Category Archives: Pro Domme

Escorting, Pro Domme, Self Care, Sex Work

Never tell clients your real name

Never tell your clients your real name. This would seem like a no brainer right? Well it’s sadly not. Even I have made this terrible mistake and it yes, it has comeback to bite me in the ass. It bears repeating often and over and over…never give your clients your real name. They always ask, they want to be the special one you trust enough to give your real identity to. Don’t be tempted, don’t fall into the trap of the false sense of security that because you are sharing intimate time with a client that you can trust them and share your name too. You can’t. The self proclaimed hobbyists who review escorts on websites are the worst, they share your name and info like 12 year olds trading baseball cards. Don’t fall prey to the old line about how they had to give you screening info so its only fair you tell them who you are. That is a trap you will have to chew your own paw off to escape.

We come up with stage names to protect ourselves. No matter how comfortable we are with what we do the outside world is still very hard on us and the stigma of being a sex worker is very strong. Once a whore always a whore and no matter how many years pass and how many things you’ve done since you will always be branded a whore by certain groups and people. Keep your identity close to the vest so that you can control the outcome of your life and not be outed by some petty, small, person who has a need to punish you for the choices you make.

There are some things you can do to protect yourself if you’re one of those people who has a hard time telling men you’re getting naked with no. Or you would rather not deal with the whole reasonable conversation where they get all butt hurt when you tell them your very valid reasons for not wanting to share your identity with a man who’s paying you for sex. You can create a back story, you have to think of yourself as an onion with many layers. What you need is a fake real name! Something that sounds normal and plain and most of all you can REMEMBER it. Just as you create your sex worker persona, create the fake real you. Know where the fake you went to college, what state the fake you grew up in, a few small intimate details about the fake you that you can easily tell on the fly when you get cornered about who you really are.

I know it seems like a lot to do and a lot to remember but it will become second nature and it will  save you heartache and headache in the long run if you can rattle off  a few convincing details who who you “really” are.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer and Hypno-Domme

Escorting, Fetish Model, Money Management, Pro Domme, Sex Work, Uncategorized, Webcam

So You Want to Quit Your Day Job

So you want to quit your day job…

Ok, first thing? Don’t.
Not right away, anyway. You’ve got some serious planning to do first, sugarbritches! It took me nearly a year to get everything ready to go from working in this industry part-time to making it my full-time job and my sole means of income. If this is a choice that you have the luxury of making in advance, make the most of the time you have to make the move as painless as possible.

Are you making at least the same amount of money whoring part-time that you are while working full-time at the day job? If the answer is no, stop reading this article and start honing your skills in your chosen field and come back after the answer is yes. When you’re getting your footing while moving into being your own boss all the time, you’re going to need to take time figuring out a new rhythm, a new schedule, a new well… everything. This could very well eat into your planned “work week” at the beginning and allowing yourself enough time to adjust will save you some serious gray hairs. Especially since there really aren’t any guaranteed paychecks in this biz, bogging yourself down with “holy shit I have to whore for 60 hours to make this week’s bills.” will kill you. KILL YOU. So yes, make sure you are comfortably making your current pay with part-time effort right out of the gate. it will make your transition that much easier. There will be booming times and lean times, be prepared.

Are you prepared to no longer have a mainstream job as an answer when someone asks you what you do for a living? Do you plan on being “out”? To whom? These are questions that you may not have had to think about when this was just a part-time gig but once you are all-in, be prepared to be asked about this “great new job you’ve started” and you should have an answer ready, (whatever it may be) for people that matter to you. Obviously, not everyone needs to know your business but be prepared to be asked, and be asked often. This is also a good time to remind you that at some point in time you could possibly be recognized or god forbid, outted.

Have a hefty amount in savings put away before you give your notice. I hope you’ve been saving your whore money while you’ve been slaving away at your day job because you really never know what adjustments you’re going to need to make once you make your ho job your only job. I saved 6 months worth of expenses because my husband had been laid off the year before and that showed me how important a safety net was, especially with a mortgage.

Let’s talk health insurance. Because let’s be real, this is a giant issue for us all and if you’re leaving a job without health insurance, you better have a plan to replace it. Many of us go without, on a hope and a prayer and lord knows that shit ain’t smart. (I was lucky enough to only have to wait a few months until open enrollment for my husband’s plan through his employer. I know how lucky I was to have had that option.) Paying out of pocket for every last bit of health insurance you’ll need can get CRAZY expensive, and hopefully the Affordable Healthcare Act will help lessen some of the burden in the future. Regardless, it’s always a good idea to do your research and plan for what decisions you’ll need to make.

So yes, if Sex Work is the job you love (or love to hate) and the career path you’re choosing, please don’t jump in hastily. Plan ahead, save your money and come to terms with whatever social hangups others will have about your profession before making the leap.
It’ll serve you well in the long run.

 

Savannah Darling: Fetish Specialist, Webcam Mistress, Phone Sex Operator, Professional Domina

Escorting, Legal, Pro Domme, Sex Work

Intercourse is intercourse

People ask all the time from seasoned pros to young hopefuls looking to get into the sex business. Even clients who are looking for a way to beat the system ask.  They ask over and over and over. It’s one of my most searched terms on my websites “is using a strap on on a client prostitution?” The hope is always that no, fucking someone with a strap-on in exchange for cash isn’t considered prostitution. Hope does spring eternal. The simple fact is intercourse is intercourse and fucking someone with your hand, your sexual organs, your mouth or an object in exchange for cash is prostitution. There’s no getting around it. You can call yourself a Pro Domme and maybe you are or maybe you hope to be but if you offer strap-on play as one of your services then you are engaging in an act of prostitution. In some states (most check your local laws) just agreeing to such an act will get you popped and off you will go on a ride to the county clink. I know people want to believe it’s somehow legal to fuck someone with a strap on for cash because its seems like a gray area but its not, Its not a gray area its an act of prostitution. Don’t try to game the system by lying to yourself about what it is your doing. Just accept the fact that what you are offering isn’t legal and take the necessary precaution if you decide to offer this activity be you Pro Domme or provider and screen your potential clients to make sure you’re not putting yourself in a bad position or harms way in terms of your freedom.

You don’t have to call your self a prostitute and  leave those disclaimers up in your website that say you’re a Pro Domme not a hooker if it makes you feel better but it wont protect you if you offer illegal activities and you happen to be unlucky enough to be the one who booked the session with a man in a undercover uniform. Hookers all have disclaimers on their sites too, you know the ones “all fees are for time and companionship only… blah blah” they also wont help if you get arrested. Only screening can help you. Only weeding out possible bad situations can help you. There is never no risk when you are engaging in activities frowned upon by penal code XYZ, but the idea is to minimize your risk. Your best tool in that is to screen your clients and screen well.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer, Phone Sex Operator and Hypno-Domme