Tag Archives: social media

Internet, Phone Sex, Sex Work, Time Management, Webcam

Hacking Your Productivity

Time SuckOne of the perils of being an online sex worker is well… all that online access! I’m a Phone Sex Operator (PSO) set up to take calls through a convoluted online set up that works for me *knocks on wood*. But if I was a betting woman (and I am), I’d be willing to put a pretty penny or two on the assertion that any successful PSO or Web Cam Entertainer puts in as much, if not more, time into the grunt work of running an online business (web development, content creation, emails, social media, branding, marketing, etc.) as they do actually interacting with Clients, even those conducting calls through a traditional landline. And while I know this and consider myself to be doing OK, I know I could be doing things that would be a whole heck of a lot more productive than getting distracted with the shiny time sucks out there that don’t help make my bank account grow wild with cash. You know what I’m talking about: Forums, Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Reddit, Youtube, etc.

Sure, some of these things can be  super helpful in growing your business. But if you’re anything like me, it’s also easy to get way distracted and be surprised that your 5 minute fun break turned into a lost hour (or two)! And oh no! Now it’s “prime hard-on” time and you don’t want to get in the middle of a project because the horny guys are going to start calling. Bummer! Guess you won’t be finishing that MP3 script today like you hoped…

I’m all about self and process improvement. So today, I’m sharing with you two tools that have helped me hack my own bad habits to improve my productivity.

  • Stay Focusd is an extension for Google Chrome that allows you to define a max number of minutes allowed on a site per day. You can even limit the window of distraction free browsing to particular days of the week or a range of time per day. You can block sub domains (like just the forum of a website and not the whole website itself). And you can even set a blurb of text that you have to type correctly to gain access to a site if so desired. Though that seems a little sadomasochist to me.
  • Rescue Time is an app that runs in the background of your computer and tracks the time you spend in applications and websites. You can tell it how useful or distracting something is. And you can log in to see daily stats or get a weekly email that serves for me personally as a moment of self reflection and goal setting. I like hard data that holds me accountable to myself. It’s easy to slack off on fun stuff, but seeing an overview of where my time went is a cold hard kick in the booty to get my priorities straight.

What tips, tricks or tools do you utilize to make yourself more productive? Share your insights in the comments section below!

Sarah Does Phone Sex, is a phone sex operator. You can find Sarah on Twitter, read her blog or even give her a call.

Escorting, Internet, Self Care, Sex Work

Stalkers how to avoid them what to do when they target you

stalker1Stalkers suck thats a fact. Its also the most common problem ( besides law enforcement) that escorts have to deal with. In fact most sex workers from strippers to pro Dommes, from cam girls to adult actors will at one point have a brush with a stalker. Sometimes its not a very serious threat and its someone just making small amounts of trouble for attention.  Sometimes it can cost you your life. Its hard to tell which is which so you want to treat all stalkers like its a serious threat and take the appropriate action. You want to avoid stalkers whenever possible and if (when) you are unfortunate enough to have one intrude on your life you want to take appropriate action to minimize their effect on your life.

Some things you can do to help you avoid a stalker.

Never tell a client your real name

This should be a no brainer but its sadly not. Never tell a client your real name. Also never tell anyone you might suspect of not being trustworthy your real name. They might turn around and tell a client. Example: An escort friend of mine was dating a man who used to see escorts. I socialized with them and they both knew my real name.  When they broke up he began harassing me (hello crazy). He knew my real name and used that to his advantage to try and scare me. I’ts best to have a fake real name, something everyone thinks is your real name that isn’t. This isn’t always possible but keeping the number of people who know you are a sex worker and in turn know your real name is something to strive for.

Clients press sex workers for their real names. It makes them feel special/powerful to be the person you gave your real name too. Don’t be tempted. Give them your fake real name, something you can easily remember and that you go to all the time. Make it plain and simple. Pick a name thats very common so if a client wants to Google the name you gave him it returns 500,00 “Maria Garcics” or “Ashley Johnsons” (Protip: pick a fake real name that a minor celebrity already has to increase the Google returns on your fake name)

Disinformation

Don’t give out too many personal details about yourself. If you are a current college student don’t tell them that. If you are a former college student and you use that in your marketing then never tell anyone the real college you went to. In fact make up a different degree you got. If you were a history major at Rutgers tell clients you were a English major at USC. If you are from the mid-west and have an accent from that region then tell people you are from a neighboring state. Make your answers reasonable but make them fake. Its hard when you spend so much time with clients not to slip up so make a fake history that closely resembles your own history but doesn’t give any clues that could lead back to finding the real you.  Give them clues to finding nothing. Disinformation is a sex workers best friend if you’re worried about stalkers.

Don’t do incall appointments out of your home

This one can be tricky because renting an incall location is expensive but don’t be tempted by the cash you can save. Never let a client know where you live and that’s impossible if you see them in  your home. It only takes one crazy to make your life a living hell. You also have the added bonus if you encounter the law doing incall out of your home they can confiscate pretty much anything as “evidence”. At a hotel or professional dungeon etc you don’t have items that can be taken from you, you only have what you bring in. Wanna know how often you get confiscated items back? Not very.

Never let a client walk you to your car

They can and will right down the make model and license number.  That goes for meet and greets too. Don’t let people see you get in or out of your car. Though motor vehicles deparments records are supposed to be hard to access, they are a lot more accessible then you think. Park your car around the corner from an outcall, valet the car at a hotel, take public transportation if its possible.

Lock down your social media

Social media is all the rage but how much of it do you really need as a sex worker. Figure that out. Use what works for you and disregard the rest. Do you really need a hooker Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter? If you use Twitter in your regular life don’t have a hooker twitter, its too easy to make a mistake and accidentally tweet on the wrong stream. Facebook is its own animal they use facial recognition software and well display your hooker Facebook to your non hooker friends ” Do you know inset hooker name here” Facebook’s TOS and privacy change so often that its really not worth having it.

If you have non work related social media, lock it down. Make your Twitter private. Make sure your Facebook is private and all the information along with it (what groups you’re in, who your friends are etc) Do not use a picture of your face as the icon. Don’t use posted pictures across social media. Example don’t post the same picture of your cute dog in your hooker Twitter stream and on your personal Facebook. Also turn off your geo-location… on everything!

Those are a few things you can do to avoid being in a position to be stalked in the first place. However if a stalker takes an interest in you, how you react to him is critical. Sometimes a stalker just wants you feel scared and they will threaten to out you. To family, friends, co-workers, the IRS. Sometimes they threaten and are intent on actual harm. If at anytime you feel physically threatened then its imperative you call the authorities ASAP.

Do not engage

This is hard because you will want to tell them to fuck off but do not engage them. Do not give them attention, delete ignore, delete ignore is your mantra. Do not give them any attention, nothing, nada, zip. Stalkers want your attention. They want to scare you, they want to know they are having an effect on you, some want to hurt you. They often escalate if you give them attention. They can get emboldened with even the slightest drop of attention. That’s not to say they wont escalate if you ignore them they may but often a casual stalker, someone who just wants to cause you some trouble will move on if he doesn’t get the rise out of you he wants.

Document

Screen shots, saved emails, saved letters, if the harassment has already intruded on your life beyond online into the physical then keep a diary/journal if everything thats happening no matter how insignificant it is. Remember to date and time everything. Be diligent.

Investigate:

Who could be stalking you? figure it out. Narrow it down. If you did appointments out of your house and you get threats sent to you in the mail make a list of who knows your address. If its someone who references something you said on twitter/facebook and your work twitter/facebook is private make a list of who it could be. Cross references the lists. Often stalkers will give themselves away in the details. Pay attention to them. You can often figure out who’s stalking you and that will help you asses how serious the threat is.

Move: 

If you are being harassed where you live then it might be time to move. That sucks i know but your safey is important. If you did incall out of your home and you are being stalked then its time to move out of there. Get a PO box if you move and have all your mail forwarded there not to the new address. Stalkers can be clever, I heard of one who had their victims mail re-routed to their address. For reals. Keep your new location secret. Don’t tweet what city you live in, don’t put your city on your Facebook.

Report to the authorities

Stalking is crime and many cities have anti-stalking laws already on the books. Yours might or it might not but its still a crime and if you are being physically threatened then you need to report this. This will be hard because often LE will not look favorably on you and will try to dismiss you out of hand. Be persistent. Take a friend with you, someone who can advocate for you if you need it. Someone to give you moral support as you tell the police about your stalking. The trick here is you MUST be honest with them. You have to let them know you are a sex worker. This too will not be easy. You may be judged.. harshly. However your safety matters and you must take all steps to protect yourself. Where I live theres a well known officer of the law that actually works with sex workers on these types of issues. There might be one in your city as well. You will want to bring all your documentation with you. If you have figured out who your stalker is then you will want to investigate getting a TRO (temporary restraining order) You will need documentation for this as well, you will need to appear credible. Speak clearly to the officer/judge. Wear a business suit and look professional. Don’t give them any excuse to dismiss you and not take your issue seriously. Because it is serious.

Resources:

http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center

http://www.stalkinghelpline.org/

http://www.novabucks.org/otherinformation/stalking/

http://www.womenshealth.gov/violence-against-women/types-of-violence/stalking.html

I have been stalked/harassed both as an escort and in my regular life. As much as it caused me emotional distress, I was fortunate enough that my stalker(s) only wished to cause me trouble and it never went further then that. If you are stalked be prepared to be outed. Often this threat is what the stalker uses to harass you. Know that this could happen and prepare yourself for your friends and family knowing about your profession if they don’t already. Prepare yourself that this could go further and at some point you may have to report this stalking. Take all threats seriously. Do whatever you need to do to protect yourself that includes setting yourself up not to be stalked in the first place.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, Hypno-Domme and former GFE Escort

Follow Jenny DeMilo on Twitter

Internet, Marketing

Putting Content Marketing To Work As a Sex Worker

content-marketing-wheelContent marketing is the method of using your expertise to attract potential clients. Usually, content marketing involves maintaining a blog that acts as a “how to” regarding industry related questions, and is by no means a fast pay off. Content marketing has shown great success in industries ranging from real estate to finances to homemaking skills (why do you think celebrity cooks have top selling cookbooks and popular, make reservations weeks in advance restaurants?). That’s great, but what does that mean for us sex workers, and should we be putting it to work?

I don’t know about you lot, but I’m flooded by emails and twitter @’s asking for advice regularly on how to get started and how to do X, Y or Z. I mean, hello, this blog exists for a reason!! Personally, I hate writing 101’s for people when I had to figure things out on my own years ago when even fewer resources existed out there. There’s a very natural mindset that exists within some of us about not wanting to share our secrets with our competitors, especially when they’re complete strangers.

But, here’s the thing.

Sharing secrets is working in other industries. There is no reason to believe that content marketing wouldn’t work for sex workers either. Many of us already maintain blogs or tumblrs or twitters, and even more of us tout that we’re experts or the “go to” gal or guy for whatever our specialty is. So why aren’t we proving it? If your online reviews call you queen of the bj, maybe it’s time you write a blog about what you do that make your blowjobs so special. Or if your feet are a sought after commodity, share what your day to day routine is for keeping them in perfect condition.

The idea behind content marketing isn’t to share 100% of the secrets or tips. The idea is to show that we know what we’re doing, and that we’re the best at what we do. This is especially vital now that Google+ has teamed up with WordPress and other online publishing sites to link it back to your Google+ profile (with your profile photo by the link, which gives you extra credibility). Why’s that important since less than 1/4 of Google+ profiles are active? 1-it makes plagiarism a bit harder. 2-it will improve your Google ranking. 3-if you don’t want to be higher in Google ranking, there’s something wrong with you.

Let’s face it; vanilla marketing trends are just as relevant for us as they are for the outside world. Ignoring them isn’t something any of us can afford to do, so put those blogs, tumblrs, twitters and youtube channels to work!!

Sydney Screams: Fetish Model, Clip Producer, Adult Actress, Radio Talk Show Host

Internet, Marketing, Money Management, Sex Work

Work Smarter – The Marketing Edition

Marketing is probably the most time consuming aspect of success in the adult industry. Actually, I should correct that statement to encompass all industries, not just the adult industry. Because there is no one sure fire way to be successful at marketing, it involves a lot of trial and error. Sometimes you’ll find that one venue of marketing works amazingly, but then six months later maybe it’s a completely different venue. This royal pain in the ass also happens to be your best friend in the path towards success. Be careful though, it sometimes feels like an uphill battle. In stilettos. Since marketing is an ongoing trial and error process, your first instinct may be to advertise one month on one website and then the next month switch to another website. This can definitely have its ups, but an ad needs to be seen at least 3 times for the audience to make a decision on the product or service. Assuming someone goes to a website once a week, your ad would have to be guaranteed to show up each time they visit that website for them to remember you. That seems like it would be easy, until you factor in that you are not the only advertiser on a website. Most websites use banners that either change every 5-7 seconds or that change each time you click to a new page within the website. Give your ad on the site a 3 month trial period. If you haven’t gotten at least a 10-20% return on your investment, it is definitely time to look elsewhere.

When you’re paying for advertising, be smart about where you spend your money. A fellow producer friend of mine decided to invest by advertising on a popular fetish based tube site, which seems like a great idea except he advertised on a niche fetish tube site and his site doesn’t cater to that specific niche! Of course he was really disappointed by the results since he didn’t get a return on his investment, but he made the mistake of not investing intelligently! Make educated decisions on where and how you spend your advertising budget (do your research!!) so that you don’t end up making the same mistake.

If instead of paying for advertising, you’re doing your own advertisement, consider where and how you’ll be doing it. Are you sticking primarily to forums and interaction with potential customers to drive traffic your way? Maybe you’re running a blog or twitter? Consider this for a moment: what is your hourly rate for a cam show or session? Are your efforts at marketing bringing you that rate for each hour devoted to the cause? If you’re spending 3 hours a day tweeting, and your hourly session rate is $250, that’s $750 worth of work. Did you make that money up? Did you book a session during those 3 hours directly off twitter? No matter how you are advertising, you need to expect a return on your investment, which means not only did you make back the time and money spent, but your earnings go above and beyond that.

If you are advertising by your own means rather than a third party site, use tools that are readily available such as Google Analytics, keywords/search terms, social media sites, and forums (where you are allowed to market yourself. Check the forums TOS before posting ads!). Remember that time is money, and if you’re spending all of your time posting ads and trying to drive up traffic there needs to be a return. Perhaps you spend 10 minutes writing a blog post, be sure to add keywords to make finding you easier. Or maybe you’re tweeting, spend 30 minutes scheduling your tweets to post at popular tweeting hours. See if people you know are willing to do a banner exchange to help drive traffic to each others’ sites or blogs.

There is a lot that can be done to advertise on the internet, and taking advantage of all the avenues is one of the best thing you can do. Whether you decide to pay for advertising or do it yourself, make sure that you’re smart about it. Don’t present yourself or your brand in a bad light, choose the right venues for advertising, and make sure that your ad or banner catches the eye and is memorable!

Follow Sydney Screams on Twitter @sydneyscreams4u

Sydney Screams: Fetish Model, Clip Producer, Adult Actress, Radio Talk Show Host

Internet, Marketing, Sex Work

Think Before You Tweet

Over sharing is an epidemic on the Internet. All kinds of people share way too much about themselves and their daily activities. From pictures of their lunch ad nauseum to tweeting live during a bad date without their new companion knowing the horrible things they are saying about them behind their back. For a sex worker how much personal info to share with the world can be difficult waters to navigate. Lots of our business be you escort or adult film star comes from personality. People think they know you as a result they buy your films, clips, web-cam time or book an in person session and that’s a good thing. You want them to feel like they know you or at least know your “persona” but there’s a line to walk between the personal and the over personal.  For example, you don’t want to fucking tweet about your gonorrhea! For the love of god learn the line between sharing and OVER sharing.

When you’re feeling depressed that might be a good time to get off line and not tweet or blog a long sad woe is me blog. When the money isn’t flowing do not tweet about it, no one wants to eat in an empty restaurant. Instead plan some new ways to bring in cash, do not write a long emo style I cant make any money in this business dissertation about how no one likes you, in hopes that the anonymous masses will come rescue you. They wont and you will probably attract trolls and then you have a whole new problem.  When you get knocked up by a client ( we all know what “uninhibited experience” or whatever jargon is being used means) do not tweet about it and then go on to tweet  every move you make from getting Plan B, to its subsequent failure, to your trip to get your abortion.  No your protected tweets wont stop everyone from knowing, your over sharing will only get passed around in email. It might be alright for Amanda Palmer to sing about the abortion she got in college, shes an artist trying to make a point. Your a sex worker and that kinda sharing isn’t going to gain you money, clients or respect among your peers. I would even go so far as to say it wont bring you the sympathetic words, thoughts and deeds from the Internet you are hoping it will bring you.

Yes, we all have bad days. Yes, we all make mistakes, but do not forget that when you are a sex worker your brand is who you are. You wouldn’t see “Coke” tweeting about how they are being sued by a customer over their product making people fat, or  big Tobacco writing long blogs about people saying mean things about them and accusing them of giving people cancer in hopes that the Internet would feel sorry for them. No, they keep that shit under wraps. Why? Because info like that could hurt their brand and subsequently their pocketbooks. Big Tobacco doesn’t want people thinking cancer when they think cigarettes and you don’t want potential customers to think pathetic, unsafe, crazy, or stupid when they think of you. You want to manage the bad info not increase it nor do you want to shine a bight shinny light on it. If you get an STI, go to the doctor and do whatever you need to do to fix that problem. Don’t tweet pictures of yourself in the stirrups at the gyno getting your PAP with a caption “My STI and Me” #ImUnsafe. If you are having a bad day and feel sad, take it off line and talk to a friend about it. They care about you they will take the time to prop you up when you feel sad or down or are having a bad day. When you get knocked up and have to cancel a tour, say it’s because you have a family emergency not because you raw dogged a client and now have to “get rid of your little problem” don’t attention seek from the Internet. You will only turn potential money off and the goal here is to make more money, not less money. Learn how to ride the line of the personal and too personal because you want potential customers to feel like they know you, with out giving too much about yourself away. It takes time to master and we all stumble but think before you tweet, blog, or act out on the tubes. Will this temper tantrum hurt my business, will this tweet come back to haunt my bottom line? Will this blog/tweet/post help my wallet or a the very least not hurt it.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer, Phone Sex Operator and Hypno-Domme.