Category Archives: Sex Work

Secrets and what you do for a living

What do you do for work? To most people this is a simple question with a simple answer. However, for an escort it can be daunting to answer weather the answer is a down right lie or the gods honest  truth. For years I’ve  personally been honest with close friends and family about “Ginger” but, there are many occasions where I do need to make up an acceptable lie about my occupation. I hate doing it but, it’s a means of protection and acceptance. Here are a few suggestions and tips for the people in your life that require a less than honest answer about what its is you actually do for a living.

Stripper: Explains excess cash, odd hours, constant personal maintenance. Now that answer might not be your first choice but, its only a half lie and hey it sounds way better than prostitute

Small Business Marketing Consulting: great for touring pros, explains constantly being glued to your phone, travel to odd places, random fluxes of cash. Weather or not you realize it you’re a mini marketing diva and you probably know more about small business marketing then most kids coming out of college with a BA in marketing.

“_______” Consulting: fill in the blank, being a consultant gives you freedom to have a cool fake job in any sector.

Never lie about having a job at a physical location. Nothing like mom poping up at your fake job and finding out you lied, exception being strip club if your family wants to come see you at work in a club you’ve got bigger issues at hand then telling people what you do for a living. The two people you should never lie to about your occupation are, your lover or  anyone you are having an intimate relationship with. They have the RIGHT to know you are putting their sexual health at risk and you own then honesty. The other is yourself,  if you are not mentally strong enough or prepared to accept what you actually do for work, get out of the business now.

Ginger McNaughty: National Touring Escort

Follow Ginger on Twitter @GingerMcNaughty

 

Never tell clients your real name

Never tell your clients your real name. This would seem like a no brainer right? Well it’s sadly not. Even I have made this terrible mistake and it yes, it has comeback to bite me in the ass. It bears repeating often and over and over…never give your clients your real name. They always ask, they want to be the special one you trust enough to give your real identity to. Don’t be tempted, don’t fall into the trap of the false sense of security that because you are sharing intimate time with a client that you can trust them and share your name too. You can’t. The self proclaimed hobbyists who review escorts on websites are the worst, they share your name and info like 12 year olds trading baseball cards. Don’t fall prey to the old line about how they had to give you screening info so its only fair you tell them who you are. That is a trap you will have to chew your own paw off to escape.

We come up with stage names to protect ourselves. No matter how comfortable we are with what we do the outside world is still very hard on us and the stigma of being a sex worker is very strong. Once a whore always a whore and no matter how many years pass and how many things you’ve done since you will always be branded a whore by certain groups and people. Keep your identity close to the vest so that you can control the outcome of your life and not be outed by some petty, small, person who has a need to punish you for the choices you make.

There are some things you can do to protect yourself if you’re one of those people who has a hard time telling men you’re getting naked with no. Or you would rather not deal with the whole reasonable conversation where they get all butt hurt when you tell them your very valid reasons for not wanting to share your identity with a man who’s paying you for sex. You can create a back story, you have to think of yourself as an onion with many layers. What you need is a fake real name! Something that sounds normal and plain and most of all you can REMEMBER it. Just as you create your sex worker persona, create the fake real you. Know where the fake you went to college, what state the fake you grew up in, a few small intimate details about the fake you that you can easily tell on the fly when you get cornered about who you really are.

I know it seems like a lot to do and a lot to remember but it will become second nature and it will  save you heartache and headache in the long run if you can rattle off  a few convincing details who who you “really” are.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer and Hypno-Domme

So You Want to Quit Your Day Job

So you want to quit your day job…

Ok, first thing? Don’t.
Not right away, anyway. You’ve got some serious planning to do first, sugarbritches! It took me nearly a year to get everything ready to go from working in this industry part-time to making it my full-time job and my sole means of income. If this is a choice that you have the luxury of making in advance, make the most of the time you have to make the move as painless as possible.

Are you making at least the same amount of money whoring part-time that you are while working full-time at the day job? If the answer is no, stop reading this article and start honing your skills in your chosen field and come back after the answer is yes. When you’re getting your footing while moving into being your own boss all the time, you’re going to need to take time figuring out a new rhythm, a new schedule, a new well… everything. This could very well eat into your planned “work week” at the beginning and allowing yourself enough time to adjust will save you some serious gray hairs. Especially since there really aren’t any guaranteed paychecks in this biz, bogging yourself down with “holy shit I have to whore for 60 hours to make this week’s bills.” will kill you. KILL YOU. So yes, make sure you are comfortably making your current pay with part-time effort right out of the gate. it will make your transition that much easier. There will be booming times and lean times, be prepared.

Are you prepared to no longer have a mainstream job as an answer when someone asks you what you do for a living? Do you plan on being “out”? To whom? These are questions that you may not have had to think about when this was just a part-time gig but once you are all-in, be prepared to be asked about this “great new job you’ve started” and you should have an answer ready, (whatever it may be) for people that matter to you. Obviously, not everyone needs to know your business but be prepared to be asked, and be asked often. This is also a good time to remind you that at some point in time you could possibly be recognized or god forbid, outted.

Have a hefty amount in savings put away before you give your notice. I hope you’ve been saving your whore money while you’ve been slaving away at your day job because you really never know what adjustments you’re going to need to make once you make your ho job your only job. I saved 6 months worth of expenses because my husband had been laid off the year before and that showed me how important a safety net was, especially with a mortgage.

Let’s talk health insurance. Because let’s be real, this is a giant issue for us all and if you’re leaving a job without health insurance, you better have a plan to replace it. Many of us go without, on a hope and a prayer and lord knows that shit ain’t smart. (I was lucky enough to only have to wait a few months until open enrollment for my husband’s plan through his employer. I know how lucky I was to have had that option.) Paying out of pocket for every last bit of health insurance you’ll need can get CRAZY expensive, and hopefully the Affordable Healthcare Act will help lessen some of the burden in the future. Regardless, it’s always a good idea to do your research and plan for what decisions you’ll need to make.

So yes, if Sex Work is the job you love (or love to hate) and the career path you’re choosing, please don’t jump in hastily. Plan ahead, save your money and come to terms with whatever social hangups others will have about your profession before making the leap.
It’ll serve you well in the long run.

 

Savannah Darling: Fetish Specialist, Webcam Mistress, Phone Sex Operator, Professional Domina

Consistency is Key

So, you recently opened your very own clips store and you’re wondering “why isn’t the money pouring in?” Maybe you had heard from other girls or producers that they make enough money off their one or two clip stores to make a living. Sounds easy, right? WRONG! There are few key components that you need to consider in your path to success. Sure, putting up a few videos here and there doesn’t sound hard, but let me break this down for you, consumer style: You’re out of your favorite cereal, so you go down the cereal isle at the market and find that the brand you usually buy has changed their product’s ingredients, you’re bummed but you pick it up hoping that it’s still the same. Well, you get home and it’s not. It doesn’t taste the same at all! So what do you do? You switch brands. Or, you’re out of your favorite cereal, so you go down the cereal isle and they are out of that kind. What do you do? Try something new.

This is the way the mind of buyers work, and not just when buying cereal. Your overall brand consistency is the key to your success when it comes to clips. You may be asking yourself “well how do I develop that?” It isn’t the easiest thing on the planet, but success doesn’t come without work!

Time Consistency

The major clip sites out there give you an option to schedule clips for future posting. Utilize the hell out of this!! If your customers know that you have a new clip posted every day at 11am, with a different format following at 3-4 hour intervals the rest of the day, they’re going to check your clip store every day. If they know that you only post a new clip once or twice a week, they’re going to check just those days. How do you let them know? Easily! Tell them! Most clip stores allow you to have a description, so simply spell out “New clips posted daily at 11am!” and then stick to that. You don’t want to rush each day uploading a new clip to meet the deadline, so schedule clips a week, month or several months in advance to avoid stressing yourself out. In addition to your current fans knowing when to find you, having your store on the “recently updated” list on the front page consistently will bring new fans to you!

Quality Consistency

You don’t like the new ingredients used in your favorite cereal, so why would you expect your buyers to like it if you are constantly switching between poor quality and HD quality videos? Now, I should be a bit more specific here. When you post clips, you can post the same clip in various formats/qualities, but specify that in the description! And do not post one clip in one poor quality and the next clip in excellent HD quality. Be consistent! If your videos are always well lit with very little grain, keep that up. Make sure you’re always using the best lighting possible and the same camera. The only time you want to break consistency is when you’re improving your quality by adding better lighting or upgrading to a better camera.

Content Consistency

Ok, so you’re still a newbie and you don’t know what to post. Cool! That’s fine. You’re learning, but if something sells really well for you DO IT AGAIN! Don’t skip over it and never do it again. Sure, selling clips is a trial and error process, but if something works  for you, continue it. You don’t want to wear the exact same outfit or speak the exact same lines, but the general idea/theme of the clip can remain constant without there being an issue. The best part about this is that when you have several clips of a specific category up in your store, often times new fans will go through and buy all of them, rather than just one!

What does this all mean when you put it together? It means you’re going to need to film a lot, in advance. You’re going to need to maintain the quality of your camera work, lighting, and editing, and only ever move up in quality. And you’re going to need to shoot the same things over and over and over again. Best way to do this? Pick a day and shoot as much in that day as you can. If you manage your time well, you can knock out anywhere from 6-10 clips in an hour. That’s about a week’s worth of content! Plan ahead and know what you’re going to shoot, and you can get shooting clips down to an art that works for you. Your fans will see the hard work you put in and it will pay off.

Sydney Screams: Fetish Model, Clip Producer, Adult Actress, Radio Talk Show Host

Intercourse is intercourse

People ask all the time from seasoned pros to young hopefuls looking to get into the sex business. Even clients who are looking for a way to beat the system ask.  They ask over and over and over. It’s one of my most searched terms on my websites “is using a strap on on a client prostitution?” The hope is always that no, fucking someone with a strap-on in exchange for cash isn’t considered prostitution. Hope does spring eternal. The simple fact is intercourse is intercourse and fucking someone with your hand, your sexual organs, your mouth or an object in exchange for cash is prostitution. There’s no getting around it. You can call yourself a Pro Domme and maybe you are or maybe you hope to be but if you offer strap-on play as one of your services then you are engaging in an act of prostitution. In some states (most check your local laws) just agreeing to such an act will get you popped and off you will go on a ride to the county clink. I know people want to believe it’s somehow legal to fuck someone with a strap on for cash because its seems like a gray area but its not, Its not a gray area its an act of prostitution. Don’t try to game the system by lying to yourself about what it is your doing. Just accept the fact that what you are offering isn’t legal and take the necessary precaution if you decide to offer this activity be you Pro Domme or provider and screen your potential clients to make sure you’re not putting yourself in a bad position or harms way in terms of your freedom.

You don’t have to call your self a prostitute and  leave those disclaimers up in your website that say you’re a Pro Domme not a hooker if it makes you feel better but it wont protect you if you offer illegal activities and you happen to be unlucky enough to be the one who booked the session with a man in a undercover uniform. Hookers all have disclaimers on their sites too, you know the ones “all fees are for time and companionship only… blah blah” they also wont help if you get arrested. Only screening can help you. Only weeding out possible bad situations can help you. There is never no risk when you are engaging in activities frowned upon by penal code XYZ, but the idea is to minimize your risk. Your best tool in that is to screen your clients and screen well.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer, Phone Sex Operator and Hypno-Domme