I have listed above that you have made for yourself.

5. Yes it is a ton of work but trust me your email and organizing is your absolute best option for maintaining clients & contributor relationships.
“If it’s based overseas you are good to go.”

6. Make an announcement to the clients that you are closing your old email accounts associated within wonderful USA & if you so choose send them to your new email address.

7. Drink whatever you need, bathroom breaks were not done.

8. Go to each of your advertisement platforms that are based in the US and remove any and all special keywords that can be associated with sex work. Such as uncheck that incall/outcall, roses, gfe girlfriend etc, pricing unless on your website.

9. Treat each US based advertising platform as a profile for strictly dating.. Like think your looking for a breath taking “dating profile.” Keep that thought, and write your content appropriately.

10. (missing in the line up)

11. Go on your twitter and social platforms and clean house. Remove anything and everything that can or will be perceived as a worker verses a dating profile. This included comments, DM messages, paid profile links, etc that allude to worker status verses dating status.

12. Contributors This Is For You.
No MORE DMs.. You need to approach only through email… That’s it.. Do not waste a dating profiles time when you are just seeking an emotional connection.. This puts them at risk. Stop it and keep it professional.

13. Girls with phones…. We all have them or used too. DO NOT USE YOUR PERSONAL PHONE FOR ANY WORK PURPOSES. You have two phones for two reasons you do not ever mix the two. One is for booking dating spots, one is for checking your grocery lists.

14. Girls with phones.. USE A VPN AT ALL TIMES. Keep it on the minute that phone is on and the minute that phone is off. That simple! Your preferred form of contact should always be email, from the new email you have provided.

15. When posting photo pictures from your cell phone.. Keep that VPN ON. Make sure you always always screenshot at least 5-6 times, zooming in, and posting it then.

16. Providers DO NOT POST cell phone pictures from the hotel you are staying at unless there is nothing that identifies that room. Still for me personally it’s a huge no no hence I don’t do it.

17. Providers & Contributors quit tagging the location where you are at while you are still there. That is just blatantly putting it out there!

18. Discretion is key to staying busy. Supporting one another is the key to keeping safe. Avoid the drama like the plague. Follow all my steps listed above and you will be good to go!

There you have it folks. I know its a lot of work, you know whats more work? Trying to get out on bail for a federal crime or trying to make rent with no job. 

Stay Safe Ladies….

Helpful links:

Safe Office:  https://safeoffice.com/lp/

What is a VPN: https://www.techradar.com/news/what-is-a-vpn

Burner Phones: https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/columnist/saltzman/2016/09/17/whats-a-burner-phone/90382874/

SWOP: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_Workers_Outreach_Project_USA

How to find your government reps: https://whoismyrepresentative.com/

ACLU: https://www.aclu.org/

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Escorting, Internet, Pro Domme, Sex Work

Backpage went poof!

Backpage was shut down. What happens next is panic. I know, I lived though the shut down of the Craig’s List Adult Services shut down. Try to stay calm. You will be okay, develop a new plan. Get to work implementing it.

Read this from a couple years ago, it was written after Redbook disappeared:  http://fairywhoremother.com/4-things-you-can-do-when-your-advertising-venue-disappears/

Here is a running list of places to advertise that still exist. (as of Jan 2017) Some of these cost money, some don’t. Some might be for local areas, others are nationwide. Do your research, see what works for you. Most of all know you will be OK. This happens, it sucks but you are a sex worker you’re already resourceful.  (if you have any sites to ad to this list  please reach out so i can add them. jenny@goodtimejenny.com or on Twitter @jennydemilo )

http://www.eros.com/

http://www.cityvibe.com/

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Escorting, Fetish Model, Internet, Marketing, Phone Sex, Pro Domme, Sex Work, Webcam

Creating Your Own Demand

Rule_34We all know about Rule 34: There is a fetish for everything. Everything has potential to turn someone on. It’s one of the best things about being a sex worker. You get to create your own niche to the extreme. But how exactly do you build demand once you’ve created your niche? The good news is that it is essentially really easy. The bad news is that it is time consuming. But nobody is going to be successful doing nothing, so I’m just going to assume that you’re not lazy and that you want to fucking work. First off, get your ass on social media. You can’t avoid social media anymore when you’re creating your demand. Hashtags are your best friend on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. But it’s so much more than that!! You have to also network. The sex worker community on Tumblr is one of my absolute favorites. People constantly build each other up, dish out hate on creepers, and reblog advertisements. Just remember that you’re expected to do the same! Use watermarked photos of yourself to advertise your services, whether you’re a pro-Domme, cammer, PSO or escort. Don’t just post the photo though, include your website(s) in the description!

Do a bit of research. Who are the people who have similar interests and where do they hang out? There are forums for just about every kink these days, and forums are a great place to start conversations with potential clients/customers.

Own what you do. Are you a POC into cosplay? Show off your geek knowledge along side your cosplaying photos. You have a personality (even if it’s a made up one), use it to your advantage. By making yourself a relatable individual, people will feel connected to you and more likely to support your services. This can be a problem when you’re a FemDom, as there is a fine balance between being too accessible and not enough. Find that balance! Do something different from everyone else. Nobody likes a copycat. Don’t copy other people!! It’s in poor taste. Standing out from the crowd will make you stand out in peoples’ minds.

Don’t wait for other people. You own you. You control what you do. You cannot expect to sit around and wait for others to make you successful. That’s not how this industry works. Find what you want to do and do it. Don’t wait for companies to hire you. Don’t wait for approval from anyone. Just fucking do it.

Nobody cares about your success more than you, so why on earth are you not doing anything about it? 

Sydney Screams: Fetish Model, Clip Producer, Adult Actress, Radio Talk Show Host

Escorting, Sex Work

Escort support services and staying above the fray

broken-trustEscort support services. Some are needed, others are looking to rip you off. Some you love, others you quite frankly hate. They are often a necessary evil when you’re an escort (or any sex worker really) They are your advertising venues, your photographers, your screening and safety services, your copy writers, web developers and marketing experts. You need what they  have to offer and they need your money.  It’s hard to trust them in this often dicey business. Its hard to trust anyone when what you do isn’t always legal. Some require your IDs ( advertising venues) others take sensitive photos of you (Photographers) some need your passwords (web developers) Some you trust to keep you safe when meeting clients (screening services) As an escort you make a calculated risk assessment on who to trust with your sensitive information and lets face it your money. They all want your money. Some provide value for service still others are trying to rip you off.

Some things to keep in mind when evaluating trust for an escort support service. Are they above the fray?

1. Do they get involved in petty fights?

Are they meddling in the business of escorts? Pitting them against each other on a message board to garner support for their position on something? Or fighting so hard for your money that they denigrate their competitors? Example: Does your screening or safety service bad mouth their competitors? Yes, they all want your business but do they actively try to get that business by putting down their competition using scare tactics, innuendo, rumor (often started by them) or any other backhanded means. IE do they talk a lot of shit publicly or with a whisper campaign. If they do watch out. Thats not professional and do you really want YOUR name and reputation associated with people who act like that. Not to mention they could and would those same tactics against you if they felt you in any way posed a threat to their business.

2. Are they professional in their communications?

Do they call you sweetie in a business email. Are they overly friendly leaning toward creepy because you have nude pictures on your website? Do they ask inappropriate questions or steer any business conversations towards sex. HUGE red flags. Run don’t walk to someone who will treat you with respect. This is your business not hot talk central.

3. Do they treat you like a professional person or like a dumb whore with too much money?

People often think escorting is recession proof. That escorts are rolling in dough 24/7. They also often think that escorts are too stupid to do anything other then fuck for money. Which is far from the truth but there are those support services that see you as marks. They should treat you professionally and if you at all get a whiff that they see you as someone to take advantage of then find someone else because they are not trustworthy.

4. Do they have an established long standing reputation?

Being in business a long time as an escort support service doesn’t automatically mean their trustworthy. However having a long standing reputation in a business atmosphere with a lot of turn over should carry weight. All business have their ups and downs but you generally want to deal with people who have more ups then downs. People who opt to stay out of the fray and drama. People who are known for not being busy bodies, belittlers, or shady. If a support service has too many incidents of  “he said she says” then I tend to stay away. New support service business are popping up all the time and just because someone is new doesn’t mean you should dismiss them out of hand but a splashy flashy website should take a back seat to a reference from a trusted colleague. You cant please 100% of the people all the time  and if a support business has been in business long enough you will have likely pissed someone off. However what kind of pissing off did they do? Did they over charge someone and then rectified the mistake? Or did they give out an escorts real name address and phone number because she pissed them off? All of that needs to be considered when weighing a supports service trustworthiness.

Be wary of any support services that tries to woo you into helping them by giving out personal information on competitors or how they do business.  The support services that stay in business the longest and have the best reputations are the ones that stay out of all that. That provide value for money and are discreet when they need to be and professional always. You vet your clients to make sure they are safe you should be doing the same with your escort support services.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, Hypno-Domme and former GFE Escort

Follow Jenny DeMilo on Twitter

Community, Money Management, Sex Work

Death and taxes, okay just taxes

Uncle Sam Another year has come to a close and that means it’s time do start worrying about your taxes. But I’m a sex worker, I don’t pay taxes you say. BAD idea! Everyone needs to pay their taxes be you PSO or escort. Uncle Sam wants the cut of your money he’s entitled to and it’s a good idea to give it to him so you don’t get caught up in him just taking it from you and he will just take it away from you.  Uncle Sam doesn’t care if you’re a hooker or a cam girl he just wants his money. Besides it’s good to pay your taxes for other reasons. Do you ever want credit? Want to buy a house someday? Get a car loan? Health insurance? Those are just some of the things you may need to show your tax returns to accomplish. Now that you’ve decided to be a productive member of society you need to fill out those pesky tax forms and saying “prostitute”  or “Dominatrix”  under the what do you do for a living part may not be what you want on your tax forms. That’s okay, you can say “model” or better yet say  “consultant”  Thats vague enough but is also mundane enough that it will just be glanced over. Lots of people are consultants you do not need to specify what kind of consultant. Problem one solved!

Depending on the kind of sex work you do you may get 1099 forms from the work you’ve done, or you may not. You still have to declare your actual income, even if you don’t get a form. If you’re an escort or pro domme and work only for yourself you will get nothing from no one. You still need to declare your income. It’s a good idea to begin the year keeping records of your income and expenses but thats an article for another time. If you are a cam girl, PSO, adult actress, dancer, adult content producer, fetish model and the list goes on and one you will likely get 1099’s from some companies and nothing from others. You are what is called an independent contractor/ sole proprietor which is commonly referred to as a freelancer. It’s your responsibility to keep track of your income so you can report it at the end of they year. Plus knowing what you make helps you budget in areas of the rest of  your life. You know like knowing if you are living above your means.

Now that you know what you make, its time to figure out what you can deduct as business expenses.

This about it like this, what things are you paying to run your business? Internet connection? Web hosting, domain names? Did you buy equipment this year for your clip shooting business? Did you pay a photographer for new pictures or take out expensive advertising on that pricey escort mall site? Those things are likely deductible. If you have a home office you can not deduct the full cost of your rent but you can deduct a portion of it. Usually based on the square footage of your office compared to the square footage of the entire place. Don’t try to scam the system keep track of your legitimate expenses. No those new $300 jeans you bought are not a “costume”

Viola you’re well on your way to filling your taxes. It sucks that you may (probably) will have to be cutting a check to Uncle Sam. No one likes that but nothing is being withheld from your earnings, including social security. You need to be prepared to be an responsible adult and write that check even if your hand shakes when you do it. I know mine does, every single fucking year.

Official disclaimer: I’m not a CPA or a tax attorney or anything along those lines. Sex worker friendly people in those professions are out there willing to take you on as a client if you look hard enough.  I’m just a sex worker who pays her taxes who’s trying to help figure out how to pay yours.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, Hypno-Domme and former GFE Escort

Follow Jenny DeMilo on Twitter