Tag Archives: Escorting

Escorting, Sex Work

Secrets and what you do for a living

What do you do for work? To most people this is a simple question with a simple answer. However, for an escort it can be daunting to answer weather the answer is a down right lie or the gods honest  truth. For years I’ve  personally been honest with close friends and family about “Ginger” but, there are many occasions where I do need to make up an acceptable lie about my occupation. I hate doing it but, it’s a means of protection and acceptance. Here are a few suggestions and tips for the people in your life that require a less than honest answer about what its is you actually do for a living.

Stripper: Explains excess cash, odd hours, constant personal maintenance. Now that answer might not be your first choice but, its only a half lie and hey it sounds way better than prostitute

Small Business Marketing Consulting: great for touring pros, explains constantly being glued to your phone, travel to odd places, random fluxes of cash. Weather or not you realize it you’re a mini marketing diva and you probably know more about small business marketing then most kids coming out of college with a BA in marketing.

“_______” Consulting: fill in the blank, being a consultant gives you freedom to have a cool fake job in any sector.

Never lie about having a job at a physical location. Nothing like mom poping up at your fake job and finding out you lied, exception being strip club if your family wants to come see you at work in a club you’ve got bigger issues at hand then telling people what you do for a living. The two people you should never lie to about your occupation are, your lover or  anyone you are having an intimate relationship with. They have the RIGHT to know you are putting their sexual health at risk and you own then honesty. The other is yourself,  if you are not mentally strong enough or prepared to accept what you actually do for work, get out of the business now.

Ginger McNaughty: National Touring Escort

Follow Ginger on Twitter @GingerMcNaughty

 

Escorting, Fetish Model, Money Management, Pro Domme, Sex Work, Uncategorized, Webcam

So You Want to Quit Your Day Job

So you want to quit your day job…

Ok, first thing? Don’t.
Not right away, anyway. You’ve got some serious planning to do first, sugarbritches! It took me nearly a year to get everything ready to go from working in this industry part-time to making it my full-time job and my sole means of income. If this is a choice that you have the luxury of making in advance, make the most of the time you have to make the move as painless as possible.

Are you making at least the same amount of money whoring part-time that you are while working full-time at the day job? If the answer is no, stop reading this article and start honing your skills in your chosen field and come back after the answer is yes. When you’re getting your footing while moving into being your own boss all the time, you’re going to need to take time figuring out a new rhythm, a new schedule, a new well… everything. This could very well eat into your planned “work week” at the beginning and allowing yourself enough time to adjust will save you some serious gray hairs. Especially since there really aren’t any guaranteed paychecks in this biz, bogging yourself down with “holy shit I have to whore for 60 hours to make this week’s bills.” will kill you. KILL YOU. So yes, make sure you are comfortably making your current pay with part-time effort right out of the gate. it will make your transition that much easier. There will be booming times and lean times, be prepared.

Are you prepared to no longer have a mainstream job as an answer when someone asks you what you do for a living? Do you plan on being “out”? To whom? These are questions that you may not have had to think about when this was just a part-time gig but once you are all-in, be prepared to be asked about this “great new job you’ve started” and you should have an answer ready, (whatever it may be) for people that matter to you. Obviously, not everyone needs to know your business but be prepared to be asked, and be asked often. This is also a good time to remind you that at some point in time you could possibly be recognized or god forbid, outted.

Have a hefty amount in savings put away before you give your notice. I hope you’ve been saving your whore money while you’ve been slaving away at your day job because you really never know what adjustments you’re going to need to make once you make your ho job your only job. I saved 6 months worth of expenses because my husband had been laid off the year before and that showed me how important a safety net was, especially with a mortgage.

Let’s talk health insurance. Because let’s be real, this is a giant issue for us all and if you’re leaving a job without health insurance, you better have a plan to replace it. Many of us go without, on a hope and a prayer and lord knows that shit ain’t smart. (I was lucky enough to only have to wait a few months until open enrollment for my husband’s plan through his employer. I know how lucky I was to have had that option.) Paying out of pocket for every last bit of health insurance you’ll need can get CRAZY expensive, and hopefully the Affordable Healthcare Act will help lessen some of the burden in the future. Regardless, it’s always a good idea to do your research and plan for what decisions you’ll need to make.

So yes, if Sex Work is the job you love (or love to hate) and the career path you’re choosing, please don’t jump in hastily. Plan ahead, save your money and come to terms with whatever social hangups others will have about your profession before making the leap.
It’ll serve you well in the long run.

 

Savannah Darling: Fetish Specialist, Webcam Mistress, Phone Sex Operator, Professional Domina

Escorting, Legal, Pro Domme, Sex Work

Intercourse is intercourse

People ask all the time from seasoned pros to young hopefuls looking to get into the sex business. Even clients who are looking for a way to beat the system ask.  They ask over and over and over. It’s one of my most searched terms on my websites “is using a strap on on a client prostitution?” The hope is always that no, fucking someone with a strap-on in exchange for cash isn’t considered prostitution. Hope does spring eternal. The simple fact is intercourse is intercourse and fucking someone with your hand, your sexual organs, your mouth or an object in exchange for cash is prostitution. There’s no getting around it. You can call yourself a Pro Domme and maybe you are or maybe you hope to be but if you offer strap-on play as one of your services then you are engaging in an act of prostitution. In some states (most check your local laws) just agreeing to such an act will get you popped and off you will go on a ride to the county clink. I know people want to believe it’s somehow legal to fuck someone with a strap on for cash because its seems like a gray area but its not, Its not a gray area its an act of prostitution. Don’t try to game the system by lying to yourself about what it is your doing. Just accept the fact that what you are offering isn’t legal and take the necessary precaution if you decide to offer this activity be you Pro Domme or provider and screen your potential clients to make sure you’re not putting yourself in a bad position or harms way in terms of your freedom.

You don’t have to call your self a prostitute and  leave those disclaimers up in your website that say you’re a Pro Domme not a hooker if it makes you feel better but it wont protect you if you offer illegal activities and you happen to be unlucky enough to be the one who booked the session with a man in a undercover uniform. Hookers all have disclaimers on their sites too, you know the ones “all fees are for time and companionship only… blah blah” they also wont help if you get arrested. Only screening can help you. Only weeding out possible bad situations can help you. There is never no risk when you are engaging in activities frowned upon by penal code XYZ, but the idea is to minimize your risk. Your best tool in that is to screen your clients and screen well.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer, Phone Sex Operator and Hypno-Domme

Community, Escorting, Fetish Model, Sex Work, Uncategorized, Webcam

Being Your Very Own Fairy Whore Mother… or maybe not?

a.k.a, When and How to Help a Fellow Whore and When to Politely Decline.

Now as you know, we over here at Fairy Whore Mother thought there was a severe lack in resources for sex workers in the realm of “How-To” (or in some cases, “How-NOT-To”).  So, being that ‘necessity is the mother of invention’ and all that happy horseshit, add in the fact that we like helping and love our community and VOILA!, you have the awesomeness that is FWM. We also like seeing others reaching out to help one another survive in this crazy business. It really warms our cold, black little hearts. Many sex workers get solicited for advice on how to get into the biz, how to make more money while IN the biz, how to use a new platform/software/website, how to transition into a new sector of the biz… and so on and so forth. If you’ve been in this business for any amount of time at all, I’m sure you’ve been asked any or all of those questions a time or two. (If you haven’t, give it a little time, I’m sure it’s coming.) Giving a little help to a fellow ho (if you want to) can feel really fucking awesome BUT it can also be a big responsibility. Here’s a few things to ask yourself before becoming someone’s Patron Saint of Whoring.

What are your intentions?

Please don’t offer your help to a colleague if you’re only looking to make money off them. If you are starting a legit consulting business, congratulations, go for it. Be upfront about your pricing and do your thing, sugar! But if you’re not and you’re only willing to help others because getting them to sign up with the cam/phone/booty shaking company you work with solely because it gets you a referral bonus? Do us all a favor and don’t. That makes you look pretty damn shady. I’ve recommended the camming platform and clips sites I use because I’ve had good experiences with them and am comfortable suggesting them to others. Referrals are great and you shouldn’t feel guilty for getting them but really, in my opinion it’s not that important and I’ve never done the whole “be sure to tell them I sent you… blah blah blah…” spiel.

Be honest.

If someone has come to you for guidance and you’re inclined to give it, be truthful. I’ve shared my experiences when asked for them and I always try to give real, honest answers. Inflating my own success isn’t going to help anyone earn a proper paycheck if I’m really trying to help someone. Don’t lie about how much you make or how successful you are to someone who is seeking out your help. If you are friendly enough with this person to share something as intimate as your income, be a decent human and be honest. If you’re not comfortable sharing it, don’t. You’re not a bad person if that information feels too personal or intimate to give out and you shouldn’t feel guilty for saying so.

Do you know what you’re talking about?

Please be honest with yourself about your own expertise. If you don’t have enough insight to help another, don’t feel bad in simply saying so. In my experience, people have a really fucking hard time simply saying “I don’t know.” and give whatever dumbass convoluted mashup of wrong information that comes to their minds. There’s no shame in saying, “Sorry, I really am still figuring it all out for myself and may not be the best to help you get started.” You can direct them to someone you think may be better equipped and that is perfectly ok.

Are you willing to tell them ALL they need to know?

If you’re going to give them a little “starter advice” and then give them the sink-or-swim treatment, don’t even bother. Because honestly? You can do way more harm than good. If you’re going to take the responsibility of being someone’s “mentor”, you better give them ALL the pertinent details of the work. ESPECIALLY regarding safety tips and privacy concerns. I once listened in horror when I was told a cautionary tale about a provider getting a woman into escorting and then giving her NO advice on screening or privacy. Later, this newbie was outted to her family due to poor discretion practices that could have easily been avoided if she had gotten ANY advice on those things from her so-called “mentor”. Yes, it was the newbie’s responsibility to do her research on how to protect herself but she trusted this escort whom she thought was her friend and relied solely on her as she began her escorting career.

So if you decide you’d like to help someone the next time they ask for your assistance in this industry, do it with good intentions, be honest with yourself and them, and give them the full picture. You don’t need to write their whole damn business plan but do give them all the pertinent details; especially the information they’ll need begin successfully and safely.

Do you have any tips? I’d love to hear them in the comments!

Savannah Darling: Fetish Specialist, Webcam Mistress, Phone Sex Operator, Professional Domina

Escorting, Sex Work

Double Time

The other day, I had a noon duo scheduled with a regular of mine. My duo partner, Amy, had never seen him before, but we have great chemistry and I knew he’d love her. I curled my hair, put on roughly seventeen pounds of makeup, and shimmied into garters, stockings, and heels. I made the bed, put on some music, set out condoms, and lit candles. Then, I waited. And at 11:48, Amy came flying into my incall studio in a panic. “Oh, my god! How do you work if you’re on your period? I’m on day 4, and I don’t know what to dooooo!” Now. We scheduled the duo three days prior, so when I asked if she was available, she already knew that The Shining was happening in her no-no bits. She had three days to ask for advice, or use Mr. Google to figure out her shit, but she didn’t. She waited until ten minutes before the client arrived to make her crisis my problem. Fortunately, I’m a boy scout when it comes to being prepared, and I fixed her up with some makeup sponges while briefing her on our client. Then I let her borrow some scissors to trim her bikini area. Then I let her use my deodorant and some hair product. Then I lent her something to wear, because she didn’t bring any lingerie. Then I stashed her stuff in the closet while she threw on some makeup before he arrived. Fortunately, I knew to be totally prepared before she arrived, because I have come to expect that my last ten minutes before any appointment we take together will be spent managing her crises du jour. And I do it without complaining, because

a) she’s pretty awesome in session

b) I genuinely like her as a person, and my clients like us together

c) I consider it a kind of repayment of a karmic debt for all the times I used to be a shitty, shitty trainwreck of a duo partner myself.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Your duo partner is a source of extra income, access to different clients, and can even offer emotional support and sometimes mentor-ship. You owe it to each other to show basic courtesy and professionalism.

Let her know what to expect
If you’ve seen the client before, give her a quick rundown on what to expect. He uses an unnecessary amount of tongue when kissing. He loves giving head. He always tries to milk extra time and needs to be shoved out the door. He absolutely loves it when you laugh at his jokes. It’s courteous to share as much as you can about him, so that she feels as prepared as you are, and not like a third wheel trying to catch up. Likewise, if you only show up to work after half a bottle of wine, or smoking a bowl, or whatever, let your partner know. She may not mind if she knows to expect a tipsy/stoned you, but she deserves to have that information ahead of time, especially if she’s sharing her clients with you and needs to know which ones you would be a good match for. Lastly, check in with each other about how bisexual you each actually are, and how gay you’re willing to be for pay. If you are cool with making out, but not muff diving, make it clear before your client begs to watch you go down on each other.

Have her back
If you take ten minutes to discuss your boundaries ahead of time, you’ll spare yourselves awkward negotiations in-session. Your client may throat fuck you every time, but if you know she’s got a touchy gag reflex, you can make sure you’re the one doing the oral, and she can be the one to do the actual sexing. Help her stay in her comfort zone, and she’ll help you stay in yours.

Be on time
And know what that means. When you agree to a session time, ask what time she’d like you there. If you have a noon booking together, your partner may be cool with you breezing in at 11:55, or she may want help setting up, and be grumbling from 11:30 on about how you’re not pulling your weight. Also, leave yourself a cushion of time to help clean up after. If you are hosting the session in your incall, make sure you’ve got enough time that your partner can shower afterward so she isn’t thrown back into her day freshly-shagged. If you’re a guest at your partner’s incall, ask if you can help strip and make the bed, replace candles, or whatever else needs done.

And speaking of incalls…
If your partner hosts your duos at her place, and provides all the supplies, toys, and atmosphere, show a little consideration from time to time. You don’t ever have to buy candles, condoms, massage oil, gloves, wine, bottled water, chocolate, sheets, towels, incense, or pay rent. If you duo regularly under those circumstances, take her to lunch or out for a mani pedi to say thanks. If you duo only once, or once in awhile, a Starbucks card, a couple of fancy chocolates, or a bottle of wine are all nice gestures. It also might be more appropriate just to buy a couple of boxes of her favorite brand of condoms as a way of acknowledging her hospitality. A small gesture goes a long way in showing your duo partner that you value your relationship with her, and can lead to her sharing more business with you in the future. If you’re the one hosting, and want more of a contribution from your duo partner, it’s fair to ask a per-session fee if you’re supplying everything. Keep in mind when choosing your fee, though, that it’s bad form to ask a space-use fee and expect help preparing and cleaning. If you paid for a hotel room, it’s 100% legit to take the cost of the room off the top before splitting the donation, just make sure to mention it to her upfront.

Respect her privacy
This should go without saying, but unfortunately it doesn’t. Make damn sure you’re using her stage name, not her legal name, ever. Don’t tell your clients jack shit about her. Don’t bring up her kids, her hometown, or even her hobbies if she doesn’t bring them up with him first. And don’t talk to other girls about her, either. If she wants to share something about herself, she can. Stick to your own stories, and know that if you talk shit about her to other
people, it will get back to her eventually, and you will come out of it looking like a supreme asshole–and not just to your partner, either. If you can’t respect her privacy, clients will be reluctant to trust you with theirs, and if you’re a gossip behind her back, no other girls will want to work with you. Say she’s beautiful, charming, brilliant, a great kisser–and then shut up.

Beatrice Darling: GFE Escort, Traveling Companion

You can also follow Beatrice on Twitter @missobdurate