What I learned from getting WordPress hacked

It happened. I got WordPress hacked. It was a huge nightmare. Many of my sites were infected. It got so bad that no only did i have to delete a handful of sites but several of my sites got listed with Google as a site that hosts maleware and I was put in Google jail until i could fix the issue. WordPress hacks are very common now, a lot more then just a few years ago. I did what anyone would do when facing a problem like this, I called my webhost in hopes of  figuring out the damage really was and a path forward to solve the problem.  Sadly my hosting company had been sold to a giant conglomerate and no longer will put in any kind of support ticket for any kind of security issue. So I dropped them like a hot fucking potato after being with them for 8 years and found a company who would not only host me but helped me clean my compromised sites . During this process I learned some basic things that anyone with a WordPress site can do to help keep the hackers at bay.

  1. keep your WordPress version up to date. You would think this is a no brainer, its not. Do it keep it up to date. When you get that email saying theres a new version of WordPress. UPDATE! Its likely got a fix for a known vulnerability. This will save your ass.

2. Keep all your plugins up to date and delete ones you’re not using. Have plugins you tried out but then thought eh… delete them. you don’t need them sitting there inviting hackers to play with your wordpress back-end. Keep all the plugins you do like up to date and fresh.

3. Delete any only themes you’re not using. Say buhbye to all those themes you tested out and though, yuck. You dont need them and they also can be a way in for hackers.

4. Keep your theme up to date. If you have a theme thats is never updated time to find a new one. This is a very common way hackers can bust into your site. You want to stay with a theme that updates.

5. Wordfence. Install it ( its free) and run regular scans. Its a serious life saver.

6. Find a hosting company with good tech support. Not all companies will help you if you get hacked. I learned this the hard way, most of my sites were off line for a full week and I spent countless hours  the phone arguing with my ass-clown hosting company (cough Hostgator cough) getting nowhere fast. Whoever you host with should be able to in the very least help you sort out whats going on, give you some guidance on how to handle it moving forward and in some cases actually help you fix the issue.

7. Change your passwords. You have to change your passwords to something hard to break. Do not use anything with words in it, make it a mix of special characters and capitals and it should be long. I know how will you ever remember it? You wont. Write it down, use a password manager and suck it up. Passwords are so easy to hack now its not even funny.

None of this will guarantee you wont get hacked but its a good step forward and some of the better WordPress practices you can employ. Its better to take the precautions then to pick up the frustrating pieces of being WordPress hacked.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, Hypno-Domme and former GFE Escort

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Creating Your Own Demand

Rule_34We all know about Rule 34: There is a fetish for everything. Everything has potential to turn someone on. It’s one of the best things about being a sex worker. You get to create your own niche to the extreme. But how exactly do you build demand once you’ve created your niche? The good news is that it is essentially really easy. The bad news is that it is time consuming. But nobody is going to be successful doing nothing, so I’m just going to assume that you’re not lazy and that you want to fucking work. First off, get your ass on social media. You can’t avoid social media anymore when you’re creating your demand. Hashtags are your best friend on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. But it’s so much more than that!! You have to also network. The sex worker community on Tumblr is one of my absolute favorites. People constantly build each other up, dish out hate on creepers, and reblog advertisements. Just remember that you’re expected to do the same! Use watermarked photos of yourself to advertise your services, whether you’re a pro-Domme, cammer, PSO or escort. Don’t just post the photo though, include your website(s) in the description!

Do a bit of research. Who are the people who have similar interests and where do they hang out? There are forums for just about every kink these days, and forums are a great place to start conversations with potential clients/customers.

Own what you do. Are you a POC into cosplay? Show off your geek knowledge along side your cosplaying photos. You have a personality (even if it’s a made up one), use it to your advantage. By making yourself a relatable individual, people will feel connected to you and more likely to support your services. This can be a problem when you’re a FemDom, as there is a fine balance between being too accessible and not enough. Find that balance! Do something different from everyone else. Nobody likes a copycat. Don’t copy other people!! It’s in poor taste. Standing out from the crowd will make you stand out in peoples’ minds.

Don’t wait for other people. You own you. You control what you do. You cannot expect to sit around and wait for others to make you successful. That’s not how this industry works. Find what you want to do and do it. Don’t wait for companies to hire you. Don’t wait for approval from anyone. Just fucking do it.

Nobody cares about your success more than you, so why on earth are you not doing anything about it? 

Sydney Screams: Fetish Model, Clip Producer, Adult Actress, Radio Talk Show Host

Escort support services and staying above the fray

broken-trustEscort support services. Some are needed, others are looking to rip you off. Some you love, others you quite frankly hate. They are often a necessary evil when you’re an escort (or any sex worker really) They are your advertising venues, your photographers, your screening and safety services, your copy writers, web developers and marketing experts. You need what they  have to offer and they need your money.  It’s hard to trust them in this often dicey business. Its hard to trust anyone when what you do isn’t always legal. Some require your IDs ( advertising venues) others take sensitive photos of you (Photographers) some need your passwords (web developers) Some you trust to keep you safe when meeting clients (screening services) As an escort you make a calculated risk assessment on who to trust with your sensitive information and lets face it your money. They all want your money. Some provide value for service still others are trying to rip you off.

Some things to keep in mind when evaluating trust for an escort support service. Are they above the fray?

1. Do they get involved in petty fights?

Are they meddling in the business of escorts? Pitting them against each other on a message board to garner support for their position on something? Or fighting so hard for your money that they denigrate their competitors? Example: Does your screening or safety service bad mouth their competitors? Yes, they all want your business but do they actively try to get that business by putting down their competition using scare tactics, innuendo, rumor (often started by them) or any other backhanded means. IE do they talk a lot of shit publicly or with a whisper campaign. If they do watch out. Thats not professional and do you really want YOUR name and reputation associated with people who act like that. Not to mention they could and would those same tactics against you if they felt you in any way posed a threat to their business.

2. Are they professional in their communications?

Do they call you sweetie in a business email. Are they overly friendly leaning toward creepy because you have nude pictures on your website? Do they ask inappropriate questions or steer any business conversations towards sex. HUGE red flags. Run don’t walk to someone who will treat you with respect. This is your business not hot talk central.

3. Do they treat you like a professional person or like a dumb whore with too much money?

People often think escorting is recession proof. That escorts are rolling in dough 24/7. They also often think that escorts are too stupid to do anything other then fuck for money. Which is far from the truth but there are those support services that see you as marks. They should treat you professionally and if you at all get a whiff that they see you as someone to take advantage of then find someone else because they are not trustworthy.

4. Do they have an established long standing reputation?

Being in business a long time as an escort support service doesn’t automatically mean their trustworthy. However having a long standing reputation in a business atmosphere with a lot of turn over should carry weight. All business have their ups and downs but you generally want to deal with people who have more ups then downs. People who opt to stay out of the fray and drama. People who are known for not being busy bodies, belittlers, or shady. If a support service has too many incidents of  “he said she says” then I tend to stay away. New support service business are popping up all the time and just because someone is new doesn’t mean you should dismiss them out of hand but a splashy flashy website should take a back seat to a reference from a trusted colleague. You cant please 100% of the people all the time  and if a support business has been in business long enough you will have likely pissed someone off. However what kind of pissing off did they do? Did they over charge someone and then rectified the mistake? Or did they give out an escorts real name address and phone number because she pissed them off? All of that needs to be considered when weighing a supports service trustworthiness.

Be wary of any support services that tries to woo you into helping them by giving out personal information on competitors or how they do business.  The support services that stay in business the longest and have the best reputations are the ones that stay out of all that. That provide value for money and are discreet when they need to be and professional always. You vet your clients to make sure they are safe you should be doing the same with your escort support services.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, Hypno-Domme and former GFE Escort

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Do The Math

back-to-school-retro-school-classroom-1408441525-view-0If you’re new to escorting or even if you’re not new sometimes its hard to tell what it is you really need to have to make money. As an independent escort it your own business and as with all business it takes money to make money. You can cut down on some of those costs by putting in a little time into figuring out what you really need to spend your money on and what you don’t. Making sure in the process to get value for money. Website: Though you don’t need a website to be an escort, it’s probably a good idea to get one.  Having a website shows some measure of legitimacy. If you are a little web savvy you can put up your own site. If not there are people who can do that for you. What they charge will vary far and wide. What you will get for that money will also vary. You should think carefully about what it is you want and what you are willing to pay to get it. A simple site works just as well as a very complicated site with all the bells and whistles. If you hire a web person to make you a site who does a lot of escort sites, make sure to do what you can to make your site look unique. You don’t want to look like everyone else. Your site should reflect you. Think about it from your client side, he’s weeding though a lot of sites and though a lot of potential escorts. Stand out! Oh and for gods sake if you put up your own site pay for your own hosting and a domain name. Don’t use a free site thats asking for trouble. Many are not adult friendly and you run the risk of waking up one day and your sites been deleted.

Photography: Every escort needs photos. Photos are going to sell you to potential clients more then anything else you do. Think about what image you want to project. Are you sweet and young? Are you dominating and fierce?  Are you quirky and alternative? What ever your assets are you want to project those in your photos.  Don’t just hire the dude who shoots all the hookers. What that is going to get you is your photos will look like all the other hookers photos. Hire someone you’re comfortable with (lots of creepy dudes with cameras out there), that you can trust (especially if you don’t show your face), who will design a shoot that is unique to you. Get references from other women in the business. Really look at someones portfolio. If they have 100 photos of skinny girls in lingerie and you’re fuller figured then that’s not your guy. If all they have to show are photos of white girls and you are a different shade then thats not your guy. If their portfolios are filled with pictures of landscapes and puppies then id think twice about spending your hard earned cash on that guy. Make sure they can do what it is you want and that they aren’t just putting up their lucky shots. Remember its easy to make a model… look like a model. Prices will also vary a lot so shop around.  If an average shoot in your area with a sex worker friendly photographer is 300 bucks and that gets you a set of usable retouched photos, then what should you get for a 1200 shoot? Also remember that as an escort you need to get new photos often, keep that in mind so when you are budgeting for shoots.You will need to do at least one shoot a year and you probably should do two.

Video: This is a thing now and frankly I don’t know why. Oh I know why some “clients” might like them. These are the same guys who can’t pull the trigger unless a girls got 500 reviews. But video isn’t necessary. It’s not a thing you need to have to work, even at the high end. Anyone that tells you that is selling something.  Does everyone need to have a Victoria Secrets style video to promote herself? The short answer is no.

Advertising: This is something you will need to invest in and put in some trail and error. Not all advertising works for all girls. Your BFF might really get a lot of work off a site that you get nothing off of. People in New York might pay for ads on a site that works, while in Detroit that same site will suck for bringing in clients. There is not rhyme or reason to it. The best thing you can do is set yourself a monthly advertising budget and then see what works for you. Try different things one at a time, then measure the success. Make sure you track hits to your website and ask your clients where they saw your ad. Not all of them will remember and some will get it wrong but absent of a customer satisfaction survey its the best you have to measure whats working. Also think of non traditional advertising venues like review boards, screening sites and social media.

Putting a little thought and time into determining what it is you need then adding up what that will cost is the best thing you can do for your business. You don’t need a ton of money but you should be setting some aside for these types of things. Do the math. Lots of people out there are looking to take advantage of you because they think you are rolling in escort dough and if you are new there are people who will tell you you need all the things and you can buy them from them of course. Be smart, be skeptical and don’t get taken advantage of.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, Hypno-Domme and former GFE Escort

Follow Jenny DeMilo on Twitter


Hacking Your Productivity

Time SuckOne of the perils of being an online sex worker is well… all that online access! I’m a Phone Sex Operator (PSO) set up to take calls through a convoluted online set up that works for me *knocks on wood*. But if I was a betting woman (and I am), I’d be willing to put a pretty penny or two on the assertion that any successful PSO or Web Cam Entertainer puts in as much, if not more, time into the grunt work of running an online business (web development, content creation, emails, social media, branding, marketing, etc.) as they do actually interacting with Clients, even those conducting calls through a traditional landline. And while I know this and consider myself to be doing OK, I know I could be doing things that would be a whole heck of a lot more productive than getting distracted with the shiny time sucks out there that don’t help make my bank account grow wild with cash. You know what I’m talking about: Forums, Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Reddit, Youtube, etc.

Sure, some of these things can be  super helpful in growing your business. But if you’re anything like me, it’s also easy to get way distracted and be surprised that your 5 minute fun break turned into a lost hour (or two)! And oh no! Now it’s “prime hard-on” time and you don’t want to get in the middle of a project because the horny guys are going to start calling. Bummer! Guess you won’t be finishing that MP3 script today like you hoped…

I’m all about self and process improvement. So today, I’m sharing with you two tools that have helped me hack my own bad habits to improve my productivity.

  • Stay Focusd is an extension for Google Chrome that allows you to define a max number of minutes allowed on a site per day. You can even limit the window of distraction free browsing to particular days of the week or a range of time per day. You can block sub domains (like just the forum of a website and not the whole website itself). And you can even set a blurb of text that you have to type correctly to gain access to a site if so desired. Though that seems a little sadomasochist to me.
  • Rescue Time is an app that runs in the background of your computer and tracks the time you spend in applications and websites. You can tell it how useful or distracting something is. And you can log in to see daily stats or get a weekly email that serves for me personally as a moment of self reflection and goal setting. I like hard data that holds me accountable to myself. It’s easy to slack off on fun stuff, but seeing an overview of where my time went is a cold hard kick in the booty to get my priorities straight.

What tips, tricks or tools do you utilize to make yourself more productive? Share your insights in the comments section below!

Sarah Does Phone Sex, is a phone sex operator. You can find Sarah on Twitter, read her blog or even give her a call.

Sage advice from bonifide whores