Category Archives: Internet

Backpage went poof!

Backpage was shut down. What happens next is panic. I know, I lived though the shut down of the Craig’s List Adult Services shut down. Try to stay calm. You will be okay, develop a new plan. Get to work implementing it.

Read this from a couple years ago, it was written after Redbook disappeared:  https://fairywhoremother.com/4-things-you-can-do-when-your-advertising-venue-disappears/

Here is a running list of places to advertise that still exist. (as of Jan 2017) Some of these cost money, some don’t. Some might be for local areas, others are nationwide. Do your research, see what works for you. Most of all know you will be OK. This happens, it sucks but you are a sex worker you’re already resourceful.  (if you have any sites to ad to this list  please reach out so i can add them. jenny@goodtimejenny.com or on Twitter @jennydemilo )

http://www.eros.com/

http://www.cityvibe.com/

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What I learned from getting WordPress hacked

It happened. I got WordPress hacked. It was a huge nightmare. Many of my sites were infected. It got so bad that no only did i have to delete a handful of sites but several of my sites got listed with Google as a site that hosts maleware and I was put in Google jail until i could fix the issue. WordPress hacks are very common now, a lot more then just a few years ago. I did what anyone would do when facing a problem like this, I called my webhost in hopes of  figuring out the damage really was and a path forward to solve the problem.  Sadly my hosting company had been sold to a giant conglomerate and no longer will put in any kind of support ticket for any kind of security issue. So I dropped them like a hot fucking potato after being with them for 8 years and found a company who would not only host me but helped me clean my compromised sites . During this process I learned some basic things that anyone with a WordPress site can do to help keep the hackers at bay.

  1. keep your WordPress version up to date. You would think this is a no brainer, its not. Do it keep it up to date. When you get that email saying theres a new version of WordPress. UPDATE! Its likely got a fix for a known vulnerability. This will save your ass.

2. Keep all your plugins up to date and delete ones you’re not using. Have plugins you tried out but then thought eh… delete them. you don’t need them sitting there inviting hackers to play with your wordpress back-end. Keep all the plugins you do like up to date and fresh.

3. Delete any only themes you’re not using. Say buhbye to all those themes you tested out and though, yuck. You dont need them and they also can be a way in for hackers.

4. Keep your theme up to date. If you have a theme thats is never updated time to find a new one. This is a very common way hackers can bust into your site. You want to stay with a theme that updates.

5. Wordfence. Install it ( its free) and run regular scans. Its a serious life saver.

6. Find a hosting company with good tech support. Not all companies will help you if you get hacked. I learned this the hard way, most of my sites were off line for a full week and I spent countless hours  the phone arguing with my ass-clown hosting company (cough Hostgator cough) getting nowhere fast. Whoever you host with should be able to in the very least help you sort out whats going on, give you some guidance on how to handle it moving forward and in some cases actually help you fix the issue.

7. Change your passwords. You have to change your passwords to something hard to break. Do not use anything with words in it, make it a mix of special characters and capitals and it should be long. I know how will you ever remember it? You wont. Write it down, use a password manager and suck it up. Passwords are so easy to hack now its not even funny.

None of this will guarantee you wont get hacked but its a good step forward and some of the better WordPress practices you can employ. Its better to take the precautions then to pick up the frustrating pieces of being WordPress hacked.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, Hypno-Domme and former GFE Escort

Follow Jenny DeMilo on Twitter

Creating Your Own Demand

Rule_34We all know about Rule 34: There is a fetish for everything. Everything has potential to turn someone on. It’s one of the best things about being a sex worker. You get to create your own niche to the extreme. But how exactly do you build demand once you’ve created your niche? The good news is that it is essentially really easy. The bad news is that it is time consuming. But nobody is going to be successful doing nothing, so I’m just going to assume that you’re not lazy and that you want to fucking work. First off, get your ass on social media. You can’t avoid social media anymore when you’re creating your demand. Hashtags are your best friend on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. But it’s so much more than that!! You have to also network. The sex worker community on Tumblr is one of my absolute favorites. People constantly build each other up, dish out hate on creepers, and reblog advertisements. Just remember that you’re expected to do the same! Use watermarked photos of yourself to advertise your services, whether you’re a pro-Domme, cammer, PSO or escort. Don’t just post the photo though, include your website(s) in the description!

Do a bit of research. Who are the people who have similar interests and where do they hang out? There are forums for just about every kink these days, and forums are a great place to start conversations with potential clients/customers.

Own what you do. Are you a POC into cosplay? Show off your geek knowledge along side your cosplaying photos. You have a personality (even if it’s a made up one), use it to your advantage. By making yourself a relatable individual, people will feel connected to you and more likely to support your services. This can be a problem when you’re a FemDom, as there is a fine balance between being too accessible and not enough. Find that balance! Do something different from everyone else. Nobody likes a copycat. Don’t copy other people!! It’s in poor taste. Standing out from the crowd will make you stand out in peoples’ minds.

Don’t wait for other people. You own you. You control what you do. You cannot expect to sit around and wait for others to make you successful. That’s not how this industry works. Find what you want to do and do it. Don’t wait for companies to hire you. Don’t wait for approval from anyone. Just fucking do it.

Nobody cares about your success more than you, so why on earth are you not doing anything about it? 

Sydney Screams: Fetish Model, Clip Producer, Adult Actress, Radio Talk Show Host

Hacking Your Productivity

Time SuckOne of the perils of being an online sex worker is well… all that online access! I’m a Phone Sex Operator (PSO) set up to take calls through a convoluted online set up that works for me *knocks on wood*. But if I was a betting woman (and I am), I’d be willing to put a pretty penny or two on the assertion that any successful PSO or Web Cam Entertainer puts in as much, if not more, time into the grunt work of running an online business (web development, content creation, emails, social media, branding, marketing, etc.) as they do actually interacting with Clients, even those conducting calls through a traditional landline. And while I know this and consider myself to be doing OK, I know I could be doing things that would be a whole heck of a lot more productive than getting distracted with the shiny time sucks out there that don’t help make my bank account grow wild with cash. You know what I’m talking about: Forums, Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Reddit, Youtube, etc.

Sure, some of these things can be  super helpful in growing your business. But if you’re anything like me, it’s also easy to get way distracted and be surprised that your 5 minute fun break turned into a lost hour (or two)! And oh no! Now it’s “prime hard-on” time and you don’t want to get in the middle of a project because the horny guys are going to start calling. Bummer! Guess you won’t be finishing that MP3 script today like you hoped…

I’m all about self and process improvement. So today, I’m sharing with you two tools that have helped me hack my own bad habits to improve my productivity.

  • Stay Focusd is an extension for Google Chrome that allows you to define a max number of minutes allowed on a site per day. You can even limit the window of distraction free browsing to particular days of the week or a range of time per day. You can block sub domains (like just the forum of a website and not the whole website itself). And you can even set a blurb of text that you have to type correctly to gain access to a site if so desired. Though that seems a little sadomasochist to me.
  • Rescue Time is an app that runs in the background of your computer and tracks the time you spend in applications and websites. You can tell it how useful or distracting something is. And you can log in to see daily stats or get a weekly email that serves for me personally as a moment of self reflection and goal setting. I like hard data that holds me accountable to myself. It’s easy to slack off on fun stuff, but seeing an overview of where my time went is a cold hard kick in the booty to get my priorities straight.

What tips, tricks or tools do you utilize to make yourself more productive? Share your insights in the comments section below!

Sarah Does Phone Sex, is a phone sex operator. You can find Sarah on Twitter, read her blog or even give her a call.

Get A Room!

On the phone Hi! Sarah (of SarahDoesPhoneSex.com) here and for my inaugural post here on Fairy Whore Mother, I want to share a fabulous tool that was recommended to me (by @MissEmmaMcG of KinkandCode.com) that has made Client-On-Cam sessions a freaking breeze. More on this in a bit. As a Phone Sex Operator (PSO) working primarily on platforms (like Niteflirt, TalkToMe, etc.), I don’t offer WebCam as a service. However, if I did, honestly I think I’d use a site that had the functionality to handle the whole transaction within the web browser itself, as opposed to having to utilize third party services (like Skype or various IM programs) to connect with the Client. And there are a variety of points I’d bring up about that, but I’m trying to keep this positive and not get distracted with too many side rants, so I’ll save that whole can of beans for another day.

But the thing that really bugs me about offering WebCam sessions (through phone sex platforms) is that without fail, they’re a huge pain in the ass to pull off. I use Skype to take my PSO calls. I did that on purpose. One of my goals in becoming a full time PSO is that eventually I’ll be able to do it from anywhere (as long as I have a good internet connection). So using Skype to watch a client’s webcam doesn’t work for me. And I refuse to download a bunch of IM programs. Yahoo? AIM? ICQ? I’m sorry, is 1999 calling? No.

And I realize that not using the tech old guys are comfortable with is probably hurting my business potential a bit. But I’m OK with that. Know why? Because of the inevitable threads I see on forums complaining about how clients abuse the fuck out of it. Selling that Skype ID for a few bucks may seem like a good idea now, but just wait till you’re getting endless messages asking if you’ll take Paypal or messaging you while you’re in the middle of a session with another client. And heaven help you if you have multiple characters to juggle.

Ever since settling on that little internal policy for how I run my business, if someone expresses interest in having me watch them on webcam. I offered Google Hangouts as my solution. Obviously this has it’s own trials and tribulations (they have to have a Gmail account or make one for naughty porn purposes, they have to be relatively tech savvy, etc.). And while I’ll admit I’m a pretty big Google fan girl, their user experience isn’t without t’s own issues either. But it made do. That is until I found about about Room.co.

OK, now pause, cause we need to get this little cautionary blurb out of the way. Room has a Terms of Service that clearly states that using their site for commercial and/or adult entertainment purposes is not kosher. *gasp* *shock* *feigned surprise* But seriously what modern tools are we in the adult entertainment industry allowed to use without violating the hell out all kinds of legalese? So use it at your own risk. And when it becomes a for pay service, please remember to support it with your cash (note: I’m not in any way affiliated with the site, so no agenda here) to help influence legit companies to embrace sextech as an under served customer base starving for innovation.

Now for the fun stuff. Why do I love this site so much?

  • No Downloads: Everything happens in the browser.
  • No Signup For Client: They don’t have to signup for anything. All they do is click the link you send them for the room and they get transported into the video call under a silly automatically generated anonymous moniker.
  • Tech Agnostic: Works on Google Chrome, Mozilla Firefox, and Apple (iPhone & iPad). That way everyone gets to play in their preferred tech playground. I also really love that they didn’t cater to Apple users to the determent of Android users (as so many developers do).
  • Intuitive User Interface: Simple by design. It doesn’t try and reinvent the wheel. The designers have embraced the conventions we’ve all been trained to look for through past internet experience to be able to very quickly navigate the various functions available.
  • Rename & Save Rooms: Have a repeat client? Make them their very own room and save the URL as a bookmark. Now you never ever have to worry about if they have the right URL or not (I’m looking at you Google Hangouts).
  • Text Chat: More than just a video conference / webcam tool, you can also type back and forth and share URLs with each other… privately.
  • Screen Share: Ever had a client that likes to watch porn with you? This makes it a cake walk.
  • Up To 4 People: I haven’t done this yet, but the thought has crossed my mind that this would be a way to do a session with a client that wanted to play with multiple entertainers at the same time or maybe play with 2 clients at the same time (long distance couples?). Not sure how often this feature would get used, but the option is there, and I like that.
  • Oh, and did I mention, it’s FREE!

Thanks for reading. I hope this will help take your sexwork business to the next level. Did you try out Room? What did you think? What did your Client think? Share your thoughts with me and the rest of the Fairy Whore Mother gang on Twitter (@FWMother & @SarahDoesPhSex).

Sarah Does Phone Sex, is a phone sex operator. You can find Sarah on Twitter, read her blog or even give her a call.