Monthly Archives: June 2013

Pro Domme, Sex Work

So You Wanna Be A Pro-Domme

So you’re thinking about getting into sex work and working as a Pro-Domme? You’ve always been interested or rather fascinated  in the  mysterious and alluring fetish world and have spent more then a few evenings in your local fetish and goth clubs checking everything out and you know you’d just be great at Dominating men for fat stacks of easy money. It’s not as easy as you think and many hopefuls have gotten nowhere fast by not thinking it through. Here are somethings to remember if you think being a Dominatrix is in your future.

1.  Have skill

Being a Domme is more then just looking good in latex, you need to have actual skill. Take a mental inventory of your abilities and be honest. It’s best not to offer strict shabari bondage or suspension if you don’t know what the fuck you are doing. If you are great at trash talking then maybe mental domination is your thing, if you have amazing flexible feet then think about foot fetish, if you have experience in OTK spanking then do that. Remember the goal might be to cause pain or discomfort but you never want to cause harm. If you don’t feel you have fetish skills in your arsenal to hang out a shingle then its time to invest in some classes, they exist!

2. Look good

One of the big turn on for clients is the look of the Dominatrix he’s seeing. It doesn’t mean you have to have a perfect body, or a 50K wardrobe but you should be pulled together ad have a few things to wear in sessions that make you look amazing and intimidating. Maybe your speciality is OTK spanking then you might want to cultivate a 1950’s  headmistress look, think about what your offering and think about how that should translate into your Dominatrix persona.

3.  Getting the client off

Lets just admit it, clients go see a Domme because it turns them on. What ever their predilection is it’s because they get a sexual charge out of it and they want to get off to whatever that is. Now how this happens is totally up to you and you should know your boundaries going into it. Most clients jerk themselves off towards the end of the session at the direction of the Domme.  Some Dommes offer strap on services (fucking your client in the ass with a dildo, yeah that is prostitution) I know you heard  that being a Dominatrix meant no sex and you’ve read all the hundreds of disclaimers on many a Dommes website saying they are not prostitutes.  Though I do know of a Domme or two who will actually fuck their clients most don’t offer intercourse, many never even take their shinny latex clothes off.   Almost all allow their clients to get off in one way or another because seeing a dominatrix is a sexual experience. It’s up to you to chose how far your willing to go. Remember to protect yourself if you decide to offer more sexually based services. Person to person contact will almost always put you in the same realm as escorts by law enforcement and you need to take precautions

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, former GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer and Hypno-Domme

 

Clips, Marketing, Sex Work

Make more money from fetish clips

So  your making fetish clips but feeling a little lost on what kind of clips you should be making moving forward. Should you specialize in chastity, financial domination or foot fetish? It’s hard to know exactly and even though you might think one niche is the obvious nice for you, it may turn out its not. Trying to force success in a niche that’s not responding to you can be very frustrating and extremely disappointing. Disappointing enough to give it up all together because you’re not succeeding as you hoped you would be. You don’t want to do that, you don’t want to give up. You want to make a workable plan for yourself and make the most out of your new fetish clip business. Here are some things you can try to help you be more successful making fetish clips.

1. Assess what you are willing to do on camera.

Maybe you never want to take your close off or you don’t want to show your face. Maybe you are not a thin as a rail, or you have great trash talking skills? Think about what it is you will and wont do on camera and remember a camera is forever. Think about what you do and do not possess, think about what you will and will not do. Take inventory of yourself. Will you show your boobs, perform sex acts or hide your face. You don’t have to do anything you are not comfortable with, there are women who are highly successful who never take off a lick of clothing. They are also have amazingly ho,t perfect bodies, are super glamorous women with great ideas and the ability to key in on a specific fantasy. Think about your limits and your assets and how that can lend its self to making clips.

2. Make more of what works.

Look at your sales, what did you sell last month? Foot clips? Domination POV? Chastity? Smoking? Whatever it was make more of that. If you sold more smoking clips then foot fetish clips then make 10 more smoking clips. Smoking in the shower, smoking in a fancy dress, smoking in a bikini, smoking POV, smoking very close up, smoking from a distance ignoring the viewer. You get the idea. Make them until you want to puke and cant stat to make another fucking smoking clip. Push yourself, make yourself make that batch of smoking clips. Then set them to upload though out the month. Watch your smoking fetish fan base expand. Don’t ignore the other kind of clips, just heavily focus on whats been working.

3. Join fetish forums

Google the fetish you’re making clips in and join the forum for that fetish. Trust me there’s a forum for everything. Find it. Then create a profile, add a picture and links to your clip store to it and  then introduce yourself. Interact with the people there. It doest have to be all involved just once a week go back to the forum and find a way to participate and remember to be nice! You’re building a fan base. You want to be a little accessible and you want people to click your links and become customers. Protip: keep a folder of your forums logins in your bookmarks makes it a lot easier to remember

4. Add at least one new fetish every time you film

Add something new and see if people respond to it. I once made “I cant believe the crap you freaks jerk off to” and people actually bought it! Now they didn’t buy it enough for me to make more then that one clip and it was kind of a joke but throw in a  new fetish you never thought about before. Expand your horizons. Look at the list of fetishes available on your clip site and then do something new every time you film. It might surprise you how you can then develop that into a brand new niche and money stream for yourself.

The most important thing is to keep at it persistence and hard work to pay off. You can make a good living making clips. While its true the porn stars are always going to make more money then the small niche specialist that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t  pursue what works for you and fits in with your comfort level.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, former GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer and Hypno-Domme

Escorting

Review Fall Out

Escort reviews are tricky business. Some hate them, some love them some just want to ignore the fact that they exist. The decision to allow yourself to be reviewed is a personal one. Some people swear by them and all that being involved in the review website culture offers. Others swear they don’t do anything to help their business and hate them, flat out. Others refuse to participate at all and ignore how they impact the industry as a whole. Reviews are personal and the opinions on them are about as diverse as stars in the sky. That’s a lot of fucking diversity. If you are an escort that allows reviews you will inevitably come up against a not so glowing review or worse a complete fake one. It happens and it will happen to you eventually if you stick around the business long enough. Here are a couple of things to help you keep your sanity when one of those two things happen.

1. Its only one persons opinion

This is a fact, a review is just one persons opinion about an event in which the reviewer was a active participant. If the experience was bland or not as thrilling as the client wanted well he was there too. Lots of times clients have unrealistic expectations about what an encounter will be. They’ve spent a long time building up in their head and saving their pennies and forget that they are there to participate and would like to hold the escort responsible as if shes the only one involved in the encounter.  Some sadly are just giant assholes. We cant be all things to all people, we can only do the best job we can when meeting with clients. One mediocre review isn’t going to change anything! Seriously it’s not! Hell I know ladies with many not so favorable reviews that do just fine and don’t let the criticism affect them. It just rolls off  their backs like water off a duck. Just remember to tell yourself that you did your best to meet that clients needs and move on and focus on other things that do mater.

2. Fake reviews happen try to minimize how you react to it

You got a fake review, it happens to the best of us! Sometimes fake reviews are good an sometimes they are bad. In any event no one likes it when people make stuff up about them. You have several options after getting a fake review. You can message the poster and ask him if hes mixed you up with someone else. Be nice and try to keep your cool, don’t blast him for being the dirt bag he is. Give him a reason to remove it all on his own. I find sweetness and guilt can work wonders. Some review websites will work with you if you believe a review to be fake. Give them the info they need to take it down. If your tour schedule shows you are in Idaho when this guy from Rhode Island posted your fake review you might be able to get the site to remove it all on their own. If you are connected enough ask a third party  respected by both sides of the equation to mediate the dispute. It doesn’t always work but sometimes, just sometimes it does. If all else fails just forget the fake review is there. You think all those reviews on Yelp are real? They’re not and the more that the world gets involved with review culture ( yes, I just did say that) the less impact any reviews of any business or service has.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, former GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer and Hypno-Domme