All posts by fairywhoremother

Dominatrix, GFE Escort, Fetish Clip Producer, Phone Sex Operator and Hypno-Domme. Jenny’s been working in the sex business for more years then is polite to say in mixed company. She has a long standing reputation for helping her fellow sex workers stay safe in an often risky business and has been bloggng and shinning a bright shinny light about working in the sex business since 2007. The good, the bad and even the ugly has been reveled. Never one to mince words, Jenny calls it like she sees it and has been called everything from a “Fairy Whore Mother” to divisive by her peers. Jenny is also a professional photographer and published writer in the mainstream world.

Sex work and payment processing

Its hard out there for a hoe! Being in one of the highest grossing industries doesn’t mean you get the benefits that anyone else would working in a “real” business. If you’re selling any kind of adult material from video to audio you will find a major roadblock to making money. Payment processing. It gets us all.  Since adult work is considered high risk most payment processors wont touch you with a ten foot pole. Those that do will take a giant chunk of your money. Sometimes upwards of 40%. That’s a lot of cash to give away to someone for them basically doing very little to actually doing nothing. A quick rundown of some options for selling your content and making money.

Paypal: Plain and simple Paypal is not adult friendly. Do not sell your material using them as a processor they will freeze your account.

Stripe: Its right in their Faq’s Adult content or services are a no go.

C4S: If you make video or audio C4S is an option. C4S is like old faithful, strong steady and they have been around forever. Thousands of people have studios with them, so its easy to get info on how they do business. They will host your content and they have their own customers to sell to  which means they bring traffic. They have a long standing reputable reputation. All that is great. They take 40% of every sale. That’s not great. Ive had a studio with them for years, customer service is great, they send me my money like fucking clock work and i rarely if ever seem them in pissing matches in forums with model. That’s called professionalism.  They are worth a look.

IWC: I Want Clips, popular with some people, others hate them. They pay out 70% and have contests where you can compete for more sales ( fun.. not) and occasionally have payouts that increase on holidays, wen is a nice feature. I heard there was some kind of multilevel system where the more in sales you make the larger % you can take home of your cash. That may have changed, ive been alerted by a user of the site its a straight percentage. Its worth asking the question of you decide to use them.  I have heard mixed opinions about how much traffic they actually bring to the table. Their nice is femdom more specifically video femdom. They are a small mom and pop shop, actually IWC has two dads. They have a lot of complaints about lack of customer service and a mysterious user agreement I haven’t been able to get my hands on but they could be a viable option if you fit their niche and don’t feel like you will have any issues that need addressing or immediate attention.

Niteflirt: A phone sex site where you an an independent contractor can use their platform to take calls or do webcam shows. However you can also sell your content which they call “goodies” Video, audio, photos all kinds of things can be uploaded there for sale.  They have a large built in audience but its hard to get noticed on the site unless you pay for top placement so you need to bring your own traffic until your audience finds you. They also take 30% of every sale. They have been around a long time so some of the features seem dated as they don’t do updates very often but Niteflirt is a workhorse, put in the effort and this one  pays off, in spades.

CCBill:  a long standing adult payment processor. Ive been using them for years. It works out to about 12/14% of each sale but depending on your weekly gross that can go down.  You will need to build your own site to sell your content on and you will have to pay the yearly fees to Visa and Mastercard which can come to 1000 per year. Yes, you have to give them a chunk of money for the honor of them taking  a % of every sale.  Welcome to the world of being a “high risk”  content provider. They don’t bring any traffic that’s on you but I have found their customer service excellent and my account rep is always happy to help me if i have questions.  Also if you are a Hypno Domme you know how hard it is to find a processor who always you to use the world “hypnosis” CCBill does not have that restriction.

Clipvia: I told you they were shady years ago. They finally shut down after stealing money from so many people. Good riddance.

If you have any platforms to add to this list? Get in touch with your experience!

Backpage went poof!

Backpage was shut down. What happens next is panic. I know, I lived though the shut down of the Craig’s List Adult Services shut down. Try to stay calm. You will be okay, develop a new plan. Get to work implementing it.

Read this from a couple years ago, it was written after Redbook disappeared:  http://fairywhoremother.com/4-things-you-can-do-when-your-advertising-venue-disappears/

Here is a running list of places to advertise that still exist. (as of Jan 2017) Some of these cost money, some don’t. Some might be for local areas, others are nationwide. Do your research, see what works for you. Most of all know you will be OK. This happens, it sucks but you are a sex worker you’re already resourceful.  (if you have any sites to ad to this list  please reach out so i can add them. jenny@goodtimejenny.com or on Twitter @jennydemilo )

http://www.eros.com/

http://www.cityvibe.com/

What I learned from getting WordPress hacked

It happened. I got WordPress hacked. It was a huge nightmare. Many of my sites were infected. It got so bad that no only did i have to delete a handful of sites but several of my sites got listed with Google as a site that hosts maleware and I was put in Google jail until i could fix the issue. WordPress hacks are very common now, a lot more then just a few years ago. I did what anyone would do when facing a problem like this, I called my webhost in hopes of  figuring out the damage really was and a path forward to solve the problem.  Sadly my hosting company had been sold to a giant conglomerate and no longer will put in any kind of support ticket for any kind of security issue. So I dropped them like a hot fucking potato after being with them for 8 years and found a company who would not only host me but helped me clean my compromised sites . During this process I learned some basic things that anyone with a WordPress site can do to help keep the hackers at bay.

  1. keep your WordPress version up to date. You would think this is a no brainer, its not. Do it keep it up to date. When you get that email saying theres a new version of WordPress. UPDATE! Its likely got a fix for a known vulnerability. This will save your ass.

2. Keep all your plugins up to date and delete ones you’re not using. Have plugins you tried out but then thought eh… delete them. you don’t need them sitting there inviting hackers to play with your wordpress back-end. Keep all the plugins you do like up to date and fresh.

3. Delete any only themes you’re not using. Say buhbye to all those themes you tested out and though, yuck. You dont need them and they also can be a way in for hackers.

4. Keep your theme up to date. If you have a theme thats is never updated time to find a new one. This is a very common way hackers can bust into your site. You want to stay with a theme that updates.

5. Wordfence. Install it ( its free) and run regular scans. Its a serious life saver.

6. Find a hosting company with good tech support. Not all companies will help you if you get hacked. I learned this the hard way, most of my sites were off line for a full week and I spent countless hours  the phone arguing with my ass-clown hosting company (cough Hostgator cough) getting nowhere fast. Whoever you host with should be able to in the very least help you sort out whats going on, give you some guidance on how to handle it moving forward and in some cases actually help you fix the issue.

7. Change your passwords. You have to change your passwords to something hard to break. Do not use anything with words in it, make it a mix of special characters and capitals and it should be long. I know how will you ever remember it? You wont. Write it down, use a password manager and suck it up. Passwords are so easy to hack now its not even funny.

None of this will guarantee you wont get hacked but its a good step forward and some of the better WordPress practices you can employ. Its better to take the precautions then to pick up the frustrating pieces of being WordPress hacked.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, Hypno-Domme and former GFE Escort

Follow Jenny DeMilo on Twitter

Escort support services and staying above the fray

broken-trustEscort support services. Some are needed, others are looking to rip you off. Some you love, others you quite frankly hate. They are often a necessary evil when you’re an escort (or any sex worker really) They are your advertising venues, your photographers, your screening and safety services, your copy writers, web developers and marketing experts. You need what they  have to offer and they need your money.  It’s hard to trust them in this often dicey business. Its hard to trust anyone when what you do isn’t always legal. Some require your IDs ( advertising venues) others take sensitive photos of you (Photographers) some need your passwords (web developers) Some you trust to keep you safe when meeting clients (screening services) As an escort you make a calculated risk assessment on who to trust with your sensitive information and lets face it your money. They all want your money. Some provide value for service still others are trying to rip you off.

Some things to keep in mind when evaluating trust for an escort support service. Are they above the fray?

1. Do they get involved in petty fights?

Are they meddling in the business of escorts? Pitting them against each other on a message board to garner support for their position on something? Or fighting so hard for your money that they denigrate their competitors? Example: Does your screening or safety service bad mouth their competitors? Yes, they all want your business but do they actively try to get that business by putting down their competition using scare tactics, innuendo, rumor (often started by them) or any other backhanded means. IE do they talk a lot of shit publicly or with a whisper campaign. If they do watch out. Thats not professional and do you really want YOUR name and reputation associated with people who act like that. Not to mention they could and would those same tactics against you if they felt you in any way posed a threat to their business.

2. Are they professional in their communications?

Do they call you sweetie in a business email. Are they overly friendly leaning toward creepy because you have nude pictures on your website? Do they ask inappropriate questions or steer any business conversations towards sex. HUGE red flags. Run don’t walk to someone who will treat you with respect. This is your business not hot talk central.

3. Do they treat you like a professional person or like a dumb whore with too much money?

People often think escorting is recession proof. That escorts are rolling in dough 24/7. They also often think that escorts are too stupid to do anything other then fuck for money. Which is far from the truth but there are those support services that see you as marks. They should treat you professionally and if you at all get a whiff that they see you as someone to take advantage of then find someone else because they are not trustworthy.

4. Do they have an established long standing reputation?

Being in business a long time as an escort support service doesn’t automatically mean their trustworthy. However having a long standing reputation in a business atmosphere with a lot of turn over should carry weight. All business have their ups and downs but you generally want to deal with people who have more ups then downs. People who opt to stay out of the fray and drama. People who are known for not being busy bodies, belittlers, or shady. If a support service has too many incidents of  “he said she says” then I tend to stay away. New support service business are popping up all the time and just because someone is new doesn’t mean you should dismiss them out of hand but a splashy flashy website should take a back seat to a reference from a trusted colleague. You cant please 100% of the people all the time  and if a support business has been in business long enough you will have likely pissed someone off. However what kind of pissing off did they do? Did they over charge someone and then rectified the mistake? Or did they give out an escorts real name address and phone number because she pissed them off? All of that needs to be considered when weighing a supports service trustworthiness.

Be wary of any support services that tries to woo you into helping them by giving out personal information on competitors or how they do business.  The support services that stay in business the longest and have the best reputations are the ones that stay out of all that. That provide value for money and are discreet when they need to be and professional always. You vet your clients to make sure they are safe you should be doing the same with your escort support services.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, Hypno-Domme and former GFE Escort

Follow Jenny DeMilo on Twitter

Do The Math

back-to-school-retro-school-classroom-1408441525-view-0If you’re new to escorting or even if you’re not new sometimes its hard to tell what it is you really need to have to make money. As an independent escort it your own business and as with all business it takes money to make money. You can cut down on some of those costs by putting in a little time into figuring out what you really need to spend your money on and what you don’t. Making sure in the process to get value for money. Website: Though you don’t need a website to be an escort, it’s probably a good idea to get one.  Having a website shows some measure of legitimacy. If you are a little web savvy you can put up your own site. If not there are people who can do that for you. What they charge will vary far and wide. What you will get for that money will also vary. You should think carefully about what it is you want and what you are willing to pay to get it. A simple site works just as well as a very complicated site with all the bells and whistles. If you hire a web person to make you a site who does a lot of escort sites, make sure to do what you can to make your site look unique. You don’t want to look like everyone else. Your site should reflect you. Think about it from your client side, he’s weeding though a lot of sites and though a lot of potential escorts. Stand out! Oh and for gods sake if you put up your own site pay for your own hosting and a domain name. Don’t use a free site thats asking for trouble. Many are not adult friendly and you run the risk of waking up one day and your sites been deleted.

Photography: Every escort needs photos. Photos are going to sell you to potential clients more then anything else you do. Think about what image you want to project. Are you sweet and young? Are you dominating and fierce?  Are you quirky and alternative? What ever your assets are you want to project those in your photos.  Don’t just hire the dude who shoots all the hookers. What that is going to get you is your photos will look like all the other hookers photos. Hire someone you’re comfortable with (lots of creepy dudes with cameras out there), that you can trust (especially if you don’t show your face), who will design a shoot that is unique to you. Get references from other women in the business. Really look at someones portfolio. If they have 100 photos of skinny girls in lingerie and you’re fuller figured then that’s not your guy. If all they have to show are photos of white girls and you are a different shade then thats not your guy. If their portfolios are filled with pictures of landscapes and puppies then id think twice about spending your hard earned cash on that guy. Make sure they can do what it is you want and that they aren’t just putting up their lucky shots. Remember its easy to make a model… look like a model. Prices will also vary a lot so shop around.  If an average shoot in your area with a sex worker friendly photographer is 300 bucks and that gets you a set of usable retouched photos, then what should you get for a 1200 shoot? Also remember that as an escort you need to get new photos often, keep that in mind so when you are budgeting for shoots.You will need to do at least one shoot a year and you probably should do two.

Video: This is a thing now and frankly I don’t know why. Oh I know why some “clients” might like them. These are the same guys who can’t pull the trigger unless a girls got 500 reviews. But video isn’t necessary. It’s not a thing you need to have to work, even at the high end. Anyone that tells you that is selling something.  Does everyone need to have a Victoria Secrets style video to promote herself? The short answer is no.

Advertising: This is something you will need to invest in and put in some trail and error. Not all advertising works for all girls. Your BFF might really get a lot of work off a site that you get nothing off of. People in New York might pay for ads on a site that works, while in Detroit that same site will suck for bringing in clients. There is not rhyme or reason to it. The best thing you can do is set yourself a monthly advertising budget and then see what works for you. Try different things one at a time, then measure the success. Make sure you track hits to your website and ask your clients where they saw your ad. Not all of them will remember and some will get it wrong but absent of a customer satisfaction survey its the best you have to measure whats working. Also think of non traditional advertising venues like review boards, screening sites and social media.

Putting a little thought and time into determining what it is you need then adding up what that will cost is the best thing you can do for your business. You don’t need a ton of money but you should be setting some aside for these types of things. Do the math. Lots of people out there are looking to take advantage of you because they think you are rolling in escort dough and if you are new there are people who will tell you you need all the things and you can buy them from them of course. Be smart, be skeptical and don’t get taken advantage of.

Jenny DeMilo: Dominatrix, Hypno-Domme and former GFE Escort

Follow Jenny DeMilo on Twitter