All posts by fairywhoremother

Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer, Phone Sex Operator and Hypno-Domme. Jenny’s been working in the sex business for more years then is polite to say in mixed company. She has a long standing reputation for helping her fellow sex workers stay safe in an often risky business and has been bloggng and shinning a bright shinny light about working in the sex business since 2007. The good, the bad and even the ugly has been reveled. Never one to mince words, Jenny calls it like she sees it and has been called everything from a “Fairy Whore Mother” to divisive by her peers. Jenny is also a professional photographer and published writer in the mainstream world.

How To Protect Your Brand

I’m here to deliver some bad news: if you’re an independent escort who writes her own web copy, there’s a good chance someone else is going to steal it. The higher your visibility, i.e. the more you advertise, the better odds are of this happening, and of happening more than once. (I’ve even had wannabe straight gigolos steal my content!) Short of going completely UTR and hoping no thieves find you, what options do you have to deal with plagiarism?

Make your mark, don’t steal it

First, give yourself permission to protect your work. I hate confrontation, so even though nothing makes me angrier than being ripped off, I dread that reply email from the person I’m calling out. Steel your nerves by reminding yourself that you’re a professional, you created something original—and valuable—in the service of promoting your business, and someone else stole it for their own gain. This is not okay and it’s not harmless regardless of how green or ditzy the girl (or guy) who stole from you may be. You can get moral support from friends before taking action if you’re feeling a little unsure, and if they’re fellow working girls, they’d probably appreciate a heads up anyway about who among us isn’t as ethical as she should be. (I also derive a lot of encouragement from this comprehensive Amanda Brooks post capturing all the agony of having to deal with content thieves.) http://www.texasgoldengirl.com/afterhours/escort-plagarism/#more-954

Second, give the thief an easy way out. It pains me to admit it, but this is definitely a situation where you’ll get better results by swallowing your righteous anger and trying to sound sweet regardless of how furious you feel. Few people respond with grace when they’re caught doing something so obviously wrong, so whatever you do, don’t expect an apology or admission of guilt. Clench your teeth and type out something along the lines of “Dear Tiffanie, your pictures are simply adorable and you seem like a great girl but I noticed that you’ve inadvertently repeated some of the text I wrote for my own site. Can you please have your webmaster take down the following sections?” It’s a really good idea to let your first draft sit for at least a day so you can try to smooth out any lingering bitterness that’s come through.

Go ahead and let the culprit blame the copying on a web designer or a well-meaning client or a boyfriend, or her own crazy memory that allows her to mistake entire sentences of other people’s writing for her own. She’ll save face and you get what you want—hopefully.

Some friends of mine have offered to help the offender write her own text, or flat out ghost write it for her for free, which is something I would never be able to bring myself to do. However, I respect that approach for its generosity and you may have some luck with it. One of my friends explained this approach by saying, “I knew she’d never take me up on it,” but I’m not so sure about that. Definitely don’t offer this if you aren’t willing to follow through or she’ll probably feel justified in defaulting back to using yours.

Third, make it harder for people to steal from you. If you don’t care for visibly watermarking your images, you can use a digital watermark. Have your website designer code your pages so that it’s not possible to highlight and copy text. Thieves are by definition lazy, so this will have an impact right away, though on sites like Eros and Cityvibe they will still be able to lift your words.

Fourth, stay alert. Use services like Copyscape (http://copyscape.com) or set up google alerts on some of your more distinctive phrases. DMCA is really the best place to register with because it holds the most sway with hosts, and has the best luck of getting a site taken offline or modified when your entreaties to the escort herself (or himself) have gone unrewarded. (You can learn a little more about DMCA here, http://brainz.org/dmca-takedown-101/ You can also google pieces of your text now and then—lots of girls do this—and see what turns up. As you develop a place in the community, other escorts will let you know when they see your work on someone else’s page. Respond to it! Go back and read the first rule if you start feeling fatigued by all the policing you have to do.

Fifth, recognize when it’s time for no more Ms. Nice Escort. I use a copyright consultant to keep an eye on all of my content because I believe it needs to be done but I don’t want to have to do it myself. Instead of emailing someone directly now, I usually just ask him to send a DMCA notice to their host. This costs extra money but it’s worth it to me. I don’t have any more patience or energy to spare on arguing with someone who’s stolen from me, so I just go straight to the big guns whenever possible.

Sixth, recognize when it’s time to let it go. Some offenders will have been lucky enough to set up shop with a belligerent or lackadaisical host who won’t respond to your notices, or she may have tweaked your own paragraphs just enough to claim that it’s all a big coincidence (even if you and I and everyone else with a brain can see differently.) People who take short cuts are not destined for much success. Rest easy in the fact that they won’t be able to deliver in person what your scintillating, personalized prose promised.

Or, depending on what exactly they’ve stolen, you might take a different view entirely. A few lines I wrote about welcoming clients with disability have been stolen verbatim so many times over the years that it’s practically become standard industry practice to include it on a site or ad. And that’s okay. Those little bits related to protocol aren’t what distinguishes your personality, anyway.

Keep in mind through all of this that no matter how frustrated you may be by the plagiarism, you’ve got an ace up your sleeve that the plagiarists don’t. You can always write more unique, beguiling passages that attract the type of clients you want. If you’ve done it once, you’ve got the intelligence and creativity to do it again. Odds are, your copycats will continue to be unoriginal and opportunistic, rounding up the back of the pack while looking to people like you to try to understand what creates success. They’re simply not real threats. Of the two of you, you’re the one with the upper hand.

Avery Moore: High-End Escort, Traveling Companion

Staying Under The Hotel Radar

Traveling isn’t easy when you’re escorting. It can take a physical toll, worse it can take an emotional toll. Being away from home and all your creature comforts is harder then you may think, especially if you travel for more then a few days at a time. The last thing you want is to be hassled by the front desk or hotel management for being a hooker. Here are some tips on ways to keep under the radar when working out of a hotel on tour.

1. Steal towels from the maids cart: You’re going to need extra towels, hotels are getting stingier with them all the time. Plus sometime clients hog and use up all your towels. You really don’t want to be calling the maid every day or even several times a day asking for extra towels. Thats a giant red flag and will get you pegged as a hooker straight off the bat. If you see the maids cart (and how can you miss it) causally and with out being noticed take a handful of towels back to your room and stow them in your closet. Put out one fresh towel for each client, don’t give them the option to use up all your towels.

2. If you need to ask the maid for towels, TIP HER: Sometimes you need towels and you just cant find that maids cart to nick them from (FYI: look on other floors too) You have no choice but to call housekeeping and ask for fresh towels. When the maid comes to your door with them, tip her! Hand her five bucks say thank you, be nice to her and smile. She will be more then happy to give you the towels and be more likely to just turn a blind eye as to why a single female traveler needs all these goddamn towels. She may even ask you in the hall next time she sees you if you need any towels or anything for your room. Win her over with cash.

3. Take out your own trash: The last thing you want to do is bring unneeded or unwanted attention to yourself with a trash can full if condom wrappers.  Take out your own trash. Usually theres a trash can somewhere by the ice machine. Scope it out so you know where it is and take out your own trash. The less suspicion on you the better

4. Scope out the alternative entrances:  Tell your clients how to get to your room without going by the front desk. You would think this was a no brainer but its not. Trust me they don’t wanna go by the front desk anyways so give them the alternative route. If there is no alternative route available, tell your clients how to directly walk to the elevators so they don’t have to ask anyone for directions. Sometimes the elevators are hidden and its better when they can walk though the lobby like they know where they are going.

5. Do not register your hotel room with your hooker number: Hotels have taken to using the Google if they are suspicious of you. Some hotels just do it as a mater of course on all single female guests. Do not register/rent your room with your working number, use your personal cell number or a google voice number you have reserved just for hotel rentals. You don’t want a nosy, snoopy manager to google your number and see your 100 ads for escorting. That will only get you tossed out, extorted for free service if the guy is a super creep, or worse they will call the cops and try to get you arrested. (FYI never talk to the cops)

6. Always tip housekeeping: This also would seems like a no brainer but yet it’s not. Tip your maids and tip them well. If you have your room made up every day, tip them every day. If you’re like me and rarely take advantage of maid service, then tip them at the end of your stay even if you think they didn’t do much. They did do something, they didn’t rat you out to management and some hotels offer bounties on that kinda thing. The maids will always know whats what in a hotel. They see who comes and goes, they see you opening your door to that weird overweight guy who looks nervous and out of place. They are the eyes and ears of the place, they know you’re working out of that room so buy their silence with cold hard cash.  Don’t get greedy and forget to tip your maids. Its the cost of doing business and Its worth every penny you spend.

 

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer, Phone Sex Operator and Hypno-Domme.

Shut The Fuck Up

It can happen to anyone. It can happen if you are an escort, if you are a porn-star, a Dominatrix or a cam girl. You can be arrested. True your odds are higher if you are working in the gray area of sex work, the area where it might not be so legal to do what you are doing for a living but being arrested isn’t exclusive to escorts. Ask Kimberly Kupps if you don’t believe me, she was arrested for making adult content out of her own home. Cam sites in LA are being raided by the police for film permit violations  and who knows what will happen with all this required condoms on porn stuff going on right now. Laws are changing an their not very friendly to sex workers to begin with, no one is untouchable.  As a result its more important then ever to know your rights. Yes, you have rights and you need to invoke them if you are arrested or if you find yourself in a situation with law enforcement

First in foremost you have the right to remain silent. That’s your right and you should USE it. Do not answer questions, no matter how innocuous the questions seem. The police are trying to make a case against you and they will use everything they can including ANYTHING you say. You are only required to give them your legal name and you address of residence. You don’t need nor should you volunteer any other information. Just shut up, clam up, zip it, be quiet, do not engage them, do not answer questions do not pass go do not collect 200 dollars. You also have the right to an attorney so invoke that as well. Respectfully decline to answer any questions pending consultation with your attorney. Cops can and will lie to you, it’s their job to build a case against you that’s what they are there to do, anything you say can and WILL be used against you. So just shut the fuck up.  It might be hard, they will try to provoke you, say all kinds of terrible things about you, to you, but just go to your happy place and do not engage them. Do not try defend yourself, do not answer any questions. Just sit there and be mute. Get all Helen Keller up in their shit. They may get aggressive and curse at you, they may call you names and try to manipulate you into responding. They may even say that they will send you into a dark hole with no way out, forever. Do not take the bait, just be quiet. Give them your name, address tell them you will not answer their questions and and would like to see an attorney. The end. Be polite but do not engage no matter how much they try to get you to respond to their questions.

It seems so simple but so many people do not invoke their rights, they get caught up in the situation. Law enforcement has more experience then you in an arrest situation, they have the advantage, you’re likely to be scared, intimidated, horrified but do not take the bait do not let your self be manipulated into doing yourself no favors. The best way you can help yourself is to just be quiet.

Redlight Chicago has a training video you should watch, it not only has good info but they do reenactments of common LE techniques. http://www.redlightdistrictchicago.com/?p=43

Also download, read and even carry with you the ACLU bust card – its an invaluable resource, use it. ACLU BUST CARD 

I am in no way an attorney and I’m no substitute for legal advice. If you get arrested get real legal advice from a real lawyer. I’m just a sex worker who knows the value of keeping her mouth shut when it’s appropriate and when you come in contact with law enforcement that’s always a good time to invoke your right to shut the fuck up.

 

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer, Phone Sex Operator and Hypno-Domme

 

Buy Your Dot Com

I see it happen all the time, not just from the novice sex workers or those new to the business. It happens over and over, it causes people much stress, sometimes embarrassment and most importantly…. Money. What is this dreaded scourge on the sex business? People who don’t buy and own their own web domain. Yes, I know you think thats rudimentary, everyone knows to do that, right? Wrong! I own my own working name web domain (I also own a whole bunch of others because  I’m a digital hoarder) but I own the important one, I pay every year to renew it like clockwork and you should too.

There is a prominent porn actress who shall remain nameless as to not embarrass her. She is a niche performer with a good sized following, shes a former escort, she owns a couple of niche porn sites, she also been known to sell her services to other sex workers and those hoping to get into the biz as a “consultant” in all things social media and Internet marketing. Awesome right? Well yeah sorta, until you  find out that she doesn’t own her own web domain. Her “insert working name here” dot com website is owned by someone else, someone she used to do business with whom she had some kind of parting of the ways. Since they owned her domain name she walked with out it. I’m not sure I’d hire her to tell me about all things adult/social/Internet marketing when the very basics of how to control your won work, image and content in this often shady business is beyond her but  thats another tale for another day of be careful who you give your money to. I don’t want to come down too hard on her as we all make mistakes, but this is adult business 101. I’m sure this mistake cost her a lot of dollars, someone else getting monthly checks on all her content sold, on her membership site, not to mention the loss of control over her image and persona. They can use that domain to drive traffic to any other sites they want to, they also make money when people search her name and content and find their way to what looked like her official dot com. It’d her name plus dot com and she’s not profiting from it, someone else is. I cant even imagine all the time and energy thats now required to rank her NEW domain, the one that’s some variation on her porn actor name. Lots of work and time investments she wouldn’t have  to engage in if she actually owned her own domain instead of leaving that  very important task up to someone else to buy. You must be the owner of record on your own domain, to not do that can be disastrous.

This doesn’t even address squatters. People who will buy your working names domain in hopes that you will buy it from them for a much inflated price, it happens a lot. Do you want to shell out hundreds of dollars for something you could have bought for 17 bucks?  Or maybe they will load it with banner ads to affiliate programs where they get money for each click or sign up trading off YOUR name for THEIR profit. Yes, that happens

Buy your domain, you don’t have to create a site but you must own your name. Don’t let anyone buy it for you. You buy it, its easy to do. Make sure to add the extra money for privacy. Seriously do that. If you don’t you are opening the door for a world of trouble to save yourself 10 bucks. If you can buy it for 10 years, if you cant buy it for one and renew it when it comes up. Own your own stuff, take control of your business, your image and your domain. This is a business not a hobby and you must make smart decisions. Bad ones can cost you time, effort and most of all money.

 

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer, Phone Sex Operator and Hypno-Domme.