All posts by fairywhoremother

Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer, Phone Sex Operator and Hypno-Domme. Jenny’s been working in the sex business for more years then is polite to say in mixed company. She has a long standing reputation for helping her fellow sex workers stay safe in an often risky business and has been bloggng and shinning a bright shinny light about working in the sex business since 2007. The good, the bad and even the ugly has been reveled. Never one to mince words, Jenny calls it like she sees it and has been called everything from a “Fairy Whore Mother” to divisive by her peers. Jenny is also a professional photographer and published writer in the mainstream world.
Escorting, Sex Work

Staying Under The Hotel Radar

Traveling isn’t easy when you’re escorting. It can take a physical toll, worse it can take an emotional toll. Being away from home and all your creature comforts is harder then you may think, especially if you travel for more then a few days at a time. The last thing you want is to be hassled by the front desk or hotel management for being a hooker. Here are some tips on ways to keep under the radar when working out of a hotel on tour.

1. Steal towels from the maids cart: You’re going to need extra towels, hotels are getting stingier with them all the time. Plus sometime clients hog and use up all your towels. You really don’t want to be calling the maid every day or even several times a day asking for extra towels. Thats a giant red flag and will get you pegged as a hooker straight off the bat. If you see the maids cart (and how can you miss it) causally and with out being noticed take a handful of towels back to your room and stow them in your closet. Put out one fresh towel for each client, don’t give them the option to use up all your towels.

2. If you need to ask the maid for towels, TIP HER: Sometimes you need towels and you just cant find that maids cart to nick them from (FYI: look on other floors too) You have no choice but to call housekeeping and ask for fresh towels. When the maid comes to your door with them, tip her! Hand her five bucks say thank you, be nice to her and smile. She will be more then happy to give you the towels and be more likely to just turn a blind eye as to why a single female traveler needs all these goddamn towels. She may even ask you in the hall next time she sees you if you need any towels or anything for your room. Win her over with cash.

3. Take out your own trash: The last thing you want to do is bring unneeded or unwanted attention to yourself with a trash can full if condom wrappers.  Take out your own trash. Usually theres a trash can somewhere by the ice machine. Scope it out so you know where it is and take out your own trash. The less suspicion on you the better

4. Scope out the alternative entrances:  Tell your clients how to get to your room without going by the front desk. You would think this was a no brainer but its not. Trust me they don’t wanna go by the front desk anyways so give them the alternative route. If there is no alternative route available, tell your clients how to directly walk to the elevators so they don’t have to ask anyone for directions. Sometimes the elevators are hidden and its better when they can walk though the lobby like they know where they are going.

5. Do not register your hotel room with your hooker number: Hotels have taken to using the Google if they are suspicious of you. Some hotels just do it as a mater of course on all single female guests. Do not register/rent your room with your working number, use your personal cell number or a google voice number you have reserved just for hotel rentals. You don’t want a nosy, snoopy manager to google your number and see your 100 ads for escorting. That will only get you tossed out, extorted for free service if the guy is a super creep, or worse they will call the cops and try to get you arrested. (FYI never talk to the cops)

6. Always tip housekeeping: This also would seems like a no brainer but yet it’s not. Tip your maids and tip them well. If you have your room made up every day, tip them every day. If you’re like me and rarely take advantage of maid service, then tip them at the end of your stay even if you think they didn’t do much. They did do something, they didn’t rat you out to management and some hotels offer bounties on that kinda thing. The maids will always know whats what in a hotel. They see who comes and goes, they see you opening your door to that weird overweight guy who looks nervous and out of place. They are the eyes and ears of the place, they know you’re working out of that room so buy their silence with cold hard cash.  Don’t get greedy and forget to tip your maids. Its the cost of doing business and Its worth every penny you spend.

 

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer, Phone Sex Operator and Hypno-Domme.

Legal, Sex Work

Shut The Fuck Up

1 Comment

It can happen to anyone. It can happen if you are an escort, if you are a porn-star, a Dominatrix or a cam girl. You can be arrested. True your odds are higher if you are working in the gray area of sex work, the area where it might not be so legal to do what you are doing for a living but being arrested isn’t exclusive to escorts. Ask Kimberly Kupps if you don’t believe me, she was arrested for making adult content out of her own home. Cam sites in LA are being raided by the police for film permit violations  and who knows what will happen with all this required condoms on porn stuff going on right now. Laws are changing an their not very friendly to sex workers to begin with, no one is untouchable.  As a result its more important then ever to know your rights. Yes, you have rights and you need to invoke them if you are arrested or if you find yourself in a situation with law enforcement

First in foremost you have the right to remain silent. That’s your right and you should USE it. Do not answer questions, no matter how innocuous the questions seem. The police are trying to make a case against you and they will use everything they can including ANYTHING you say. You are only required to give them your legal name and you address of residence. You don’t need nor should you volunteer any other information. Just shut up, clam up, zip it, be quiet, do not engage them, do not answer questions do not pass go do not collect 200 dollars. You also have the right to an attorney so invoke that as well. Respectfully decline to answer any questions pending consultation with your attorney. Cops can and will lie to you, it’s their job to build a case against you that’s what they are there to do, anything you say can and WILL be used against you. So just shut the fuck up.  It might be hard, they will try to provoke you, say all kinds of terrible things about you, to you, but just go to your happy place and do not engage them. Do not try defend yourself, do not answer any questions. Just sit there and be mute. Get all Helen Keller up in their shit. They may get aggressive and curse at you, they may call you names and try to manipulate you into responding. They may even say that they will send you into a dark hole with no way out, forever. Do not take the bait, just be quiet. Give them your name, address tell them you will not answer their questions and and would like to see an attorney. The end. Be polite but do not engage no matter how much they try to get you to respond to their questions.

It seems so simple but so many people do not invoke their rights, they get caught up in the situation. Law enforcement has more experience then you in an arrest situation, they have the advantage, you’re likely to be scared, intimidated, horrified but do not take the bait do not let your self be manipulated into doing yourself no favors. The best way you can help yourself is to just be quiet.

Redlight Chicago has a training video you should watch, it not only has good info but they do reenactments of common LE techniques. http://www.redlightdistrictchicago.com/?p=43

Also download, read and even carry with you the ACLU bust card – its an invaluable resource, use it. ACLU BUST CARD 

I am in no way an attorney and I’m no substitute for legal advice. If you get arrested get real legal advice from a real lawyer. I’m just a sex worker who knows the value of keeping her mouth shut when it’s appropriate and when you come in contact with law enforcement that’s always a good time to invoke your right to shut the fuck up.

 

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer, Phone Sex Operator and Hypno-Domme

 

Internet, Marketing, Sex Work

Buy Your Dot Com

5 Comments

I see it happen all the time, not just from the novice sex workers or those new to the business. It happens over and over, it causes people much stress, sometimes embarrassment and most importantly…. Money. What is this dreaded scourge on the sex business? People who don’t buy and own their own web domain. Yes, I know you think thats rudimentary, everyone knows to do that, right? Wrong! I own my own working name web domain (I also own a whole bunch of others because  I’m a digital hoarder) but I own the important one, I pay every year to renew it like clockwork and you should too.

There is a prominent porn actress who shall remain nameless as to not embarrass her. She is a niche performer with a good sized following, shes a former escort, she owns a couple of niche porn sites, she also been known to sell her services to other sex workers and those hoping to get into the biz as a “consultant” in all things social media and Internet marketing. Awesome right? Well yeah sorta, until you  find out that she doesn’t own her own web domain. Her “insert working name here” dot com website is owned by someone else, someone she used to do business with whom she had some kind of parting of the ways. Since they owned her domain name she walked with out it. I’m not sure I’d hire her to tell me about all things adult/social/Internet marketing when the very basics of how to control your won work, image and content in this often shady business is beyond her but  thats another tale for another day of be careful who you give your money to. I don’t want to come down too hard on her as we all make mistakes, but this is adult business 101. I’m sure this mistake cost her a lot of dollars, someone else getting monthly checks on all her content sold, on her membership site, not to mention the loss of control over her image and persona. They can use that domain to drive traffic to any other sites they want to, they also make money when people search her name and content and find their way to what looked like her official dot com. It’d her name plus dot com and she’s not profiting from it, someone else is. I cant even imagine all the time and energy thats now required to rank her NEW domain, the one that’s some variation on her porn actor name. Lots of work and time investments she wouldn’t have  to engage in if she actually owned her own domain instead of leaving that  very important task up to someone else to buy. You must be the owner of record on your own domain, to not do that can be disastrous.

This doesn’t even address squatters. People who will buy your working names domain in hopes that you will buy it from them for a much inflated price, it happens a lot. Do you want to shell out hundreds of dollars for something you could have bought for 17 bucks?  Or maybe they will load it with banner ads to affiliate programs where they get money for each click or sign up trading off YOUR name for THEIR profit. Yes, that happens

Buy your domain, you don’t have to create a site but you must own your name. Don’t let anyone buy it for you. You buy it, its easy to do. Make sure to add the extra money for privacy. Seriously do that. If you don’t you are opening the door for a world of trouble to save yourself 10 bucks. If you can buy it for 10 years, if you cant buy it for one and renew it when it comes up. Own your own stuff, take control of your business, your image and your domain. This is a business not a hobby and you must make smart decisions. Bad ones can cost you time, effort and most of all money.

 

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer, Phone Sex Operator and Hypno-Domme.