Tag Archives: Escorting

Review Fall Out

Escort reviews are tricky business. Some hate them, some love them some just want to ignore the fact that they exist. The decision to allow yourself to be reviewed is a personal one. Some people swear by them and all that being involved in the review website culture offers. Others swear they don’t do anything to help their business and hate them, flat out. Others refuse to participate at all and ignore how they impact the industry as a whole. Reviews are personal and the opinions on them are about as diverse as stars in the sky. That’s a lot of fucking diversity. If you are an escort that allows reviews you will inevitably come up against a not so glowing review or worse a complete fake one. It happens and it will happen to you eventually if you stick around the business long enough. Here are a couple of things to help you keep your sanity when one of those two things happen.

1. Its only one persons opinion

This is a fact, a review is just one persons opinion about an event in which the reviewer was a active participant. If the experience was bland or not as thrilling as the client wanted well he was there too. Lots of times clients have unrealistic expectations about what an encounter will be. They’ve spent a long time building up in their head and saving their pennies and forget that they are there to participate and would like to hold the escort responsible as if shes the only one involved in the encounter.  Some sadly are just giant assholes. We cant be all things to all people, we can only do the best job we can when meeting with clients. One mediocre review isn’t going to change anything! Seriously it’s not! Hell I know ladies with many not so favorable reviews that do just fine and don’t let the criticism affect them. It just rolls off  their backs like water off a duck. Just remember to tell yourself that you did your best to meet that clients needs and move on and focus on other things that do mater.

2. Fake reviews happen try to minimize how you react to it

You got a fake review, it happens to the best of us! Sometimes fake reviews are good an sometimes they are bad. In any event no one likes it when people make stuff up about them. You have several options after getting a fake review. You can message the poster and ask him if hes mixed you up with someone else. Be nice and try to keep your cool, don’t blast him for being the dirt bag he is. Give him a reason to remove it all on his own. I find sweetness and guilt can work wonders. Some review websites will work with you if you believe a review to be fake. Give them the info they need to take it down. If your tour schedule shows you are in Idaho when this guy from Rhode Island posted your fake review you might be able to get the site to remove it all on their own. If you are connected enough ask a third party  respected by both sides of the equation to mediate the dispute. It doesn’t always work but sometimes, just sometimes it does. If all else fails just forget the fake review is there. You think all those reviews on Yelp are real? They’re not and the more that the world gets involved with review culture ( yes, I just did say that) the less impact any reviews of any business or service has.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, former GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer and Hypno-Domme

Staying Grounded As An Escort

It’s hard to stay grounded, you can easily get wrapped up in our job and with many other jobs (think lawyer or member of the White House staff) you can lose yourself in your job. That’s not good for your escorting career, your well being and can turn you into a person no one wants to be around. It happens fast and its insidious and if you don’t take care and take steps you will find yourself being that person and climbing out of the hole you dug for yourself which is  a lot harder then avoiding the hole to begin with. As escorts we are often saying and by that I mean screaming from the roof tops that we are more then our jobs, that we are real living breathing humans with many facets. Escort activists want people to take our jobs seriously and for us not to be punch lines. Lets make that easier for them by staying grounded, sane and not feeding into the stereotype. Some simple steps escorts can take to help stay grounded

1. Have friends out side of the business

Yes, I know its hard. Its much easier to hide the the safe zone of all my friends be they online or in person are sex workers or clients. Don’t fall into that trap. Yes, other sex workers understand you better then civvies but when you wrap your self up in that flag, you do yourself and those around you a disservice. People outside of sex work have real things to offer you like making sure you don’t forget that other people have struggles and that not everything is about you. When my friend the bartender had to deal with a very bad work situation where she was sexually harassed and threatened and her rent was due I realized that my 600 buck client that moved our date to the following week wasn’t such a travesty. Yes, as escorts we have specific challenges but other people have challenges too, many harder then ours.

2. Watch the news once in a while

Watch the news so you know whats going on int he world. Not only will it help your life prospective but it has the added bonus of helping you to sound current in conversations with clients (or others). It makes you look  like you understand the world, you might even learn a few things.

3. Save money

If you have a good week, don’t go out and blow all your cash on a pair of Louboutins or Manolo’s. Seriously don’t spend your hard earned money on frivolous bullshit. Put that money away and save it. Save it for when you don’t have a good week or for when you want to take a vacation or because even though your really loving your life as an escort now, money in the bank will give you options in the future. Don’t blow that opportunity because of shoes or status bullshit like a Fendi bag.

4. Do something to expand your skills that’s not business related

Take a class, volunteer, learn a new skill. You wont always want to be a sex worker and learning new things will help you in the future. Like to write? Take a creative writing class. Love how smart your dog is, take him to agility training classes, always had a thing for numbers take a statistics seminar. Register for print making classes at th local JC, take a sewing class, a TV production class anything that will expand your horizons. It not only will help you to be present in the world but you walk away with a new skill.

5. Get a hobby

Swim with sharks, ride a horse, collect stamps, sculpt. The field is wide open when it comes to hobbies. Find something that interests you and then just do it. You’ll meet new people who you have something in common with thats not work related. You’ll  learn new things! Your new hobby is just for you to enjoy, it will make you a better person and help keep you connected to the outside world.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer and Hypno-Domme

Secrets and what you do for a living

What do you do for work? To most people this is a simple question with a simple answer. However, for an escort it can be daunting to answer weather the answer is a down right lie or the gods honest  truth. For years I’ve  personally been honest with close friends and family about “Ginger” but, there are many occasions where I do need to make up an acceptable lie about my occupation. I hate doing it but, it’s a means of protection and acceptance. Here are a few suggestions and tips for the people in your life that require a less than honest answer about what its is you actually do for a living.

Stripper: Explains excess cash, odd hours, constant personal maintenance. Now that answer might not be your first choice but, its only a half lie and hey it sounds way better than prostitute

Small Business Marketing Consulting: great for touring pros, explains constantly being glued to your phone, travel to odd places, random fluxes of cash. Weather or not you realize it you’re a mini marketing diva and you probably know more about small business marketing then most kids coming out of college with a BA in marketing.

“_______” Consulting: fill in the blank, being a consultant gives you freedom to have a cool fake job in any sector.

Never lie about having a job at a physical location. Nothing like mom poping up at your fake job and finding out you lied, exception being strip club if your family wants to come see you at work in a club you’ve got bigger issues at hand then telling people what you do for a living. The two people you should never lie to about your occupation are, your lover or  anyone you are having an intimate relationship with. They have the RIGHT to know you are putting their sexual health at risk and you own then honesty. The other is yourself,  if you are not mentally strong enough or prepared to accept what you actually do for work, get out of the business now.

Ginger McNaughty: National Touring Escort

Follow Ginger on Twitter @GingerMcNaughty

 

So You Want to Quit Your Day Job

So you want to quit your day job…

Ok, first thing? Don’t.
Not right away, anyway. You’ve got some serious planning to do first, sugarbritches! It took me nearly a year to get everything ready to go from working in this industry part-time to making it my full-time job and my sole means of income. If this is a choice that you have the luxury of making in advance, make the most of the time you have to make the move as painless as possible.

Are you making at least the same amount of money whoring part-time that you are while working full-time at the day job? If the answer is no, stop reading this article and start honing your skills in your chosen field and come back after the answer is yes. When you’re getting your footing while moving into being your own boss all the time, you’re going to need to take time figuring out a new rhythm, a new schedule, a new well… everything. This could very well eat into your planned “work week” at the beginning and allowing yourself enough time to adjust will save you some serious gray hairs. Especially since there really aren’t any guaranteed paychecks in this biz, bogging yourself down with “holy shit I have to whore for 60 hours to make this week’s bills.” will kill you. KILL YOU. So yes, make sure you are comfortably making your current pay with part-time effort right out of the gate. it will make your transition that much easier. There will be booming times and lean times, be prepared.

Are you prepared to no longer have a mainstream job as an answer when someone asks you what you do for a living? Do you plan on being “out”? To whom? These are questions that you may not have had to think about when this was just a part-time gig but once you are all-in, be prepared to be asked about this “great new job you’ve started” and you should have an answer ready, (whatever it may be) for people that matter to you. Obviously, not everyone needs to know your business but be prepared to be asked, and be asked often. This is also a good time to remind you that at some point in time you could possibly be recognized or god forbid, outted.

Have a hefty amount in savings put away before you give your notice. I hope you’ve been saving your whore money while you’ve been slaving away at your day job because you really never know what adjustments you’re going to need to make once you make your ho job your only job. I saved 6 months worth of expenses because my husband had been laid off the year before and that showed me how important a safety net was, especially with a mortgage.

Let’s talk health insurance. Because let’s be real, this is a giant issue for us all and if you’re leaving a job without health insurance, you better have a plan to replace it. Many of us go without, on a hope and a prayer and lord knows that shit ain’t smart. (I was lucky enough to only have to wait a few months until open enrollment for my husband’s plan through his employer. I know how lucky I was to have had that option.) Paying out of pocket for every last bit of health insurance you’ll need can get CRAZY expensive, and hopefully the Affordable Healthcare Act will help lessen some of the burden in the future. Regardless, it’s always a good idea to do your research and plan for what decisions you’ll need to make.

So yes, if Sex Work is the job you love (or love to hate) and the career path you’re choosing, please don’t jump in hastily. Plan ahead, save your money and come to terms with whatever social hangups others will have about your profession before making the leap.
It’ll serve you well in the long run.

 

Savannah Darling: Fetish Specialist, Webcam Mistress, Phone Sex Operator, Professional Domina

Intercourse is intercourse

People ask all the time from seasoned pros to young hopefuls looking to get into the sex business. Even clients who are looking for a way to beat the system ask.  They ask over and over and over. It’s one of my most searched terms on my websites “is using a strap on on a client prostitution?” The hope is always that no, fucking someone with a strap-on in exchange for cash isn’t considered prostitution. Hope does spring eternal. The simple fact is intercourse is intercourse and fucking someone with your hand, your sexual organs, your mouth or an object in exchange for cash is prostitution. There’s no getting around it. You can call yourself a Pro Domme and maybe you are or maybe you hope to be but if you offer strap-on play as one of your services then you are engaging in an act of prostitution. In some states (most check your local laws) just agreeing to such an act will get you popped and off you will go on a ride to the county clink. I know people want to believe it’s somehow legal to fuck someone with a strap on for cash because its seems like a gray area but its not, Its not a gray area its an act of prostitution. Don’t try to game the system by lying to yourself about what it is your doing. Just accept the fact that what you are offering isn’t legal and take the necessary precaution if you decide to offer this activity be you Pro Domme or provider and screen your potential clients to make sure you’re not putting yourself in a bad position or harms way in terms of your freedom.

You don’t have to call your self a prostitute and  leave those disclaimers up in your website that say you’re a Pro Domme not a hooker if it makes you feel better but it wont protect you if you offer illegal activities and you happen to be unlucky enough to be the one who booked the session with a man in a undercover uniform. Hookers all have disclaimers on their sites too, you know the ones “all fees are for time and companionship only… blah blah” they also wont help if you get arrested. Only screening can help you. Only weeding out possible bad situations can help you. There is never no risk when you are engaging in activities frowned upon by penal code XYZ, but the idea is to minimize your risk. Your best tool in that is to screen your clients and screen well.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer, Phone Sex Operator and Hypno-Domme